1976 CAG

The Personal History of CAG and His Parents

Chad's Birth

Mom: Chad was due on Mother's day, May 9, 1976.  The Friday night before his due date Kent and I went to a friend's wedding reception.  I made a pig of myself on the refreshments and joked about him "making camp' in my tummy.  We came home early and watched Maureen Stapleton in "Belle of the Stardust Ball", then cuddled to sleep in bed until 2am. I awoke to a "pop", not unlike a fetus' single hiccough.  I got up to go to the bathroom and couldn't get off the toilet.  A slow dribble of water trickled down my legs.  The realization that this was the onslaught of labor sent little electric thrills through my body.  I wrapped a blue and gold hand towel between my legs and eased back into bed to try and get some more sleep.  The waves of gentle contractions rolling from the small of my back towards my pelvic bone every ten minutes re-electrified me each time until I was wide awake em with calm anticipation.  I decided to clean up my room so my mother and mother-in-law wouldn't discover my "file system" stacked in disorderly piles beside the bed.  Sitting on the edge of the bed and shuffling through papers, I inadvertently awoke Kent, who sprung out of bed like a frightened cat when I told him yes, I was in labor.  I told him to go back to sleep, it would be hours before we'd even need to go to the hospital.  (Labor with first babies averages close to twenty hours.)  He said he couldn't, that he was too nervous.  He chattered excitedly, paced the floor, pulled on his clothes, and then ran out to find a gas station open near Ocean park and Lincoln Blvd in Santa Monica at 3am.  Every time I moved it felt as though all my insides from my diaphragm down were rolling over a bumpy road.  I took me half an hour just to get dressed.  I knew I'd never make it through cleaning the bedroom or fixing Kent's lunch.  When he returned with the car, a teak blue MGB, I told him he'd better pull some frozen sandwiches out of the freezer.  He said that he was so excited and nervous he wouldn't be able to eat.  He said that he felt like vomiting.  He called my dad to ask him what we should do; the contractions were five minutes apart, and our hospital, in San Gabriel, was forty minutes away.  My dad sleepily told us to go on over to the hospital and let the nurses check me...we could always go over to my parent's house if I "wasn't doing anything much".

It was about 3:45 am when we finally pulled ourselves together, ready to leave.  Thoughtful Kent had parked the car at the end of the block and across the street from our white, black trimmed apartment building.  I panted my way down each step of the flight of stairs from our second story apartment, pausing frequently, and remembered wryly how my neighbor had chuckled when she told me that she had thought she could just waltz into the hospital right before deliver.  Now I understood why she had laughed hard. I could hardly walk, let alone waltz, and I was barely into first stage labor.  I heaved heavily against a lighted street lamp while Kent yelled at me and rearranged bags under the MG's back latch.  A passing motorist hung his head out the window and gawked with unabashed curiosity.  I chuckled out loud as I imagined the hilarity that this situation must appear to others.  Our little sports car hugged the road and I felt every bump, every rock, every indentation and chuckhole.  Every gearshift ground my spine, every jolt reverberated throughout my system. I put my hands, palms down on the leather seat, under my thighs to act as shock absorbers.  Studiously practicing my controlled breathing and effleurage (abdominal massage), I focused on the license plate of the car ahead and counted the minutes.

At the Hospital

When I was in labor Kent had found an early morning Laurel and Hardy movie on television.  He had yucked it up and then, exhausted by all the excitement and lack of sleep, had curled behind me on the same narrow twin bed and fallen asleep.  He only roused himself when I yelled "rub my back!" with a lazy massaging motion of his left hand.  At any other time I could have found him amusing, but at that time I fumed at his seeming insensitivity to my ordeal.  My dad showed up "just to see how I was doing" and I delivered forty-five minutes later. 

Suzanne: May 10, 1976, Monday May 3 I felt some pre-labor contractions while resting in the early hours of the morning. That afternoon my Dad said after he examined me that the baby could come that week, he was ready. Tuesday night Relief Society tied off a quilt for the baby. Thursday I began to feel a certain urgency to put everything in order and I was glad I was packed and had some casseroles, beans and stew frozen, and my

bags packed.

Friday Kent and I went to Drake Fuller's reception (son of Bill and Arla Hickman) and Arla asked if the baby was due in about a month. I laughed and said, "no, this Sunday (May 9th), Mother's Day. But I think he's decided to camp awhile." (I could feel him up under my right side).

That night Kent and I stayed up until 11 watching a movie. About 2 am I awoke and felt a “pop”. It was much like a baby hiccupping inside the mother's womb only stronger. I knew instantly that my "bag of waters" (amniotic sac surrounding the baby) had broken. I got up to go to the bathroom and felt the mucous plug (jelly-like protective substance stopping up the opening of the cervix) drop and I began leaking. I wrapped a towel around me and went back to bed thinking labor could start anytime in 24 hour and it will probably be 1214 hours after it starts before the baby comes....So, I can get some more sleep. I checked my watch and it was 2:10 am. I went back to bed and tried to relax but I was a little too excited. Then the contractions started coming about 5 minutes apart. I was wide-awake. Still thinking I had lots of time I began to rummage through my file papers and pick up the room a bit so it would be semi-orderly when I came home and my mother came out to help.

Kent heard me and asked quickly "Are you in labor yet?" I told him what had happened and he immediately came to life. I tried to persuade him to rest but he said, "I'm too excited! How can a guy sleep when his wife's about to have a baby?" A few minutes later when I was back in the bathroom (for more towels) Kent knocked on the door and said he was going to go get gas in the car. I suggested he wait until we were on the way to the hospital but he said he wanted to go now. He was obviously very excited. I went in and began to finish packing and think of all the little things I wanted to do to get ready to leave and I discovered how HARD it was to MOVE. Every time I did I felt like I was having a contraction. It was all I could do to get dressed. Kent was back and gathered up the things I needed and made his lunch. I called my dad about 3:30 and told him what was happening. Contractions were coming 2 1/2 to 5 minutes apart and lasting between 4575 seconds. He said for us to head over to the hospital and let the nurses check me.

It took forever for me to get out to the car. I had to stop with every contraction, and every step felt like one. I stopped by the street sign out at the corner in front to rest and a fellow drove by and looked at me (so obviously pregnant) and Kent packing suitcase and bags in the car and probably had himself a good chuckle as he realized what we were doing. The ride to the hospital was less than comfortable as I felt every bump and gear shift and stop in that little MG sports car. I tried a combination pant blow and slow breathing to help me stay on top of the contractions.

We arrived at 4:30 am. The nurse wheeled me in to the labor room to check me. I was 2 cm and the contractions were about 3 minutes apart. At 4:45 she called dad and then moved me to the single labor room. I vomited and she gave me prep. They finally let Kent in at 5 :30. Poor guy was ready to go out of his mind. They’d kept him in the waiting room the last hour filling out forms. The receptionist (who was very slow) then typed them up. All the while this horrible late movie was on where this girl was being chased around in a castle dungeon by monks and mad man, and she'd scream. Kent had to endure all this while envisioning me having the baby without him. Finally he turned the TV off shortly before they came and got him.

The nurse checked me again about 6:30 and I was not quite  3 cm. I used the clock for a focal point found that by taking each contraction one at a time and telling myself "only 20 seconds more and the peak will be over" I could handle the discomfort. When I was on my back the contractions were less hard but my back ached awfully. When I was on my side, the contractions came harder, longer, but then I could have Kent rub my back. Kent was tired. He watched a Laurel and Hardy movie until 6am. But when that was over he tried snoozing in a chair or on the twin bed beside me. He'd arouse enough to sort of move his hand around half-heartedly when I'd shout out "rub!.....HARDER!" (Next time we'll have to condition him to respond in his sleep.) He was so tired but I was having increasingly harder labor and it helped immeasurably for him to apply pressure.

At 8:00 when the nurse checked me I was almost 4 centimeters. I expected the next stage of labor to take several hours and was trying not to pull out all stops just yet, but it was hard to stay in control and I didn't know how much longer I could go on. About 8:30 Kent 'roused himself and sat on the bed with his back to the wall. Sensing my uncomfortable-ness and fatigue, prayed and asked the Lord to speed things along for me . At 9:00 my dad came and checked me and I was already 8 cm. dilated and was beginning to feel the urge to push. I was chilled a little too as I was entering the final stages of labor. I was surprised and relieved. I could now go into my pant-blow breathing. Kent went out to the car to get his consecrated oil and at 915, my Dad sealed the anointing and Kent gave me a blessing. He blessed me that I would enjoy the experience. He said (later) he felt an outpouring of the spirit as he gave it to me. I recalled my patriarchal blessing in which the Lord promised me great joy with the first child and with every child I bear. I took comfort and faith from that blessing and knew I could stay in control.

Close to 9:30 they wheeled me into the delivery room and when I was on the table I began to push with the contractions. It was hard work but I didn't want any anesthetic. At 9:45, my dad pulled out a beautiful big baby boy. He came quickly, with a great gush of water. I barely saw what was happening as I was concentrating so hard on pushing. I was surprised it was a boy; it seemed so strange to suddenly have a baby and not be pregnant any more. They laid him across my stomach and I looked at little Chad Aaron all 8 lbs 11 oz, 21 inches in disbelief. I remember thinking it was worth all the discomfort and agony I'd go through that whole experience all over again, just to have this precious little one.

Kent says that while dad (now Grandpa) was holding him up and sucking the mucous out of his lungs it seemed forever until he began crying and breathing. I remember he was all purple with white stuff on him. Then he gave a weak cry and turned pink. His apgar score was 9 out of a possible 10. I began to shiver and shake uncontrollably while dad sewed me up and the nurse cleaned Chad. When Chad and I were finally bundled up warm, he was given back to me to hold. As I did I was filled with joy and the Holy Ghost as I held my perfect little son. Kent and I wept, and I still weep as I recall that special moment. Chad was born in the same room (in San Gabriel Hospital) by the same doctor (Grandpa Brown) that I was 21 years previously.  I got tucked in bed and Kent wrote down his impressions of that experience. He kissed me goodbye, went to take more pictures of Chad in the nursery (he took some a few minutes after birth), and went over my folks' place to sleep for a couple of hours before coming back to see me. I drifted off into a peaceful, blissful sleep. Grandma and Grandpa Gardiner and Gayle G. Reese, Mark and Karen Gardiner visited me as well as my mother and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa Brown. I was on such a "natural high" I couldn't sleep Saturday night. Cathy Carlson, my former M I A president was my roommate. She was in the hospital to have her seventh child (my dad delivered a 9 lb 11 oz boy Curtis) She and I enjoyed each other's company.

Dr. Novak came to see me a moment. He said Dad told every one in the hospital staff that I had a near perfect first delivery. Sunday he went around saying he completely underestimated the day before. He told everyone they could tell which baby was his grandson in the nursery he was the one with a halo over his head. My dad said to me "sons and daughters are both nice to have......it's special to have your first child, but if you want to know what a real thrill is wait till your child has their first one."

Monday after lunch Kent came to pick Chad and me up. He seemed so fragile, we were afraid to even breath on him. We kept the windows up the whole drive home even though it was sweltering. As we neared home Kent began to croon a love song to me. We heard a wail out of Chad just as Kent held a sour note. We laughed and looked down at him and he was back to sleep. Chad slept all the way home and then most of the day.

The Story From Kent

Kent: someone who was sifting through papers awakened me at 2:30 am.  Suzanne said that her bag of water had broken and I rushed down to the gas station in my teak blue '72 MGBGT to fill the tank, as I was without gas!

We quickly went to the San Gabriel (Memorial) Community Hospital and I waited out in the waiting room where they had a terrible movie about were wolves  thinking all the time that I was missing the birth of my child for an hour worth of sick, repulsive TV. I went into the delivery room at 2am .  Suzanne was having contractions.  She was hot so we turned on a fan.  When she lay on her side her contractions hurt less but her back hurt more, so I rubbed her back for her but was so tired I kept falling asleep between contractions!

At 8:30 she was only 3cm dilated.  I prayed that things would move faster as I could tell she was beginning to weaken.  Normally it wouldn't happen till noon but at 9:00am she was almost ready.  Her dad arrived.  Whew!  I went out to get the oil and was shocked how much had happened in a couple of minutes!  Her father anointed her and I pronounced a blessing.  I blessed her that she would "enjoy the birth experience!"  Later she told me that this gave her added faith.  I really felt the spirit of the Lord at that sacred moment.  She was wheeled into the delivery room.  The doctor told me to sit on a stool at Suzanne's head.  At 9:45 Chad was born.  Truly a miracle, if I have ever witnessed one.  Her father said how proud he was of her.  She had refused "gas" and had "enjoyed" the experience.  I felt that this was a sacred and inspiring experience!  It was thrilling to see your son held in the doctor's hands and waiting fort the babe to cry.  When we wheeled Suzanne out of the delivery room Chad was placed on her chest and she cried tears of joy!  I too shed tears.  It was a wonderful experience, a marvelous moment.  I'm a daddy!

Suzanne's Impressions Upon Motherhood

Suzanne: Today is the 14th of May, Chad is 6 days old. He truly is a joy, a precious, perfect baby, and Kent and I love him very much. Today he smiled a few times. I love to watch Kent with him. He is so gentle and tender...kisses him, talks to him, plays with him, loves to carry him around, put him to sleep on Kent's tummy, burp him, change him. Chad is a very loved baby. I wonder if that is why he is so very placid and easy to care for.

Kent picked out the name Chad. Said he's thought about naming his first son that so much he couldn't imagine naming him otherwise. He is a proud father. Reminds me of when we were dating. One night he came over for family home evening and we went up to a wildlife park for a picnic. Janna was visiting with her son Ben. As I watched Kent carry Ben around, talk and play with him so tenderly, I knew I wanted him to be the father of my children.

Chad is the first and oldest Gardiner grandson who will carry on the name Gardiner in the Gardiner family, and the firstborn grandson under the covenant in his Grandpa Gardiner's family. My dad will have to wait for a little granddaughter. (As yet there are no granddaughters in the Brown side.) The Lord has truly blessed me with great men in my life who honor their priesthood. It is fitting I should be blessed with a son who can carry on this great heritage.

The Lord has truly blessed me. When I was about 3 months pregnant and sick with morning sickness, I asked Kent to give me a blessing. I was so concerned that the baby grow healthy and strong and whole of spirit mind, and body. (I prayed continually Forth is throughout my pregnancy). Kent invited Brother Tooley, a faithful, kind older man, to help administer to me. Kent said later that as he gave the blessing and said that the child would be born whole and healthy he felt an outpouring of the spirit that confirmed it to him that this was right). It was very sacred and afterwards Brother Tooley assured me he new everything would be all right.

One day as I was feeling physically blue and achy, I lay in bed and wept and begged the Lord to bless my unborn child. It amazed me how much love was welling up in my heart for this little guy. I realized how the Lord changes people gives them the gift of love, teaches them through the spirit, softens and mellows them. What a different girl I was now from when I was in high school. Throughout my pregnancy I worked in the temple and I often thought what a special baby this will be. I'm going to give him to the Lord, and in turn I know He will let me have him for eternity. It seemed could feel him move those early 6 months of the 2nd trimester in special sacred moments in the temple, or when I was with Kent. I prayed for an easy, anterior delivery that I could stay in control of with no undue misery or pain, and the Lord blessed me.

We have praying to save money for a home and we have been receiving quite a bit of money from different sources, and one unexpected break was that our insurance company paid all but $150.00 of our hospital bill. And of course my dad didn't charge us (we didn't think that we had our insurance long enough to pay for the bill). I realized the blessing in my patriarchal blessing and know joy and love for my son. I feel my testimony has grown,

and have seen the fulfillment of the verse in 3 Nephi 18:21"And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name which is right, believing ye shall receive, behold it shall be given to you." We are indebted to the Lord.

Kent brought me a poem by Carol Lyn Pearson called "Investment". As she describes the birth of her child and says that which is easily got is soon forgot but that which is dearly paid for is dearly kept. I now understand what the Lord meant when He spoke to Adam and Eve. He was telling them lovingly, kindly, what the consequences of their action (partaking of the fruit) were, and telling them the blessings that would come from opposition. Just as locomotion needs friction for movement, and muscles need work for growth.

When Chad was only 2 weeks old he began to smile not in response to something I or Kent did, but when he "saw an angel" dropping off to sleep on a full tummy. He is so very precious, a joy to care for. I lay awake one night talking with the Lord and pleading with him to bless my dear son with health, strength, protection and righteousness, and to have compassion on his parents and teach us how to care for him. I cried in my earnestness. As I drew near to my Father in spirit, I was struck with the realization that he was Heavenly Father's son first and that He loved little Chad more than I possibly could in this earth life. If I gave Chad to Him in this life, He would let me have him for an eternity. I was overwhelmed as I pondered how the Father could let his Firstborn Son suffer, atone and die for the world. He did it I know because he loved His Son. I guess there will be times when I shall have to watch Chad suffer as he grows through life. I hope I can have the strength to bear it.

When Chad was 4 1/2 weeks old I took him to M.I.A. with me and shared the experience of his birth with the young girls. I told them how joyous it was to be a copartner with God, how the lord had blessed me and that it was worth far more than the pain of giving birth.

First Months of Life

Dad: May 23, 1976  Chad held his head up on his own.

Suzanne: Chad is 6 1/2 weeks old. We took him to the temple today to show the lovely people I worked with there before he was born. He was very reverent and of course all were delighted to see and hold him. Brother Gabasa, the temple recorder contributed to his missionary fund. Everyone commented on how beautiful, darling and precious he is. Kent and I agree, but we like to hear it from others. When Pres Godfrey came over and talked softly to him, Chad held out his arms and looked and looked at him, cooing, smiling, and gurgling. Pres. Godfrey is a very kind and Christ-like and loving man, soft spoken, white haired, and very much like Pres. David O. Mckay. I remembered that Heavenly Father has white hair and is full of love. Chad seemed content. The temple is such a spiritual place. I'm sure some of the finest spirits in the sprit world dwell at the sights of temples since the spirit world is right here on earth. Once, as I sat in the temple I felt impressed that the spirit world was right here, that there are spirits busy at work all around us and if we were spiritually pure enough in heart the veil could taken from our eyes and we'd see them. I had just finished reading "Temples of the Most High" compiled by Ludlow. I'd like to see my home as holy as the temple.

Last night at Mutual I went with the laurel and Mia Maid classes to Griffith Park. It was interesting, but I missed my "men" (Kent and Chad). I couldn't wait to get home to them.

Chad will be little such a short time. Just a drop in time; then he'll have a son of his own someday. I must remember to enjoy every minute with him. It seems like only yesterday I remember rolling off the couch and toddling down the hall of the Elmcrest house after my daddy changed my diapers.

Dad: June 23, 1876, This afternoon we took Chad to the temple.  We showed our 25", 11 pound 7 ounce baby off to the temple workers that Suzanne had worked with before Chad.  I was impressed at how alive and alert he was.  He would smile at each worker and especially at president Godfry who is a kind, gentle, Christ-like member of the temple presidency!

Chad's Blessing

Mom: July 4, 1976, Today is a very special day...not only because

it is the bicentennial celebration of our country, but also because today Chad was blessed in Fast and Testimony Meeting. We had spent all week fixing up the apartment and our new car ('74 Plymouth valiant) for the event. We didn't have time to paint the car, but we cleaned up the interior, and redid our stereo speakers, bought a tablecloth, recovered our food storage with rosewood Formica and did some other interior decorating, including a good clean all over the place. I must say we were quite proud of our humble little apartment on Hill Street in Santa Monica by the time we were done. We had just finished canning 28 quarts of apricots and made 21 cups of jam. While I was cleaning, I became quite frustrated because Chad was eating so frequently and taking some time. Then I realized how disordered my priorities were. Here I was getting things ready for an event in honor of HIM and I was frustrated when he needed some attention.

I got up early Sunday morning to put finishing touches on everything and get ready. Just as we were ready to go Chad's plastic pants leaked and Chad's cute little outfit and booties got messy, my outfit got all messy, and Kent got messy carrying Chad in to cleanup. It was a bright yellow, mustard colored, mess on everything. Kent picked out for him a blue and green striped stretch suit he likes, that Chad's grandma Brown bought for him. She says that it looks like prison garb.

A quick change later we snuck into church a bit late. It was the bicentennial program, which was a lovely short history in narration and song about this great land's history. Kent had told everyone in our families that Fast and Testimony meeting started at 10:30. Unfortunately the Sunday School Program ended at 10:05. Kent explained the situation to the bishopric and Craig Yeates, the first counselor conducting called on Bishop Schiess to speak. He wasn't supposed so speak till later, but fortunately he obligingly took about 20 minutes until our families got here.

Those Kent asked to stand in the circle were:

James Gardiner, grandfather

James Brown, grandfather

Mark Gardiner, uncle

John Reese, uncle

Tim Hester, home teacher

Bishop Schiess

Rajesh Sewak, executive clerk

Some of the things Kent blessed him.

He would know right from wrong.

He'd feel whisperings of the Spirit.

He'd follow the path set for him.

He'd take comfort in the counsel of the leaders of the church

and seek it.

He'd honor the priesthood.

Kent said he felt filled with the Spirit of the Lord and that it confirmed what he said. When Kent held him up he smiled at everyone and they laughed. Our hoe teacher and my dad both insisted Chad was looking at THEM during the blessing.

The bearing of testimonies was choice many people natives of different lands bearing thanks to the Lord for their blessings, this nation, the church, and especially Joseph Smith. My father bore his testimony said he appreciated the spirit that was present. He said that he had the great privilege of being Suzanne Gardiner's father, and what an honor that was, and how grateful he was to the Gardiners for raising a son worthy of his daughter. Then he admitted that he knew he was clearly prejudiced. He was very proud of Kent, however. He thanked the ward for taking us in. He bore his testimony to the truthfulness of the gospel, then said how much he loved his children and wanted them to know ho much he loved their mother. Kent also bore his testimony to the truthfulness of the gospel and church; and told what an honor it was to be Chad's father and hold the priesthood.

Afterwards both families including Kent's uncle Frank and a date and our home teacher and his wife came to the apartment for a buffet luncheon. It was lovely...had sandwiches, salad, and home made strawberry ice cream. That evening Kent, Chad and I drove around and looked at fireworks.

Kent picked out the name Chad's a name he's always liked and wanted to name his first son. Since he's the patriarch and father, I let him choose the first name and I chose the second one Aaron. I picked a name from the scriptures because I want my son to learn to love the scriptures and word of the Lord and to identify with them. May he be a great missionary and teacher of the gospel like Aaron, the son of King Mosiah, and a spokesman for the Lord, speaking the words of the prophet like Aaron, the brother of Moses. And may he become the son of Moses and Aaron, the seed of Abraham, as he honors his priesthood. From Chad I hope he thinks of Chastity and Charity, and his English heritage.

I hope dear little Chad and our other precious unborn children will be charitable with Kent and I as we bungle and grow in parenthood.  Chad, like all babies, looks towards light. I often wonder if it's because they just came from a place of Light. Sometimes I whisper in his ear and ask him if he's looking for his Heavenly Father. He smiles and gurgles, coos and even squeals. He looks right at you and tries to coo and talk. When he smiles, he has dimples.

Dad: July 4, 1976, I blessed Chad at 10:35.  He was dressed in a striped suit.  I had a wonderful outpouring of the spirit as I stood in the circle with Dad, Mark, John Reese, James Brown, Tim Hester, Fred Anderson and Bishop Schiess!

I gave him his name and blessed him that he would know good from evil, that he would be able to hear the whisperings of the Holy Ghost, that he would know honor the priesthood, uphold the church leaders and thereby have joy, peace and contentment.  The spirit confirmed the words spoken, I held him up for the audience to see and he smiled which made the audience laugh.  It was a wonderful thing to happen.

3 Months Old

July 31, 1976 (Saturday) Chad is nearly 3 months old. It seems incredible how time flies. We took Chad to school last Thursday when Kent's Summer school kids shot off their rockets. Everyone adored Chad. Even though it was hot and it upset his schedule he was pretty complacent. He cried a little when the rockets went off and everyone roared or clapped.

Yesterday I gave Chad a bath. The water was much warmer than usual, and Chad, frightened, began to cry out. But when I talked to him he was reassured and soothed to hear my voice and feel my hands. I am humbled by his trustfulness and adoration. I hope to yet live worthy of it and being his mother.

He is most responsive laughing, smiling, cooing, and gurgling. He likes to try to sit up (we hold him) watch and listen to his musical mobile, sits in his swing (Kent bout an automatic infant swing at a thrift shop for $1.50 when we were looking for a home in Van Nuys). And of course he likes to nurse, be held and talked to. I've started him now on solids in the evenings (cereal and fruit) and will begin next week in the morning also.

I truly find joy in my son. I think I shall teach my son to seek after his own divine mission (as I should each of my future children) and not to necessarily "identify" with an individual in the scriptures. Rather he should learn from the experiences of individuals and personalities in the scriptures, and strive to develop virtuous qualities like unto many of them. The thing that most impresses me is the need to enjoy the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, and to know that the Lord is pleased with one's course in life.

At the present, Kent and I are hoping to buy our first home soon. We feel we should buy a home in "the Valley" (San Fernando Valley) around Reseda, and are praying for guidance and paying our tithing, fasting, trying to keep the Sabbath Day Holy, etc. I confess that we like to watch Ellery Queen, or the Sunday Night Mystery Movie. I hope that is not considered breaking the Sabbath.

Just recently, at 4 1/2 months Kent sat Chad on his tummy and  began singing to him: "You are my destiny, you mean everything to me..." Chad began chuckling. It was so cute we got it on tape.

Suzanne: August 8, 1976, Last Monday (Aug 2) Chad had his 3 month check up and first immunization shot. He's 26 inches and 14 lbs 4 oz. His DPT shot was for diphtheria, whooping cough, and tetanus; he also got polio (Salk's) vaccine given to him orally. He didn't like his hot, and later he didn't feel well and was quite irascible. We sure love that boy. He has my smile (dimples and all) and Kent's eyes and forehead. He loves to try and sit up (someone has to hold him to hop him keep balance) and try and stand on his feet and talk. He can coo and gurgle and really be sociable. He giggles and looks real coy at times too. His delightful personality is beginning to come out more. I just started him on solids fruit and cereal and juice with vitamin C. Will have to get some cod liver oil for Vitamin D. He takes his cereal without much enthusiasm but makes faces at his fruit(tm)think I'll dilute it with milk. He scrunched up his nose at his juice but then later took to it real well.

Today I gave a 2 1/2 minute talk on the importance of Daily Repentance...I said Repentance was like rinsing out diapers. When we first brought Chad home from the hospital, I was exhausted, and ready for a good sleep when lo and behold, Chad woke up every 2 hours and wanted to be eat. Well, I stumbled into his bedroom to change his diapers (and he always had messy ones) and I thought "Oh, I'm too tired to go rinse this out...I'll wait and rinse it out in the morning." Well when morning came around I had a HUGE

pile of dirty diapers to rinse out and you can imagine how I wished I had rinsed each one immediately rather than letting them stack up. Repentance is like that needs to be done all the time. It's like doing dishes, mowing the lawn, putting gas in the car(tm)it's a constant, ongoing task. You can't put it off. Repentance isn't like writing a term paper, taking a class, getting married or going on a missions something you only do once and forget about. It's something that needs to be done over and over again. Nothing will bring you more  personal joy and happiness, bring you closer to the Spirit of the Lord, and better prepare you to meet your maker, and make you more enjoyable to be around then this principle of daily repentance.

Faye Dunlop came up to me and said "you're married to a real prince of a guy. I told her I though so too. She then told me how last night at Inventory she got to work with Kent. She was real tired but didn't say anything Kent went and got a chair for her to sit in. He had worked all day chopping down a tree, then went to do Inventory at a store for the ward budget from 5 pm to 12:30 am. I appreciate this thoughtfulness, even gallantry, in my husband as well as his dedication to doing the Lord's work.

Mom: August 22, 1976, Chad 3 1/2 months old, is already trying to stand up. He gets real excited and proud of himself when he can support his weight on his legs. We are a little concerned about there being too much pressure on his tiny little legs but he gets SO" excited and it's cute to watch. We're trying to be careful though.

This afternoon I didn't hear anything no sound at all from the bedroom where Kent had taken a bottle in to feed Chad. I decided to peek in and check on them. There they both were sprawled out on the bed side by side Kent propping the bottle up in Chad's mouth, sound asleep. It was precious.

Last week a bid we placed on a house was accepted and it is now in escrow. Friday the 13th of August Kent and I debated whether or not we should go looking for homes that afternoon. We had been looking for the past four weeks and were discouraged. Then we found a broker in real estate we liked and trusted Bruce Bell, a former high councilman and now a Bishop's counselor in Chatsworth Stake. He had a soft sell, low key approach, was honest, patient, and very helpful. We wanted to live in San Fernando Valley in a house, our first one, because it was convenient for Kent's work (at UCLA University Elementary School); it was in an area, which appreciates in value rapidly; it was close to Cal State Northridge in case Kent wanted to take some administration classes. Houses were appreciating faster than money earns interest in a bank, and the prophet said that everyone should work toward home ownership. We also knew that it was a better environment to raise our family in than the apartments we had been living in Santa Monica.

We had been looking in Reseda/Encino Park area but couldn't find anything we like that we could afford. Or if we did find something it was sold already. Bruce told us to look in Panorama City. His folks had lived there and he was impressed with the area. I fell in love with the homes around Kaiser Hospital on Woodman Ave. There were tree lined streets, children riding their bikes and playing ball, parents working in the yard...it seemed a nice place to raise a family. We weren't planning to stay very long perhaps a year or two before moving on to Walnut or some other school district. Se we wanted a home that would appreciate quickly. Reseda and Encino Park seemed to be doing that more than Panorama City, so we turned our backs. I couldn't get that area out of my heart though, and I told Bruce to keep looking there anyway. He seemed to feel strongly that it would be a nice place for us. We prayed and continued to look in Reseda and wondered why we were having no success. We told the Lord we would serve him where he wanted us. When Kent had his PPI with the stake president (Pres. Iba), he said to find a good house in a good neighborhood.

Well, that Friday, we called Bruce, tired and with plans to attend the temple in the evening. He said that he had a view houses for us to see that he though were pretty nice. We reluctantly went out saw a few homes in Reseda, but weren't excited. Then he took us to a green and white stucco house in Panorama City14172 Osborne Street. A two bedroom, one bath, two car garage, cinder block wall in back, fruit trees (apricot, peach, orange, lemon, olive) and a garden. It was very well kept up, well made in the 1950's and owned by an elderly German couple. It had a nice feel to it. Kent walked around the corner talked it over, bowed our heads in a quick prayer, felt good about it, and so told Bruce to make an offer. Now we have just learned that they have accepted our offer. We have saved almost $10,000 for a down payment and we feel that if it is right that everything will fall into place.

Chad's First Big Trip

Mom: "•September 9, 1976, For our Summer Vacation we went down to San Diego to visit Kent's friend Richard Watson, and Kent's sister Sandra Blunck. That was Chad's first big trip. He stayed awake most of the way. That first night at Richard's I made a bed for him in the suitcase but he ended up in bed with us. Funny how a little tyke like him can hog up the whole bed.

Dad: September 25, 1976, Chad is growing very fast!  He loved to stand up.  He is cheerful, enjoys talking to people.  He still likes to eat a couple of times at night, which is hard on Suzanne.

Early Sounds

Dad: November 8, 1976, Chad began talking tonight.  He is six months old.  He was "cooing"  and "boohooing" while Suzanne was trying to watch "Gone with the Wind."  He loves his Johnny Jump Up, to look at people and to smile with his entire body.  A beautiful boy  blue eyes, blonde fuzzy, big and tall!

Dad: January 2, 1977, Today Chad stood in his crib for the first time.  It seems as though he learns something new each day: crawl, stand. laugh, smile, and gurgle.

Dad: Feb 27, 1977, Suzanne was so tired and worn out that she didn't see Chad fall and just caught him as he dove headfirst toward the floor.

Dad: Easter, April 10, 1977, About two weeks ago I accidentally locked myself out of the house and Chad was inside crying. I was really worried that he might hurt himself.  I tried to get into the house through windows, doors and any other way.  It was no use and he kept on screaming.  In utter desperation I finally tore the lock off of the garage door.  It made me think how terrible it would be to be separated from those we love.

One Year Old

Dad: May 8, 1977 Chad is one year old!  He walks between objects,

laughs, smiles and has pink eye.

Chad Goes Wild

Dad: Christmas 1977, This was without a doubt the worst Christmas of my life. 

The Wednesday before Christmas Chad threw up.  Then he threw up for three days.  He also had diarrhea.  We called Suzanne's Dad who gave us advice.  We followed it but it didn't work.  When he threw up he also lost all his digestive juices and without them the stomach expels all food.  He lost much fluid and nourishment from his body.  Then he began to dehydrate!  This was very dangerous.  We began to really get worried about our son.

Every time we gave him a drink he would throw up or get diarrhea again.

In this state he would cry all the time and 10 minutes out of each hour of sheer exhaustion he would lie down and remain very quiet, with his eyes half open and rolling back in his head as if very tired.  He was tired, dead tired.

On Saturday night after 4 days of this I told Suzanne to go to her parents Christmas eve party as there was no need for both of us to suffer.  That night, was the worst, Chad cried for 4 hours straight.  I thought that I was going crazy. 

I was in a terrible a state of mind, so tired and overwrought, I thought I might hit him so I put him in his crib and closed the door, he was so delirious that he threw himself headfirst out of the crib.  Fortunately I had put the cushions there and he didn't hurt himself.

On Christmas morning Suzanne's dad came over.  He had talked to a

pediatrician who said to starve him and administer Pedialyte in small doses, 34 teaspoons every 15 minutes for 24 hours.  This would rest his system, they said.

He went CRAZY for the mixture.  Because he was so thirsty he wanted a lot of the mixture.  He would cry and try to grab more.

He went into the bathroom, turned on the faucet and tried to drink from it.  He would cry loudly when he saw a cup and clawed at the kitchen sink because he knew there was water there. He even tried to get water out of the toilet. 

The next morning after only 3 hours sleep he finally took soup and water  then went to sleep.  He slept for 4 hours up 1 and 1/2 hours and then down for 18 hours  he was tired.  So were we.

Today he is back to normal!  He threw salt all over the kitchen!  Love to see that!  His grandparents gave him a Fisher Price horse, which he loves!  What a joy to see our boy back!

1/2

Mom: I remember when Chad was so sick with the flu for 2 weeks during Christmas when he was only 18 months old. He was delirious and it was such a nightmare for us. We became zombies hearing him scream and run through the house trying to drink from faucets, dirty dishes, etc. I really leaned on Kent's strength at the time I was 8 months pregnant with Rachel too. Kent change

Chad, fed him, sat with him all night so I could sleep. Chad has grown into such a delightful boy now (writing this three years later)so smart, obedient, generally kind and helpful, very gregarious and curious about the world, competitive in nature. He is big for his age, and has his moments of extreme emotional needs, but is open and malleable.

New Roommate

Dad: January 24, 1878 Chad has a sister, Rachel Ann Gardiner.  We took pictures of Chad's response when we brought him his sister.  Having a sister to share the attention takes some getting used to.

Blood stained face.

When Rachel was about 9 days old (I think it was on Feb 2, my birthday), Grandma Gardiner came out to watch the children for me so that I could go to the temple to see Bob and Judy Garcia get sealed. I was going to meet Kent down there after work. It was pretty hectic trying to get everything ready on my own. I pushed Chad outside in the back yard to play so that I could nurse Rachel and he came back in a few minutes later screaming with blood pouring down his face. He had fallen from the porch and split his head open. I was near tears with guilt and frustration, and wondered if I shouldn't go. But he survived and it was a beautiful experience for me to attend the sealing session. I held little baby Eddie up to the altar during the sealing of the children to the parents. We had fellowshipped the Garcias ever since they joined the church, and Kent taught them in temple

preparation classes. They watched Chad for us when we went to the hospital to have Rachel, and later sold us the bunk beds.

Recovering after Rachel's birth

Feb 23, 1978I - write in my journal at night after Chad goes to bed, and read my scriptures in the morning while I nurse Rachel. It rained all day today. I sent Chad to Relief Society with Laurel Storrs while I lay in bed writing thank you notes for Rachel's baby gifts. I'm not up yet for taking Rachel out to R. S. yet especially in this weather and on so little sleep. I'll be glad when her colic is over and she doesn't keep me up 'till midnight. She is a beautiful baby though a pleasure to watch and care for. Very good natured for all her gas pains and Chad's vigorous and rough

attention.

Chad helped me with the dishes and poured water on the floor and dropped several dishes too. He's still just a baby, not quite two years old, but I feel so cranky and impatient with him on so little sleep. For over a month now since Rachel's birth I've shoved him off on his daddy and everyone else to get rest and my sanity back and the house in order. Before we were the best of friends; now he has turned away from me to his daddy. He is a bit jealous of the baby (hits her) and I'm sure he suspects that she is the cause of his misery and my meanness. I feel very badly about it, and miss that special closeness that we used to have.

Chad adjusts to having a sister

March 2, 1978 - It rained last 2 days, so I kept Chad in. I'm trying to spend more time with him "reading" books, etc, to make up for all the time I have to spend with the baby. He seems to understand when I say "NO" firmly when he wants to be held while I'm fixing dinner. Lately he likes to crawl and sit on me and poke me in the face while saying "eyes, ears, nose, mouth," etc. Today he threw his bottle at me (because I didn't want to fill it again) and hit me in the face. I confess to finding motherhood to two small children who need or want my attention most of their waking hours to being somewhat overwhelming. I sure miss a little privacy. I'm going to ask Kent to put up a little gate across the bedroom door so that I can occasionally read or rest or write or sew by myself, or just nurse Rachel and not be mauled by Chad. This is going to be hard on Chad I know.

March 5, 1978 Sunday - This weekend was Stake Conference and our visitor was Elder A. Theodore Tuttle. Kent gave a talk in the Saturday evening session and we visited with Elder Tuttle for a few minutes afterwards. He saw Rachel (thought she was beautiful, of course) and asked if she was our first aid that we ought to have a dozen of them.

The gate has worked well it gives me time alone with Rachel and

Chad can still see me and talk to me. He is a delightful beautiful child sweet natured, with a desire to please and be obedient and affectionate. He loves to hug both Kent and I at the same time and kiss us. He likes books of animals best of all and can say what all the animals say: "woof, woof, meow, haw hee, cockdododo, oink oink, etc. While Rachel is a beautiful dark baby, Chad is blond and blue eyed. The Lord has sent me choice spirits. I hope that I shall properly teach them by my example and precept. I see now why my dad said, "Can we ever be worthy to be parents?" My greatest desire is to always have my children  spiritually, emotionally, and physically safe, true, and bonded to me. My family is my joy and my wealth.

Mom: Monday March 6, 1978, Rachel and I went in for our six-week checkup. She'd grown 2 1/2 inches and 2 1/2 pounds. That night Kent gave the Family Home Evening Lesson at my folks on Infant Blessing, and Rachel slept the whole time in her infant seat in the middle of the room with everyone sitting around her. Chad kept moving a little chair around to various spots and sitting in it.

Friday May 5, 1978 - I watched Jeremy and Brenda Pryor (ages 4 and 2 1/2 years) for four hours during the morning so their parents could attend a job

interview. Chad loved it had some difficulty handling sharing

toys however (he wanted to ride their toys, a little tractor and

motorcycle).

Chad is 2 years old!

May 6, 1978 Saturday - Today was a special day for Chad. It began for him with helping  his daddy paint his Aunt Janice and Uncle Mike's house while I cleaned up our home and went shopping. Then we had sandwiches, visited with Brother Steve Adams (2nd Counselor in the Bishopric) who came by for his tools that he had loaned Kent to dig up the driveway. At 2:00pm guests arrived for Chad's Birthday party. I put streamers and balloons over the door, on the bookcase, around the table. As the children came in I gave each a hat and a blow toy. The guests were:

1. Becky Garcia (1 1/2 years) she gave him a pair of size 3 rust-colored pants and a Tigger and Winnie the Pooh. She is the daughter of Robert and Judy Garcia. 2&3. Jeremy (4 years) and Brenda (2 1/2 years) Pryor, children of O. Tom and Barbara Pryor. They gave him a plastic dump truck, sand bucket and shovel. 4. Andy Gerschler (2 1/2 years) son of Bruce and Lucille Gerschler who gave him a book about Panda's.5&6. Rebecca (1 1/2 years) and Kaylee (2 1/2 years) McManus, daughters of Bill and Kandie McManus, who gave him a plastic baseball and bat. All of the children' families attend the Panorama City Ward in Van Nuys Stake with us.

We played a little "Ring around the Rosie" and "London Bridge is Falling Down". Chad was excited to have the children around and would rather ride his "horsey" or run about than play games. It was difficult to organize these little children into games. I soon gave up and we opened Chad's presents under the Mulberry tree. Some of the children wanted open the presents for him. In fact, I had a hard time convincing Kaylee that the presents were for Chad, not her. Then we had refreshments. We set the card table outside on the porch. That was a smart move as there were many spills and messes. I put some jelly-beans on first and went back into the kitchen for cupcakes and punch and asked Kent to scoop up some ice cream and when I came back the children were all sitting up at the table devouring jelly beans. We put a candle in each cupcake and lit it, letting the children blow out their own candle. It was so cute to watch them all try. Chad blew his out on the fourth or fifth try with coaching from me. In all the excitement and distractions we forgot to sing "Happy Birthday" to Chad. All the children ate the jellybeans off the cupcakes first. Chad then stuck his fingers in the top of his, poking holes, then swished his fingers in his punch (lime Kool-Aid) and wiped them on his shirt. He wasn't very hungry and soon jumped down to play with his toys. The other children soon did too. They ran around, playing with toys and sitting in the dirt. Chad affectionately patted a few girls on the head with his new plastic shovel.

When the mothers came I sent home cupcakes for the other children in the family. Lucille Gerschler stayed during the party to help and be with her son Andy, who was bashful and didn't want to participate. After everyone left, I ran some cupcakes over to the children in the Esparza's family across the street. Their little girl had her first communion today (they are a Mexican Catholic family) so there were many relatives and friends over there. Rachel and I then took a nap while Chad helped his Daddy in the yard and garage. Then we had dinner, cleaned up the house for Sunday, had baths, filled the car with gas, watched the Muppet Show (a puppet Variety Show) and went to bed.

Rachel had a hard time today, didn't eat or sleep much, fussed a bit during the party. I think she had a stomach ache from the Similac formula I gave her the night before during "Know Your Religion". I will try Enfamil next time. She wore a red and white 6-month bubble suit from her Aunt Sandy, and sat in her infant seat on the dining room table looking out of the sliding glass doors at the party. She is very responsive and is generally quite content just to be around people when awake.

Angela is Born

Sunday May 7, 1978 - This evening Laurel Storrs and I went to visit Glenna Rae White in St. Joseph's hospital. She just had a little girl Angel Rae-this morning. I brought flowers (camellias from the bushes in front of our bedroom window) and cookies, cupcakes, and party favors for her son, who was sick and couldn't come to Chad's party. Glenna Rae has a son Chris, just a few months younger than Chad, and a new daughter Angela, just 3 1/2 months younger than Rachel. She is approximately my age (will be 24 in July while I just turned 23), and is one of six children like me. Her father is Dr. Glenn H. Walker, heart surgeon. We have so much in common, are so much alike. She is now my best friend. Her husband Jim, is relaxed and easygoing like Kent. They moved into the ward shortly before Rachel was born, and we had them over for Pecan Pie to celebrate my birthday when Rachel was just two weeks old.

Monday May 8, 1978 - Today I did the wash and vacuuming in the morning. Rachel wanted some company so I brought her in the bathroom with me while I hand washed some clothes. Chad jumped around, showing off and talking to her, trying to play and share his cars with her. I did the vacuuming a little late and pushed the kids on their lunch. Chad especially got hungry. Rachel couldn't relax and eat cried when I tried to feed her. So, I gave her a little Enfamil in a bottle. I did the same thing Sunday in fast meeting with her under similar circumstances. Seems to be a little gassy period for her. Both times she took to the bottle, relaxed, and then was able to nurse. I'm glad she seems able to take the bottle and formula (easier to leave her occasionally with someone). Chad went through a period at 35 months where he couldn't nurse at certain times during the day but could take a bottle.

When I finally got the children down, I baked some cookies, picked a rose for in our front room, and wrote about yesterday in my journal. Read 3 Nephi 17 & 18 in the morning, all about beautiful prayer. I cleaned up the bedroom and folded clothes and made dinner while Kent and Chad planted some more vegetables in the garden and made ice cream. We had pizza and ice cream for Chad's birthday and sang to him for Family Home Evening. Gave Chad a bath and cleaned up the kitchen with help from Kent. We are working on our personal histories for Family Home Evening. I love my children. Sweet natured, fair Chad is more precious to me than life. A good natured, obedient child, loveable and loving, a perfect first child. My darling golden boy, my precious son. I hope to live worthy of the challenge to be your mother. I was just a little girl myself not so long ago, and I'm afraid that I must do all of my learning to mother and be unselfish on you, my firstborn. Be charitable with me, I change slowly.

Two Years Old

Dad: July 1978 Chad is large for his age.  He laughs a lot and is quite aggressive in his dealings with others.  He still throws some temper tantrums but this is fading out.  He used to hit his head on a wall or the floor  ouch.

Weaning Rachel

Mom: July 9, 1978 Sunday, Rachel was tired and fussy and could not go to sleep. I looked high and low for the pacifier and couldn't find it. The more I searched and the more she fussed, the more it became an obsession to find it. I swore, cried, and prayed. Finally I gave up, patted her bottom a few minutes, and she went to sleep.

I was just beginning to really enjoy nursing Rachel when at 5 1/2 months I had to wean her so that Kent and I could spend 11 days in Hawaii in August. He taught an extension course with Madeline Hunter at the University of Hawaii. We left Chad and Rachel at Grandma Gardiners while we were gone. Grandma adored baby Rachel, who by this time was a very good baby. But Chad, who was only 2  1/4 really missed us, and told Grandma soon after we left that he was just going to wait for us to come and get him. And he sat on the steps in the back for hours at a time waiting for us. While we were away, we missed the children, and it was good to get back home again. But Chad ignored us for a while. I think he felt that we had rejected him. Grandma Gardiner has always had a soft spot for Rachel.

A few weeks after we got back from Hawaii, we took the children to Utah for a Gardiner Reunion in Salt Lake. Pretty dark haired Rachel was teething and drooled over everything. She constantly sucked on her fingers, was interested in 1 1/2 year old Lisa Gardiner, and of course, captured everyone's heart.

Mom: Fall 1978, Rachel is very good-natured, and reminds me of a little brown, round, chortling imp. She loves to crawl out on the porch and stand up holding onto the metal poles that hold up the awning. She also follows Chad around the house and yard. She tugs on my pant leg and whines when she wants my attention. The time goes by so quickly.

Dad: Christmas 1978, Dear Chad, You had a cold and cough for much of the Christmas vacation but generally enjoyed it.  You learned who Santa Claus is and whenever you saw his picture or likeness called out "Santa Claus."  You enjoy candy, ice cream, and Sesame street, small Fisher Price people that you can hold in your hands.  You are large for your age, blue eyes, and blonde hair.  We recently took you to the zoo where you saw all of the animals that so often you talk about.  You were particularly interested in the Hippo as it is the animal that you are always talking about!  You are 39" tall and weigh 34 pounds in a blanket sleeper.  you talk a lot and before we couldn't understand much of what you said, now you are very understandable.  For Christmas you got trucks, clothes, a fireman's hat and some Fisher Price Sesame Street people.  For exercise you enjoy riding your tricycle around the block and dearly love playing on the playground equipment at the park.

The Joys of Parenthood

Tuesday Feb 28, 1979 - I was trying to get Rachel into bed and feed Chad so I could watch Dick Cavett interview Jacques Cousteau on his Talk Show on KCET. Rachel was screaming, and Chad was drinking Rachel's bottle and wetting his training pants. I was counting the minutes until Chad's naptime and I knocked over Rachel's empty bottle that clattered to the floor. Chad, obviously copying my authoritative voice, orders: "Pick it up, Mommy. Right Now, or get a spanking and go to your bedroom." After I picked it up, he came over to my chair and said, "That's a good boy, Mommy." I chuckled and called him a "funny honey". He said, "No, you a funny honey". I blew him a kiss, and he pointed at my face, finger going clockwise around. "Black eyes and a red mouth.....beautiful!" he said approvingly. Then he pulled my head down and gave my nose a kiss and ran off singing,"A,B,C,D,,F,G,H,I, etc., unconsciously omitting E. I watched his tall blond body diminish in the distance and remembered not long ago when he could barely toddle into my arms, and I used to sing to him while I did the housework. I naively thought that I could never raise my voice or hand against him. He'd tug on my pant leg and whine and I'd sit cross-legged on the floor with him in my lap and sing to him. My breath would catch in my throat as I thought how dear he was to me. I'd hold him in the air and let him stand on my tummy. Now I do these things with Rachel. I feel a sense of loss for time gone, never to be recaptured. That moment was precious, and I wanted to hold it, keep it, breathe it in and make it a part of me forever.

Eat your heart out Dick, baby. My little boy will never point at your face and say, "Beautiful"....or "Good boy, Mommy", nor ever give your nose a kiss!

Chad and Rachel like to watch Captain Kangaroo at 8:30 in the morning followed by Sesame Street, then play or go for a walk around the neighborhood, Chad on his trike and Rachel in the stroller. Then at 11:00 Chad can watch Electric Company while I feed Rachel and put her down for a nap. I fix Chad a sandwich and try to watch the Dick Cavett show afterwards. It's not easy with these two little ones and serving as Young Women's President, but I try to remind myself that these are my golden days.

Three Years Old

Dad: June 25, 1979, Chad went to his grandparents today with me.  Julie, JT and Jeff were there as well as the Reese children Julie and Jennifer Chad on the way over said,  “Take me to the Grandpa's and then you go daddy.”  He enjoys being more on his own and enjoys exploring the house and the swing in the yard.

Chad has blue eyes, he has blonde hair and is big for his age.  he has two things that he is trying not to do  throw toys and hit Rachel.  He is getting better.  Chad enjoys, hugs and kisses, ice cream, popsicles, motor cycles, trucks, trains, fire trucks, mommy, daddy, grandma, grandpa, cousins, kids (especially),swings, Mc Donald's, helping daddy, going for rides to the store, having a story read to him.  Chad doesn't enjoy baths, spankings, going to bed, loud noises.   Chad is a lovely exciting active boy.  We love him.

Precious Boy

Suzanne: My dear son Chad How precious you are to your folks!  The greatest desire of my heart is for you to realize your divine potential as a son of God, and my continual prayer is how we, your parents, may help you.  God bless us that we may be worthy to always be a family together.  We learn so much in being your parents.  You raise us as much as we raise you.  Remember that you are our greatest treasure, and that our love and happiness rests with you.

Chad and Preschool

Mom: September 2, 1979 Sunday, I am looking into a Pre-School that meets 3x a week for 2 hours in the morning for Chad. It's just down at the park on Chase Street, just 2 blocks south of us. I think that it would be a good experience for him. His teacher will be "Miss Cindy". It is a Parent Coop. I believe that it will help to fill his mornings, give him the stimulation he needs and I can't provide, and get me out of the house and somewhat on a schedule. It is close enough that we can walk and I can push Rachel in the stroller, which she loves. He also starts Primary soon on Tuesday afternoons.

Today the children were both stung by yellow jackets that are making a nest in Chad's swing. And a week ago Friday Rachel ate some mushrooms growing in the backyard by the steps. I gave her two doses of Ipecac to get her to throw them up, then called my dad, the poison control, and the paramedics, who came by the house. I panicked, but she seemed fine after vomiting. Yesterday I caught her playing with some more! I'm going to have to be real careful from now on. All this can go in a chapter called "Bittersweet Joys of Parenthood".

We still don't have Chad bowel trained yet...It's almost time to work on Rachel. Maybe they can learn to be potty trained together.

We're trying to buy a house out in Saugus. Kent's aunt works for J. M. Brock and Sons building company. They're building a nice tract of homes just a block away from a new chapel the church is building too. We hope to get one with a larger yard for the children to play in. They'll build a park and recreation center with a pool too. Our friends the Whites, Stanleys, and Nelsons from our ward are moving there too. We feel like it's the right move and trust that the Lord will help everything fall into place for us. One important reason we want to move is so that we can get a larger home. Our little two-bedroom home here in Panorama City is too small, especially now that I am about 2 months along pregnant with #3 child. The baby will be due the first of April, 1980. I sort of hope that it will be a boy for Chad's sake. I got pregnant sooner that I expected, but I have resigned myself to the realization that it is the Lord's will for us to have this child.

Tetanus

Mom: Thursday Sept 6, 1979, I stepped on a rusty nail a few days ago (Sunday). It went through my shoe. I haven't had a tetanus shot for many years and since I'm two months pregnant, it would be unwise to have one at this time. I've been praying about it and am at peace concerning the matter.

Monday (Labor Day) we dropped Rachel off at Mom and Dad Browns and took Chad to Disneyland. Rachel was so cute...in order to leave her without having her be all upset I put her on a chair in front of my dad (who was talking on the phone to Brother Towse), gave my dad some marshmallows to cup in his hands, and snuck away with her grinning up at my dad and stuffing her mouth. She was real attached to him the whole day...followed him around, wanted to be held, let him feed her, put her down for a nap, get her up and change her diapers...I don't think my dad did anything else all day but I think also that he had the time of his life. When we got home my dad was holding her. When she heard my voice she called "Mae,Mae!" and held her arms out all excited to see me; but when dad left to meet a patient she wanted to follow him. My father is such a choice individual and has such tremendous understanding of the gospel hope my children do take after him. My mother, too. She is charming and gracious. As my dad looked at sweet little Rachel before he left, he wondered aloud how anyone could mistreat or not want a little child as precious as her.

Chad had a great time. I think he was a bit overwhelmed by it all though. He threw a few temper tantrums and didn't mind too well (typical for a 3 1/2-year-old) but generally had a great time. We took him on the Disneyland RR that circles the park. He liked it but the Primeval scene with the dinosaurs scared him. We got a picture of me holding him next to the engine and conductor. He saw the Dumbo parade with his daddy while I went on the Space Mountain roller coaster, then I took him to "It's a Small World" while Kent went on Space Mountain. Chad liked splashing in the water, but was frightened at the singing, dancing dolls. He sat on my lap the whole time and said he wanted out. He drank a big glass of Welch's, ate a whole foot-long hot dog and half a bag of Fritz. He went on the Carousel twice and liked it very much, the Dumbo elephant ride once (asked to go on that one loved it). He liked the storybook canal boat ride, the U-Drive Autopia (he went with Kent), a powered boat ride (I went with him). He didn't like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride at all too noisy and dark (he clung to me the whole time), or the Jungle Cruise (the animals scared him, he cowered in the bottom of the boat.) He liked the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House and the Enchanted Tiki Room until the Tiki Room noise got real loud and it went dark before thundering and lightening. He really liked going in the Fire Wagon and ringing the bell. He picked out a Donald Duck hat whose bill squeaks. And a red Mickey Mouse balloon. He also liked chocolate ice cream. On the way home he fell asleep and was too tired to eat dinner with the folks (grandma and grandpa). All pooped out. I gave him some milk when we got to our house and put him to bed. He was tired.

Tonight (Thursday the 6th), I threw up and my bladder went too. It came at the end of a grueling day in which I felt rotten the whole time. My heart hurt and my joints and muscles ached. I burst into tears at the humiliation and cried. But I believe all the pain is worth it to have this baby, who I know will be a blessing in our lives.

Mom: Monday October 22, 1979, Yesterday I went to visit my folks so my dad could give me a hormone and vitamin shot to pick me up some (been feeling hot flashes, emotional depressions). I am fortunate to have my father, the children's grandfather care for me and my children as they are born. He is a great man. Perhaps this child I am carrying will grow up to be like him.

Today I helped out at the Preschool coop that meets at the Park where I enrolled Chad. Lately Chad's been grinding his teeth and driving me nuts with it.

Christmas 1979

Mom: January 5, 1980 - Saturday, Chad has been doing well in Pre-school and Primary. In the ward Christmas Party he was a flower (sang "Hosanna" and "Jesus is Risen") and an angel (sang "Silent Night"). Sweet Sister Kellor is his Primary teacher. In Preschool Christmas program he was a wise man (sang "Away in a Manger") and a boy waiting for Santa Claus in his pajamas (sang "When Santa Claus Comes to Town"). Preschool in particular has been very beneficial for him in his self-esteem and feeling of competence, and ability to relate to others. He loves his teacher Cindy, enjoys the interaction with the other children, the toys, feelings of importance and grown-upness, and special-ness of having something of his own to belong to and attend. Something he can productively expend his energy in. He makes crafts and learns concepts (pre-reading skills) brings home school papers to show daddy, is learning to follow directions well, and relate to others. For his sake, it was an inspired move. I nearly dropped him out after Christmas because of all the petty fines and rules, but things have lightened up so I plan to keep him in until we move to our new home in Saugus this Spring.

1980

Dad: January 6, 1980 -  Chad is really growing up.  He attends pre(tm)school where he in the Christmas Program  he was a wise man.  He has also learned how to ride a big wheels cycle at preschool  we also gave him a Spiderman big wheels cycle for Christmas.

Chad can now dress himself except tying his own shoes.  He is a very enthusiastic boy with a mind of his own.  He is 42 inches tall, helps Rachel, likes Mc Donald's, going to preschool, going to Primary and Sunday School, candy, Fisher Price toys and his parents.

Chad has learned how to sing Christmas Carols such as Rudolph and Jungle Bells.  Over Christmas vacation we went to the zoo with the Browns and all enjoyed the animals and one another.

Dad: March 9, 1980, Chad is almost 4 years old.  He is still big for his age, with blond hair and fair complexion. He weighs 42 pounds and enjoys sunning and jumping.  He now goes to Sunday School and is very proud of his pictures and things that he brings home.

Today is day 1 of the new schedule with church all in one block.  Chad and Rachel will have to be "good" for three hours  all in one large block  a real chore.  Chad has taken a real interest in the Bible stories and in particular the story of Goliath and David!  He can tell a number of the stories from just seeing the picture.  He's a smart and extremely enthusiastic boy.  Over the last 6 months he has begun to exert his independence, which is slowly being developed into self-directedness.

Moving to Saugus

Mom: March 21, 1980 Friday, We did a little packing, got the children dressed and said prayers. Then Kent took them in his M.G. to McDonald's for breakfast before taking them over to his mom's to watch all day, night and part of Saturday while we moved into our brand new home on Hyssop Lane in Saugus. I went to McDonald's too, but drove through the car line instead of walking in with the family so that I could head on out to the new house and begin a day of cleaning while Kent was loading up the rented U-Haul. As I drove up I could see Rachel sitting on the counter waiting for the food with her daddy. She smiled and waved, then turned her head slightly looking off into the distance. I knew she and Chad were excited about going to McDonald's and Grandma and Grandpa Gardiner's but I'm sure they must have been marveling about all the commotion and unusual circumstances. We had talked to them about the  new house, move, etc., to prepare them, but I'm sure they really didn't understand, and everything must have seemed strange. I knew they would be happiest at their grandparents all day and then Kent and I could accomplish much more without them too. Still, my heart caught in my throat. They are so dear to me.

I cleaned and lay shelf paper all day. It was hard for me to move about being 9 months pregnant. I had prayed that the baby would not come until after we moved in. (I even threatened to have the baby in the sales office if they didn't hurry with the completion of our house.) Our friends the Whites and the Stanley's fed and helped us. Kent drove up in the evening with our furniture. We slept on the mattress on the floor, too tired to move anymore.

Mom: Saturday March 22, 1980, My folks and David came out early to finish helping us arrange things and were wonderful. Kent went to get the children in the afternoon. They were excited about the new house and had trouble going to sleep that night in their new beds and rooms. Rachel especially, who was used to sleeping in the same room with Chad.

Mom: Sunday March 23, 1980, We went back to Panorama City Ward to say goodbye to all our friends and give talks in church. We drove by the old green house on Osborne Street on the way home. It had been such  a pleasant peaceful, and sweet memorable place to live. Kent took a picture of it for our family records.

Kelly Ann Is Born

Mom: Monday March 24, 1980, This morning Jim and Glenna Rae called at different times to tell us they had a little baby girl (Kelly Ann) at 6:30am. Thinking about that made me feel that my baby would come soon. I was very anxious to get everything ready and out to my folks as soon as I could. I moved slowly until noon, when I organized the food cupboards with Rachel's help (which I received from that charming precocious little 2year old going on 22 with mixed feelings), washed and took care of clothes, went over the budget, got the baby things ready and packed to go to my folks. We got there after 7:30pm. Ate some of my mom's good homemade soup, bathed the children, and all went to

bed.

Eric Birth

Mom: Wednesday, March 26, 1980  - Today I went shopping with the children at Puente Hills Mall. We got daddy and grandpa presents as we planned to jointly celebrate their birthdays that evening at the Browns. We also got Rachel some everyday shoes (that ended up lasting all of three days she wore them out dragging her feet while riding her horsey). It was extremely exhausting going up and down escalators about 20 times, getting drinks, going to the potty...Chad threw himself down and bawled in Sears because I got Rachel shoes and not him...We went out the wrong exit on the wrong level and had to climb some stairs and walk half a mile (so it seemed to me) to get to the car. The children were hungry and thirsty and tired (and so was I) and Rachel fell asleep on the way to the Browns. I begged them to eat lunch quickly so we could all take naps. I slept on mom and dad's bed for a couple of hours but the children didn't sleep at all....in fact, Rachel poured out 2 bottles of my Escelsis make up all over my new robe, the rug, and a tray in the girls' room during "nap time".  When I got up the children "helped me" wrap birthday presents for daddy and grandpa and frost an angel food cake with jam and cream for their birthday celebrations. They had fun giving my dad his presents and were anxious for Kent to come so they could give him his. They carried them around the house until I took the one Rachel had away when she threw it over the banister. I found the one Chad had with the ribbon off and partially opened . 

I was bone tired and ached. It was hard to move around and I lay down frequently reading some short stories from a schoolbook of David's. Just after I finished the cake (about 5:15pm) and dad left to go perform proxy sealings at the temple (and while Chad watched Sesame Street), I called GlennaRae to find out how she was doing and give her my folks phone #. I also called Grandma Breiten about making me some pillows. Then I went to lie down again with David's book (Rachel came too). Mother came in to tell me that David called from dad's office (he cleans it on Wednesday) to say that Kent had called there after being unable to get in touch with me here because the phone was busy. He'd found out that they had poured the cement that day for our patio in the back so he was going to stay at the house and keep it wet. I was extremely disappointed not only because I had looked forward to seeing him and had planned a birthday party for him...but also because I had also begun to wonder if the baby might come that night.

I'd become increasingly aware of some light contractions coming more and more frequently and harder. I hoped they would stop if I rested (they didn't). I had told GR that I couldn't have the baby that night I was too tired and had too many things planned. I thought about dad at the temple 'till late and Kent not here, and nonessential things like the children's Easter Party and our Music Center tickets on Friday, and the Reed's sealing Saturday morning and prayed, "Please Lord, not 'till Saturday night." Then when I knew it wouldn't wait 'till Saturday, I changed it to...."how about after dad's sealing session and Kent gets here". But somehow the Lord has his way, through the birth of babies, of putting all things in life in their proper perspective of importance. I wondered how I would feel if Kent missed his birthday party AND the baby, but knew I would probably forgive him since he was just trying to take care of everything. We had almost a $1,000.00 invested in that cement, and as far as he knew, the baby wasn't coming 'till Saturday, the 29th, when it was due.

After 6:30 I went down to help mom get dinner on for the children and told her I didn't think I should eat since I had been having contractions. She said she had wondered if I were and suggested a second time that I call Kent. I knew that I should, but I hated to alarm him or get him out early then have to sit around waiting. While the children ate I packed a bag for the hospital. Mom tried to get dad at the temple and didn't get through once, and left a message the second time that he had an OB patient in labor and to call home immediately. She was hoping to catch him before the sealing session began otherwise he wouldn't be through until about 9:30pm. It was already after 7pm. When the children were through eating I began dressing them immediately for bed. Foremost in my mind was my concern and desire that they be taken care of and safe and happy. While mom read the children a story, I called Kent. I told him I was disappointed he hadn't come out for the birthday party and that I thought I was in labor and that he had better come out to my folks. I characteristically understated the situation, something I always do when I'm in labor. It's as if I no longer have the power to think about myself as my body, mind, and spirit prepare to give birth. Anyway

Kent got excited and said "Hey, I guess you're going to have a baby, huh?" and I said, "Well, sometime, not necessarily tonight..." He said he'd get people to water down the cement and leave in about 10 minutes.

After we said prayers, kissed the children and tucked them in bed, I asked mom to pack my Lamaze bag (something I had planned on doing but had put off) while I showered and changed my clothes. I couldn't believe how weepy I was feeling so sentimental about my oldest children, and frightened at the prospect of the coming baby. The tears rolled down my cheeks and I prayed silently and fervently while the warm water ran down my back and beat against my aching tummy. As I was dressing, my mom knocked on the door to say that my dad had called and had said that I should get over to the hospital immediately, and that he would meet me there. I looked in on my dear children sleeping so peacefully and loathed to awaken them by taking them with us, and have them become consternated and puzzled or upset about what was happening. I asked my mom if she knew of someone of her friends who could come and stay with the children so they could just stay asleep. She called Sister Joyce Osborne who said she would be right up. I called Kent again to tell him to just meet me at the hospital but he had already left the house. I waited in the car (for what seemed like an eternity while my mom went back into the house to get something and waiting for Sister Osborne to arrive. She finally came and mom and I left.

It was a long ride, but amazingly not as agonizing as I remembered past rides to the hospital. I felt very close to my mom during that night ride closer I think than I ever have. I knew she was nervous but was trying not to act like it. As we talked about her trips to the hospital to have my brothers and sisters and I different women leaders we have worked with in the church, and personality traits we found difficult or easy to work with, I realized how much alike we were, how much we had in common, and she seemed very dear to me especially at this moment.

My mother went in the "doctors and ambulance only" entrance, pulling right up to Lobby, rationalizing "Well, this is a doctor's car. I walked in while she got my bags. My dad was already there (thank heavens! I had prayed real hard for that) and he came immediately when paged. Maggie, the Dutch nurse, wheeled me in and prepped me. I was dilated to 6 centimeters already! I was surprised. Other than feeling weepy and a few hard contractions, it didn't seem possible that it would be so close to delivery. I turned my face to the wall and said another silent prayer, and felt a sweet peaceful and reassuring feeling or presence. I knew Heavenly Father was there and would help me that this was a very special spirit who wanted very much to be born. My other two labors and deliveries I had felt the need to have a blessing but I didn't feel it was necessary this time; I KNEW all would be well.

It was about 8:30 when I was officially admitted. At 8:45pm I began having a couple of very hard contractions, and had dilated to nearly 9. They put me in to the delivery room table. I kept expecting Kent to arrive but feared he would just miss it. Everything seemed a bit unreal (like it couldn't be happening to me) and up 'till then it had been easy to be distracted during labor. Now it felt good to push although my back ached somewhat. Dad said labor was too strong and fast for it to be a posterior birth like Rachel's (for which I was grateful). He could tell the cord was around the baby's neck and had the nurse put a fetal monitor on. The baby seemed to be all right but pushing and delivery seemed slow and agonizing. At first I had wanted to stall so Kent could see the birth but that lasted only a few minutes. Very quickly my one consuming interest became pushing the baby out and getting it over with. I soon got the knack of bearing down, and as soon as the head poked through, dad had HIM out. We were all elated: me, because I think I had secretly wanted a boy, and my dad, because he had delivered his own grandson on his own birthday March 26, 1980, Wednesday. Kent walked in not 5 minutes after Eric's birth, while they were cleaning me up. He took pictures of the baby and all of us.

As I lay on the table I thought: Well, he'll be Eric James (a name we had previously picked out): James after my dad (especially since he was born on my dad's birthday) and Kent's\dad; Eric for his own individuality and as a name Kent and I both liked. I knew an outstanding LDS boy and student body president named Eric Bladh. But as soon as Kent walked in he said, "Oh, well I guess this is Seth Thomas". He had been reading in the scriptures about Seth and had been deeply impressed with it and decided he'd like to name his boy that. We didn't make a final decision until the day Eric and I were released, and as you can see, I won, and Eric James it is! Although the clerk misspelled James and Gardiner, I'm glad we decided upon Eric James. Maybe Eric can grow up like Seth did and follow his father's righteous footsteps.

As they were taking me to my room my dad marveled at how blessed he'd been in his life. He said that he'd wondered if the baby would be born on his birthday and thought that it would be nice, but didn't really yearn or hope for it. He said that it had to be some kind of first a man delivering his own grandson on his own birthday.....Later before I was released from the hospital and he came by to see me, fill out the forms, and do Eric's circumcision, he stood at the foot of the bed, leaned on the rail and beamed, "Now, you're really rich, aren't you?", referring to my now three precious children. I remembered how he would always introduce us to visitors as his "wealth". My father always treasures the things the Lord does.

I got a private room in the hospital, hopeful that insurance would pay for it (it did). It was well worth it for all the rest I got. The night before I came home I got 7 hours uninterrupted sleep. I never watched TV...read some short stories, started sections of my journal, napped every chance I could.

Kent brought the children for me to see. I sure missed them, especially little Rachel. I had my dad get a wheelchair and wheel me out to see them. Chad was real happy to see me and wanted to take me home he tried to push the wheel chair and was a real little man, so grown up. Rachel ignored me some what didn't want to sit on my lap....insisted on pushing the wheel chair, too. It reminded me of how Chad had reacted after I had Rachel. After my dad left a bossy nurse came out, saw me, got very upset, and took me back to my room. She was afraid the children might pass a cold on to Eric, and me and then the rest of the babies in the nursery.

Home Again

Suzanne: March 29, 1980 Well, here we are all home in our new house.

Kent brought all of us home on Friday, then took the children shopping so Eric and I could get some sleep. I was just dropping off when I was awakened by the phone University Elementary School giving me congratulations but chastising Kent for taking the day off from school. I was so mad I couldn't go back to sleep. That night when I went in to kiss little Rachel goodnight in her new bedroom, she turned her face to the wall and sobbed a little. My little darling princess was dethroned by the arrival of a usurping prince. I felt rather badly....just like I did for Chad when I brought Rachel home.

Rachel was so very clingy when I was pregnant this Fall could not even move out of her sight in a grocery store without her coming all unglued. Her hands would move up and down on her face and she'd act so distraught. She was very bonded to me, and always wanted me to hold or carry her until my arms ached and I begged Kent to take her. Now as I look back at those pictures of her at this age, how my arms ache to hold her again. I felt guilty having my first three children so close to each other-guilty for the child just older than the baby, and especially for Rachel who was sandwiched in the middle.  But I was very blessed in Rachel: as soon as she neared the age of two she wanted to grow up and be like Chad. She was potty trained at two years old, wanted to follow him to friends houses to play, and no longer wanted to be treated as a baby especially with the new baby in the house. Perhaps she sensed the baby was coming; but she seemed to grow up overnight. While I mourned the loss of her babyhood, I appreciated how mature her little personality was. She was very easy to care for. She tended to hold her own feelings in, and became a little mother to Eric, trying to mimic me in tending him.

Easter 1980

Suzanne: Easter Vacation, 1st week in April, 1980, Kent took advantage of the week off from school to work as hard as possible putting in the brick wall in our back yard so that Chad and Rachel could be contained and I wouldn't need to worry about them during the day while he was at work. Rachel in particular, was a worry since she was just barely two years old. It was one of the craziest weeks of my life with a new baby, all the commotion and noise going on in the back yard, and Chad and Rachel who wandered around the neighborhood making new friends. I was in a panic many times, taking care of Eric or trying to get a needed nap in and not knowing exactly where the older two children were.....and just praying that they would be all right, and that my new neighbors would watch them for me when I couldn't. Often times during the day I walked up and down the street in my robe looking for them and trying to get them to tell me where they would be, or to keep Rachel at home so that I could keep an eye on her. It was General Conference that Easter weekend as well, and Kent didn't get finished in time for the Priesthood Session, but he did stop for Sunday.

Kent is a hard worker around our new home, trying to get everything done. We really make a good team, but it was very difficult with him working all the time while I tried to care for the children. He made our patio roof cover and was drilling and sawing, hammering away and keeping the baby awake, sending sawdust flying all over and getting tracked into the house, breaking light fixtures, having me hold up huge heavy beams and getting my arms scratched up while he drilled, etc. Our house began to look real cute, and it was fun to pick out paint, wallpaper, pictures, etc. We tried to copy the model home that the sales office was in that was just like ours.

Before we moved, a mother of one of Chad's Preschool friends gave me a swing for Eric. And when Eric would fuss and I was trying to care for the other children or fix meals or even sleep, many is the time I would prop him up in that swing and crank it up. He'd kind of hunch there in the swing with his head cocked un-comfortably to one side, and doze off in between windups. That swing was his babysitter, my second pair of arms, and his bed. He took many naps in that swing when I didn't dare move him for fear  of waking him up. I joked a lot about the seesaw view he was getting of life, but I'd heard that rocking stimulated the cerebellum, and so hoped that he would have an active and stimulated intellect to compensate for my inability to always tend to his every need with three small children now under the age of four years. I even put him in there in the middle of the night on rare occasions, wind it up as tight as it would go, and jump back in bed to try to doze off before it wound down and I would have get up and re-crank it.

He is darker as an infant than Chad, not as dark as Rachel. He is finer boned in his features than Chad, and grew and gained weight slower than either of the other two children. His fussy period finally tapered off at 3 months and he became a contented, good-natured baby, and I began to really enjoy him as I had time to care for him while Rachel and Chad consoled and entertained each other.

It seems like nearly every family in this phase of new homes has young children or is planning to have a family. Chad and Rachel have made many new friends, such as Craig and little Lizzy McGuire, Kara Moody, and Larissa and baby Aaron Cox. All of these children live within three houses of us on the right. Chad is particularly taken with Larissa, our neighbor's daughter, and they play together nearly all the time, with Rachel tagging along behind.

July 17, 1980, Kent took Rachel swimming, and Cathy Harmon, Amy's mom, took Chad swimming.

4 Years Old

Mom: July 27, 1980, Chad's primary teachers are Sister Lilia Mortimer and Sister Sandy Edson.  Some of Chad's classmates are Chris White, Brian Coleman, Amy Bartholomew, Michelle Pfahler, Amber Blair.  He loves Sister Mortimer and Sister Edson.  We put his pictures on the refrigerator with magnets. 

Chad likes to play horsey and hide and seek with daddy and Rachel.  He likes to play outside in the dirt with road builder trucks, ride bikes around on the cement, and play with his friends and neighbors  Craig McGuire, Laurissa Cox, Amy Marmon, Joseph Whitelock, Kara Moody.  He likes to play "monster" with them and "family" (Chad is the baby and Rachel is the monster)  He likes to swim  he just finished a class at College of the Canyons where he learned to swim from his parents to the side of the pool and back again, as well as dive off the side of the pool.

Having a Little Baby Brother

Chad loves his baby brother Eric.  He likes to kiss and hug him, hold him and rub his head very vigorously as well as crouch over him and rock him from side to side very enthusiastically.  Sometimes he gets up early in the morning and plays with him or winds him up in the swing while mommy sleeps.  He carries the big  blue diaper bag for mommy out to the car and into church on Sunday mornings.  This is a very hard task for him since it is so big and heavy, but mommy really appreciates it since she has to carry Eric and get there with the children by herself since daddy has a missionary meeting in the morning before church.

Daddy safety-pinned the bottom of Chad's bed so he could make it himself every morning.  He does pretty well at dressing himself and making his bed all by himself so he can go out and play with his friends.  Mommy always has him say his private prayers before he goes out to play and after his bed is made.  He always thanks Heavenly Father that he can play with his friends today, and Mommy pipes up before he can say "In the name of..." with "Please bless Chad he'll learn to love Jesus and do what He wants Chad to do..."

Chad had a nice birthday party with all the neighborhood kids and Chris , and Angela White.  We played blindfold and choose someone, throw the ball in the bucket and white duck, yellow duck.  Chad was so excited about the presents  all he wanted to do was open them.   So were the other children about the gifts they brought.  They all had more fun when we stopped playing games and let Chad open his gifts and the children play with them. He got lots of trucks and a Spiderman Underoo set.  We ate hot dogs, strawberry cake and ice cream.  He bought a Spiderman (tm)Hulk Chloroform stick-on set with birthday money from Grandma Gardiner.  Chad has gotten very tan from playing outside so much.

What Happened to My Parents?

Daddy and Mommy went to the World Conference on Records sponsored by the church in Salt Lake, and Chad and Rachel stayed with Grandma and Grandpa Gardiner.  Chad says Grandma is "funny guy" because she laughs a lot.  He was happy when we told him that he would stay with them, and seemed to understand when we told him that we would go away for a few days, but then would come back and get him and take him home again and he should take care of Rachel for us.  He brought a little toy dinosaur, his cowboy boots and cowboy guns and holsters and Big Wheels (a big toy motorcycle like tricycle out of plastic).  We ate dinner with the grandparents and tried to get them settled, but when we started leaving he followed us out to the car until Grandma whisked he and Rachel back in the house.  We left him Sunday, the 10th and Monday the 11th he got his toys, sat down on the steps and told Grandma he was just going to sit there until daddy came and got him and took him back home again.  So, Grandma took him in, showed him the calendar, and tried to explain that it would be several more days until we came back.  Grandma says it was hard, he missed us and didn't understand, but did pretty well.

He minded her very well....played with and helped take care of Rachel, helped Grandpa water the garden, Grandma with the shopping, and played once with his cousins David and Christy Sekulick...Grandma Says that when she bathed him he cried out when she scrubbed his right ear...like he might have summers ear (water inside) so he didn't swim ever there in his cousins Sekulichs pool..  Also some clumps of hair came out with some scales on the end (I think it is cradle cap).

When we came to get he and Rachel, they were playing in the back bedroom with the Fisher Price little people and furniture, houses and cars.  I went into see them and the ecstatic shouts of joy and smile and hugs and kisses filled the room with warmth and happiness.  He and Rachel kissed Eric in rapid succession and Chad said that he missed me and loved me this much (arms outstretched) or as far as he could reach.  He was very sweet and affectionate, and I can not tell you how happy his father and I were to see him again.  He is such a handsome, obedient; and sweet child.  He said that he loved me the biggest (mean bigger than I loved him) and Grandma related how she overheard him talking to Rachel  "I'm the biggest...right?" and Rachel would say "Yeeaaas."  Chad likes everything the "biggest"  superlatives.  But he also craves reassurance too.

When we were in Salt Lake I got him a picture of Joseph's First Vision.  I wanted him to grow up seeing and knowing the details of the First Vision from the time that he is young  then it shall be easy to bear witness of it to others as he matures. We also bought him a children's version of the Book of Mormon stories as well as brought him a blob of the world, a clock with numbers (so he can learn to tell time) and a baseball mitt that Jim and Carol Brown gave us.

Rockets

Chad is very interested in maps, making up stories and pointing to different spots, trying to figure out where we are, and his friends live. Most of Chad's friends have started kindergarten already (on the year round program) in the morning.  He misses them, so I have tried to do some fun things with he and Rachel in the morning, sometimes having a "Family School" and taking him to the library.  One day his daddy took him to school with him when he was finishing up teaching a summer school class on Rocketry to some 810 year olds.  Chad loved it.  He made friends with the students, sat with them and minded well and got real excited when Kent shot the rockets off (Although he was a little scared, too.)  He got to take a rocket home with him.  After that he was real interested in rockets for a while, so for our family school we talked about Rockets and he practiced printing his "R's."

Suzanne: Friday August 29, 1980, I don't think I have ever so thoroughly enjoyed my children like I do now. They area delight to me. I love to tease them and make them giggle, then smother them with little smooches. Sometimes when I am feeding Eric in the middle of the night I imagine all kinds of horrible things that could happen to them (like falling out of the car like Charlie my brother did (one door of our Valiant doesn't always shut tight), etc. I break out in cold sweats and sometimes go check on them sleeping so sweetly, twisted in odd positions, and fall on my knees beside their beds in fervent prayer for their safety. How barren my life would be without them! May the Lord ever bless them and protect them from harm, evil, and the wicked designs of others....and may they ever learn to obey and love the Lord their God. I guess there are worse things than losing a

child through death losing a child through sin...but I do not wish to lose a child either way.

Kent and I went up to the World Conference on Records in Salt Lake City. We left Chad and Rachel with Kent's folks. My heart yearned towards them even before we left. And it was so good to see them again when we got back. The conference was enjoyable but long and hard with Eric, who couldn't get enough to eat or sleep. The last couple of days I nursed him and put him to sleep on the floor behind a cake concession stand on the 3rd floor of the Salt Palace. He was kinda cranky much of the time he was awake I guess he missed home and a regular schedule.

Halloween

Tonight we went trick or treating in Saugus. In a couple of weeks the President of the United States will be elected.  It was a cold evening and there was a lot excitement in the air.  Chad was Superman with red cowboy covered socks and a red cape.  He was very excited; Rachel was Wonder woman with bracelets, headband and a blue cape.

We went around the neighborhood and afterwards I let Chad have three things to eat.  He ate three chocolate candy bars.

Later, in the dead of the night he came out of his room screaming and yelling strange things like Rachel is hurt in her nose.  He was on a wild sugar high.  This was a real revelation to us that some of his over activeness is due to sweets; we have committed ourselves to limiting his sugar intake.

Dinosaurs

One day on TV he saw a movie with a dinosaur in it.  He was really scared and wanted the TV off.  His friend Craig has some dinosaur books and toy dinosaur...so Chad has become fascinated with them.  We went to the store and got a toy one for him and some books on dinosaurs at the library.  We had to reassure him that they were all dead and sometimes we play games by pretending that different things are dinosaurs, or dinosaur bones or eggs.

Santa Claus

Dad: December 1, 1980, On the way to see "Song of the South" with Chad and Rachel, Chad asked if he told Santa Claus he was not real, would he be sad?  Chad is anxious to know weather Santa is real and if and when he will come to our house.  I told Suzanne that it was fine to let him believe in Santa at present, after all Santa is in the stores and people do get presents from him.  The kids enjoyed the movie and liked the cartoon part.  Chad dropped an apple and cried because it rolled away; down the theatre floor.

Eric Is Sick

Suzanne: January 11, 1981 Sunday, My little cutie pie, baby Eric, is very sick with the flu again. This is the 4th or 5th time he's had it since Thanksgiving (67 weeks). Poor thing. He's been subsisting on Gatorade, soda crackers, and cheerios. But it has begun to wear on him. Lately he's wanted to be held a lot and has even lain quietly in my arms (unusual for him he's such a giggly wiggle worm). He's lost some of his cute chubby plumpness and he whimpers some (a lot for him since he's so good natured and generally contented). Tonight Kent and Jim White gave him a blessing. Kent blessed him that the Spirit of the Lord would enter him and that he would gain back his health and strength(tm)and that his parents would have the wisdom to know how to care for him. He is sleeping soundly now.

What a delightful dear boy he has become. Always grinning his 6-toothed grin from ear to ear, so happy and good natured, giggling, crawling, standing up, grabbing, getting into things, scampering about in his walker, playing patty cake (clapping his hands) holding his hand out to you and opening and closing it, his stalking you, snorting when excited, ducking his head, rolling on the ground, Chad carrying him about under the arms like a limp sack of potatoes while grinning all the while like the happy go lucky elf that he is. And his reddish, silver, gold hair, which is thick and slightly curly on the end. His husky chuckles when he spies you. His dimpled earsplitting grins....what a little doll you are. And how much I have grown to love you, my dear. How glad I am that you have come to live with us. What a choice, happy family we have. And always have I pray.   

Dad: April 5, 1981 Chad is now 5 years old.  He had a great 4^th year.  he has become a find young man.  He is still fascinated by dinosaurs.  He has many of them and enjoys playing with them in our sandbox in the backyard.

He also enjoys Star Wars toys.  They are called action figures and they are held in the hand. Chad has voices for each of them and plays as if they are dolls, or real people. 

Chad is physically big.  He is also rather strong and enjoys running, jumping, climbing and wrestling.  He is kind of rough but does enjoy being rowdy.  This past week on March 30, John Hinkley shot Reagan and put Reagan in the hospital.  He also shot the press aide, a secret serviceman and a Washington policeman.  These events, I believe, show that we are in troubled times.  Chad  you will need to be strong in many ways to raise above the sorted problems of the world.

There has also been much ado about the crime in the streets, particularly Los Angeles.  This too, I'm sure will continue.  Chad is very smart young man. He remembers things he reads and hears.  He also puts information together.  I'm sure he will do well in school and church.  I guess the one characteristic that best sums up Chad is enthusiasm.

Home Wrecking

Suzanne: Friday April 24, 1981, Today did not start out very happy. Yesterday I spent a marvelous morning reading the scriptures, reading to the children, and practicing the piano (Beethoven's "Prayer" from OP 48 No. 1) while the children colored and played happily together. Then Chad went off to "Fun for Fours" Preschool, and Larissa, Aaron, and Joshua came over from next door for me to watch while Marilyn Cox went to a doctor's appointment. I heard Chad call me outside about the time he came home from Preschool, so I ran out to find him. Then Kara, another neighbor girl came over as I was changing Eric. I locked the door so the kids would stay in and took a nose count to be sure I had everyone (8 children 5 and under). I noticed crayon markings on the sidewalk and I asked Rachel if it was her. She said yes, and I started to give her a time out, then changed my mind since she told the truth and told her she'd have to show Daddy and help wash it off. Anyhow Kent came home and took the older kids swimming, (Aaron slobbered and sobbed the whole time home with me while they were gone). Then when he got back I took off for Piano Lessons at COC and to Xerox genealogy. When I got back the whole family came out to meet me and show me the crayon markings ALL OVER the house outside, sidewalk, patio posts, swing set, air conditioner, storage barrels, gate, door, tricycle. It was unbelievable. Turns out Kent found them and really wailed the daylights out of poor Rachel who told the truth. She kept screaming for me. He gave her a long time out (it was the 3rd day in a row she'd marked on walls, etc. with crayon or pens, pencils. Kent's actions so traumatized the other children they all denied any knowledge of the crayon marks (many of which were too high for Rachel to get. We got Larissa and her mom over to show them and talked about it but Larissa denied it. Then Kara and her mom and dad and Kara denied it. Earlier Chad had denied it to us and we believed him since he is generally truthful. Kent and I went to bed heartsick. I prayed for wisdom and that the truth would come out, and also for the well being of the culprit. I do confess however that Kent and I went to bed suspecting the neighbor girl Larissa. But I knew what I had to do with Chad.

The next morning (today) when we all were up I gave Rachel a cookie for telling us the truth yesterday. Chad became incensed-extremely upset over that cookie demanding that I give him one too. I refused, told him maybe later. After breakfast we went into his room where there were drawings on the wall. I knew he had done some, I recognized his style vs. Rachel's. The night before he had denied doing them, but said one was a picture of Craig, another neighbor and friend. So I showed it to him again, told him I wouldn't spank him if he told me the truth and I asked him if he did it. At first he denied it, but when I nailed him a little, he admitted it. We tried to clean it up some. Then we went to the refrigerator where there was another picture like the first (too detailed to be Rachel's). He hedged some, then admitted it. We tried to clean it, then we went outside and I asked him about the markings out there. He hedged again, then admitted to it and showed me what he did enough to convince me it was him including where he put the crayons when done: in his dinosaur can filled with water in the bathroom. He and Rachel had been playing in the bathroom yesterday morning  after they marked outside while I practiced the piano.

I felt sick inside. I had him tell Larissa's and Kara's moms so they would know (since we accused their daughters), coached Kent somewhat about not overreacting....Kent told him he was proud of him for telling the truth and that he wouldn't get a  spanking. Chad stayed home all day. I think he felt badly about it. And when Kent came home, he tried to help him clean the crayon off. Kent and I made a rule after this: if you tell the truth, you won't get a spanking. but if you don't tell the truth and we find out you get punished real hard. I want my children to be honest....but also to trust us and have a good relationship.

I was sure embarrassed at having accused the neighbor children...

Oh well, they can learn to exercise a little compassion towards us.

Star Wars

Mom: Sunday, May 3, 1981, We took Chad and Rachel to see Star Wars Movie for Family Home Evening during Easter Vacation.  Chad really liked the movie and was very interested in everything that happened. He likes to play with the Star Wars Action Figures and some toy dinosaurs with his friends Craig Mc Guire who lives three door from us, Chris White who lives around the block, and Tyson Wooley and Jacob Young who go to his Preschool class and are in Primary with him.

Chad knows a lot about dinosaurs.  We took him to the Natural History Museum to see the fossils.  He gets lots of library books to read about them and always brings something about dinosaurs to Preschool.  He even brought a dinosaur book to Valley View when he was tested for Kindergarten.   Mrs. Elvington said Chad did a "super" job recognizing his alphabet letters, and that he is a fantastic student.  She is his Rosedell Fun for Fours teacher.  Chad has a birthday coming up this week.  he'll be five years old next week.  He loves books  especially the scripture books we got from the church.  He is a very bright boy, with a good memory, a natural leader.  He shows real promise, if he can direct himself in the right ways and control his temper. 

He is very responsible  often takes good care of Eric and looks forward to when Eric can share the bunk bed with him

He and Rachel drew with crayons all over the back of the house on morning when I was practicing the piano.  He was afraid to admit it when he saw Rachel get spanked.  The next day he got upset when I gave Rachel a cookie for telling the truth.  He later confessed to contributing to the drawings outside (and some inside)  He wasn't spanked because he told the truth, but he had to admit it to Laurissa Cox's parents and Kara Moody's (neighbors) since they had been implicated when he didn't admit to it.  The crayon hasn't come off yet but he has been interested in trying to help.

Birthday Postponed

Mom: Saturday May 9, 1981, Today was to be Chad's 5 year old birthday party, but I had to call everyone to postpone it because Chad and Eric are sick. They've had fevers, sore throats; Chad's eyes are swollen and matted over. He was very disappointed, but we'll have it next week and roast hot dogs, play games, etc. It took me an hour to call all 14 of his friends to tell them, and many of them were quite disappointed too. I spent 2 hours Thursday night delivering the invitations to all of them.....

5 Years Old

Mom: Sunday May 10, 1981, Tuesday Chad came home from school and told me I had to got to his school that night and see his butterflies. (It was School Open House) I took Chad that night to Rosedell Elementary School Kindergarten Room (where Fun for Fours is held).  On the way down he said I had to do everything Mrs.Elvington said because she was the boss.  He showed me his plant, a picture he painted of Springtime about a tree growing up to give shade from he hot sun for those sitting under it.  He also showed me a butterfly he made and some real butterflies in an aquarium in the classroom that were coming out of cocoons.  Mrs. Elvington said Chad was a very bright boy, able to think logically and creatively. (She referred to his picture of Springtime as an example ) Chad told her about his birthday plans and she said she would make him a birthday crown and I could send cupcakes to school on Thursday.  On the way home Chad said he wanted to invite Mrs. Elvington to his birthday party and that he's like to go to her house.  He wondered if he was real good everyday if she would let him come over (one time we stopped by her house for library book about dinosaurs he'd left at school).

Thursday daddy went to the store for cake in the morning before work.  Mommy made cupcakes but almost didn't get them and Chad to school since she didn't have a car  but finally Chris Whites mom came and got him.  He had a good time.  He came home with a birthday crown and Mother's Day Card.  He told me he got 5 Birthday swats and everybody sand "Happy Birthday" to him.  He also told me Mrs. Elvington asked if he had helped make the cupcakes. He said "no" and she told him "What a wonderful mommy you have! "

Tears

That night I spent 2 hours delivering his birthday party invitations and he complained of a sore throat.  Friday he was feverish and his eyes were swollen.  I called his Grandpa Brown who said to give him some medicine (Penicillin).  Joseph a neighbor boy who was going to be at his Grandpa's on Saturday brought over a birthday present  It was a Robin Super hero doll toy.  Saturday Chad's eye was matted over and mom had to call all his friends and tell them to come next week and stay from 45:30 we'd roast hot dogs.  Chad was sad and drew pictures of him "sad, sick Chad"  with a matted eye and tears coming down.  That night Dad took him to Sav-On in Canyon Country and he bought 2 large dinosaurs (Tyrannosaurs Rex and Allasorous) with birthday money he received in the mail from Grandma Great (Breiten) cousin Reeses, and Grandma Gardiner.

Today Chad felt well enough to go  to church.  We had to wash his though.  Mommy and Baby Eric stayed home because we were sick.  However.  We think we got sick from Craig's mommy.  She was sick early in the week and mommy brought over some dinner Tuesday night and Wednesday offered to watch Craig's little sister, Elizabeth.  I had to struggle with Chad to write this since he was so anxious to draw his picture on the next page.

Chad used to dread Sundays  waking up everyday asking "Is today Sunday?  Can I play with my friends?  since we insist that Sunday be a family day. We had fires in the fireplace and popcorn on the cold wintry days.  Lately we've been reading the Book of Mormon stories on Sunday, then acting them out.  Chad always likes to play the part of Heavenly Father or Jesus.

Kent reads to the children, and just took them with him to deliver his Seventies report.  Last Wednesday night I was trying to put the snaps in the bottom of a baby bubble suit, I was bringing to a baby shower (Jackie Terry) and was using a hammer Kent had given Chad (unbeknownst to me) Chad was quite upset  I tried to hide from him to finish it and pounded a whole in the suit that had taken me three hours to make.  I cried and yelled at Chad .  But I apologized the next morning.  I'm sorry Chad.  Chad went with his daddy to deliver "A Marvelous work and a Wonder to the Mc Guires, Craig's family, but they weren't home.  Once, for the Mc Guires Christmas present I watched their children for them while they attended a Christmas concert at Grace community Church (Craig's daddy is "born again" and his mommy is Catholic).  My heart was so softened toward them with pity and love, I knelt on their kitchen flood and shed tears and prayed with all my heart that Might see that family dressed in white kneeling in the holy temple...  Chad frequently talks to\ them about gospel principles we have taught him and they have marveled at it.

Finally - The Party

Chad finally had a birthday party.  Monday the 11th we went to Shakeys and had pizza and root beer, then we stopped at Thrifty Drug for ice cream cones, then the church for a Ward Road Show.  Saturday came and 12 of Chad's friends came to his party;  Laurissa Cox, Craig McGuire, Joseph Whitelock, Amy Harmon, Tyson  Wooley, Jacob Young Jacob Walker, Mark Berntson, Amber  Blair, Chris White, Neil Esposito, and Sarah Mark.

They played "Duck,Duck,Goose", "Doggie, dogie Where's Your bone?", Stick the nose on Mickey Mouse (Chris white and Joseph Whitelock won that one 2 sticks of gum) and they had to do a trick to get a surprise bag of goodies.  Chad picked the first 2 games.  Laurissa's mom helped with the third while the others were going on.

Chad received many nice presents.  His favorites seem to be some little men and little police cars (and some dinosaurs he bought himself with some birthday money).  We had hot dogs, chips, carrot sticks, punch and cup cakes outside on the lawn  and the wind blew some glasses and plates over.  We took pictures and Kent interviewed the kids on tape.  Everyone said it was a GREAT party. 

Dad Goes To Canada

Chad's daddy went up to Canada for a week with his school class.  Chad missed him, asked me to show him on the glob where he was, when he was coming back, and when he preyed, "Thank you daddy can come home quickly and safely..."  He asked me to have Kent kiss him when he got home while Chad was sleeping.  When Kent got home and was in bed Saturday morning, the kids came in to peek at him through the door, and Chad ran to kiss him during the night (he had) Kent brought a wooden 3 car train home from a Forestry Museum near Vancouver.  And Chad loves to play with it make tracks on the carpet, go over the lines on the kitchen linoleum, fill it with cars, people, and dinosaurs. I have to say, Chad was most cooperative and good-natured the entire week.  He played so well with Rachel on a number of occasions that I treated him with an ice cream cone.  When Kent was eating breakfast with the kids Saturday morning he said he was "helping Daddy take care of me."  What a little man he is becoming. Chad went swimming with his Dad later Saturday.  Today, he enjoyed reading some new Book of Mormon stories the church puts out.

Suzanne: Saturday May 16, 1981....I made some cupcakes, then went down to Rosedell school to be the Pocket Lady at their Carnival. I agreed to do that before we had to postpone Chad's party because he and Eric were sick. Then I dashed home, bought some more Hot dogs and buns at 711's on the way, and set up for Chad's party.

It was fun, we played games and had hot dogs...my neighbor, Marilyn Cox came over to help me. Eric was so cute, he kept grabbing the hot dogs (he loves them) out of the buns, and carrying them around and eating them. Kent did an interview on cassette and took some pictures.

We didn't invite one neighbor child (Kara Moody), who is 2 years younger than Chad mainly because I felt she was more Rachel's friend than Chad's. I found out she was very sad and disappointed (she feels like one of the gang)....I set aside some party favors and tomorrow, Rachel and I will bring some over to her along with a cupcake. I am sorry to break a little girl's heart.

Mom: Tuesday May 19th, 1981, I got ready to go work at Chad's school (Fun for Fours) in the afternoon. They are preparing their "To Kindergarten We Go" Program. It's darling, and I am amazed at how sharp those little four-year-olds are! They perform as well as many teenagers do in ward Roadshows. I have been pleased by Mrs. Elvington, Chad's teacher. She is able to command the kids' respect and obedience, and the children adore her. Chad was tested for kindergarten and the testing K teacher said Chad was developmentally at 5 years old, very ready for kindergarten.

Mom: Wednesday the 20th, 1981, The afternoon I took Chad and Rachel to the circus at COC (except Eric was in the babysitting coop). The kids had fun and I kept buying them goodies to keep them occupied.

Mom: Thursday the 21st of May, 1981, I was supposed to watch the Favera children for their mom who just had a new little baby, but we made it the next day since Eric's eyes were so matted over and I wasn't sure what was causing it. I kept putting Visosulf drops in when I could, but I hated doing it because he always squirmed, yelled and rubbed his eyes. I tried to get a sub for Chad's preschool, but when I couldn't, I got Marilyn next door to help watch him and went anyway. Rachel had a good time participating with everyone. She said she liked Chad's school, and she played some Alphabet games with the children while I stuffed life-size figures of the children in the class.

Mom: Saturday, the 23rd, 1981, The afternoon we all went into the Valley to look at a secretary on sale and shop at Lucky's. Eric screamed on the way home; he doesn't do very well on long trips. We stopped at Thrifty drug store on the way home for some more ice cream (2nd time that day) and Kent held Eric while I drove the rest of the way home.

Mom: Sunday the 24th, 1981, I gave the closing prayer in Sacrament Meeting, but before I did, Rachel came dashing up to the stand to be with me, sobbing her heart out all the way up.

Mom: Wednesday May 27th, 1981, Yesterday, I got my hair permed and cut for the first time, like Janelle Young in our ward. When I went to pick up the children at Vivian Marks', Eric gave me a queer look, Chad said he liked my hair the other way better, but Rachel said she like my curls.

Kent is in Canada for a week with his elementary school children. Chad and Rachel ask about him a lot. I tried to show them on the globe in Chad's room where he was. They've been praying for him Chad says "Thank you that Daddy will come home safely and fastly."

Rachel was bothering Chad so I told him to "ignore" her. Then Rachel tattled, "Mommy, Chad's `ginoring' me." Later Chad wanted to know what 'ginoring` was.....Oh, well.

I took an hour nap and gave the children a late lunch. They played so nicely and well together I promised them an ice cream cone. Candace Waldheim came by at 4 pm to take them to the library for story time. She bought them an ice cream cone because they were so good at the library.

Rachel fell asleep during Wonder Woman. I carried her into bed and put a glass of milk by her bed. I gave Eric bath and as soon as I began filling the tub he began screaming. He ran out of the bathroom and came back with his blanket and bottle; I guess he though he'd take those in the bath with him for security. He screeched and tried to get out the whole time. No toys would entice him to relax and enjoy it. I think Kent's bathing and dowsing him has traumatized him.

Chad played in the bath awhile, dressed himself, and cleaned his

room. Then I read him a story. The children were sure well behaved today.

Suzanne: Friday May 29th, 1981, This morning I worked at Rachel's school while Debbie Hilton watched Cad and Eric for me. Rachel is a sweet girl. She loves the school ("Tiny Tots" at Santa Clarita Park) and so for her sake, I endure some of the teacher's lack off skill and organization. We brought Christy Bingham and Heather Blair home to play for a while. I fed the kids lunch, then washed and set my new hairdo. Rachel was very cranky and whiney the whole time. She must've been tired, she's usually not that way. Chad was extremely cooperative and good-natured all day. He had his moments, but he responded to reason and quiet words. I think I'm doing all right as a mom when he's like that.

I got the children to bed and Jan McGuire came over to watch them while I drove down to UCLA to get Kent, back from his Canada trip. The children wanted him to come in and kiss them as soon as he got home while they were sleeping. Eric saw Kent when he changed him, and cooed, "Dada" for a while.

Suzanne: Saturday May 30th 1981, When the children got up they all came in to see Kent lying in bed. Chad ran to kiss him; Rachel just peeked through the door. They watched TV cartoons until Kent got up. Then they all wanted to know if he had kissed them during the night and he said yes, and hugged and wrestled with them. He could barely walk two steps without having the kids all over him. He brought out presents for the children: a Canadian commemorative pen and some candy for Rachel (Eric got some of Rachel's candy too), and three wooden train cars for Chad.

Disneyland

Mom: Monday June 1, 1981, We got up at 7:30am, got dressed, ate, picked up the house, and packed into the car. The kid's were so excited (Rachel got up twice in the night) they bounced and chattered away in the car all the way to Grandma Gardiners. We left Eric there; he didn't know what was going to happen and he really screamed when we all walked out and left him. He tried to chase and dive after us, but Grandma held him with his blanket.

Chad threw up a few blocks from Buena Park Mall from carsickness and excitement. We stopped at John Reese's store "The Athlete's

Foot" and got shoes for Chad, Kent and I. The children were getting ancy, and we finally arrived at Disneyland about noon. We went first on a horse drawn carriage from Main Street, and secondly in the haunted Mansion. It was too dark and scary, Rachel quaked and trembled the whole time. The children liked Country Bear Jamboree, Jungle Cruise, Cars U Drive (2 x) Boats U(tm)Drive (2 x), merry-go-round Carousel (2 x), Dumbo Elephant (2 x), Cartoon Theater, Tom Sawyer's Island, and It's a Small World (Kent took them on this while I went on the Matterhorn). They didn't like Pirates of the Caribbean (too dark and scary), Sleeping Beauty's Castle (boring) or the People Mover (boring, Speed Tunnel was scary). Lastly we went on the train through Grand Canyon and the Primeval World. Chad remembered the dinosaurs on the train ride from last time and did not want to go on it again (too scary), but we talked him into it as the last ride. We said he could tell his friends he saw the dinosaurs at Disneyland. It was pretty realistic, but I thin he liked it. It was a great day for it clouded over so not too hot or cold, on a weekday so short lines. The longest wait was for Dumbo the Elephant. We had cheeseburger special plates, soft drinks, ice cream and jellybeans. We got the candy at the shops under the castle.

Eric was sure ecstatic to see us again. We stopped in to see Gayle Reese and John, Jr., their new baby, and thank John for the purchases.

Mom: Tuesday June 2, 1981, Eric got me up at 6:30am. I wish he were not such an early bird. We had Chris and Angela White over to play. Chad went to preschool, and then played at Chris' house afterwards. Rachel was invited to but she did not want to go.

Mom: Wednesday June 3, 1981 , I was going to watch Vivian Mark's kids today but she changed it to Thursday....so I took the kids up to the pool instead. I met Glenna Rae White and her three kids, Debbie Blair and her three, Margo Mumford and little David, Lisa Esposito and her three, Nancy Pfahler and her two, and some others I didn't know. There were at least 20 children there, all Pre-schoolers. Chad had a hard timesharing the inflated "doughnut", which irritated me some since he knew how to swim, then Glenna Rae shared an extra one with him. Eric loved the water once he got in. I had to watch him or he'd just jump into the pool. I got in with him and held him afloat. He squirmed, kicked his feet, squealed, blew bubbles, and gulped water had a great time. Rachel enjoyed the "doughnut", went out in the water a ways and then squealed for help getting back into the steps. GlennaRae's Kelly fell in the pool twice.

Thursday June 4, 1981, Today was the first day for watching Joshua or "Joshy" from down the street. I took over babysitting him from Marilyn Cox when she started school. He is an adorable little 18-month Filipino boy, who cried constantly, and wouldn't eat or sleep the whole day. Then once the crying simmered down, the problems with Eric began. Eric kept BUGGING him, pushing him, taking toys away. Josy would scream "No!", or "Mine!"  I'd tap Eric's hand and say "No, no, Eric". and he'd hang his head and look at me from under his long eyelashes with a really guilty expression. (He was sorta funny about it like he was saying, "I'm king here and this guy comes under me.) Besides establishing pecking order, I think Eric also did it for my response. He was testing his limits and boundaries so to speak. He a little bugger, that one!

In the afternoon I got ready for Chad's Preschool Program and trimmed his hair. Kent got home just in time for it. Chad was sure excited to have Kent come; but he didn't do anything during the program just stared off into space and waved at us occasionally. I think he was pretending it wasn't such a big deal to him, but we knew it really was.

Mom: Sunday June 7, 1981,last Monday Chad went to Disneyland with us  He's been looking forward to it for a long time.  He could hardly wait 'til we got there...he and Rachel got quite ancy waiting for us while we bought some shoes and clothes at the Athlete Foot in Buena park Mall.  We got Chad some Nike "running shoes" which he really liked because the sole of the foot came up on the toes and the heel.  We got them 1 1/2 sizes too large but Chad wore them all week long anyway  showing everybody how the sole of the shoe went up so he could "run real fast" in them.

At Disneyland, Chad did not like the Haunted Mansion  wanted out of there.  He did like the country Bear Jamboree, the Jungle Ride, Tom Sawyers Island (loved this wish we had some fortress rocks like that in our yard).  The cars and boats U Drive, the carousel, Dumbo Elephant Ride, and Cartoon Festive.  He kept saying he didn't want to on the train ride where you saw the dinosaurs, but Kent and I  sorta talked him into it, as the last ride before we came home,  telling him he could tell his friends about how he saw the dinosaurs at Disneyland.  We made it on the last train ride of the day, and the children weren't to frightened this time  especially, since we sat in the back row and the train was full.  He shared some jellybeans with Rachel (although he wanted his own bag ) and got a yellow Mickey Mouse Balloon, which he popped the next day. 

He played with the Mark girls this week (not by choice he prefers boys) Chris White, and helped me take care of "Joshy"  a boy we baby sit.  He was real sweet and good to "Joshy", taking him by the hand for a "walk". He went swimming twice and played in the sprinklers with Rachel two times, filled up the green "froggy" with water and played in that.  He stayed in the pool all day Saturday at the Padoviches.

Thursday was Chad's preschool graduation. He'd been real worried that "we might go to Disneyland" on the same day.  He was very excited to have Kent there and kept waving to us and staring dreamily off into space during the program.  He was Indian #1 in "Ten Little Indians," we got some pictures we took home a certificate, a family portrait, a bear, a life sized stuffed "body" he had colored of himself, and a clown face.  He thoroughly enjoyed "his school" keeps hoping if he's real good he can go to Mrs. Elvington's house someday.

Chad helped me take care of quite a few children this week.  He is going through a very nice helpful and responsible time in his life and his parents are very proud of his growth and development  He said just a little while ago that he likes everyone in his family including himself.  And I'm glad you like yourself Chad.  I hope you always do.  He has been working on "not hitting".  Sometimes in frustration annoyance or anger he will lash out at one of the younger kids, but he is doing much better. He has been saying to me that it is time to pray to Heavenly Father and ask him to send us another baby.  He says he wants a boy and to name him Casey.  Another time he said he wanted 2 babies like his friend Jacob Young has.  I tell him Eric is still a baby and we need to wait a little longer until he's not so little (like when Eric is 2).  Chad is very loving and affectionate and I hope and believe that he will keep this love of others throughout his life, and desire many children of his own.  He is always very curious about where he will live after he's married, how can he go on a mission when he can't drive a car yet.  He remembers his primary lesson very well and will often rehearse them in detail when he gets home from church. (He gets a treat if he's been reverent) I pray that he will always be blessed with choice teachers in church and school.

Tuesday he went to the Marks and swimming and the Library for a tour and movie.  Wednesday night we went to K Mart and he got "flip flops" just like Daddy's and some jungle animals for his work prize.  Friday he played at Tyson Wooley's with Tyson and Jacob.  Saturday he helped his dad build a playhouse out of pipes and sheets.  He had much fun destroying it as he did making it.  His dad gave him a watch yesterday and taught him to tell what hour it was.  Chad is very close to his dad.  Right now he is helping Rachel color on a piece of paper she brought home from Primary.  He is a real organizer and leader.  I pray that he will be a leader for righteousness among his peers and help them to be strong against the temptations to abuse their bodies.

Deafened

Mom: Sunday June 21, 1981, Monday Chad and 4 of his friends started a Gymnastics class at college of the Canyons.  Chad, Tyson, Eric Mitchell, Jacob young (all in his Primary class) and Kevin Waldheim  a neighbor friend are the while class  There are only the five boys in it.  Their teacher's name is dawn.  She had the boys run around the big guy.  Chad wanted to be first so he cut some corners to get ahead of everyone  and Dawn had the boys run around again, this time running on the line.  Chad still moved up to first or second. (He likes to be the "mostest" in everything).  Then the boys did some tumbling, climbing and jumping, starting and finishing the way the teacher showed them professional gymnasts do. They were really cute and worked so hard to do everything she told them to do exactly right.  I shall have to sit with my hand over my mouth  it's such a temptation to shout out praise and encouraging words.  On the way home I was nearly deafened by their excitement and rowdiness. Chad let out a few shrill high A's to show off and I had to pull over to the side of the road twice to maintain order.  I talked to the mothers about establishing some safety rules for traveling in the car.  5 little boys traveling in a car can become pretty exciting! Tyson played over afterwards.

Tuesday Chad played at Craig/s house most of the day.  Wednesday was another gymnastics class.  Mommy bought Chad and his friends each an orange popsicle for remembering to talk in normal voices and sit the correct way in the car.  They worked on the parallel bars today too.  Rachel wishes she could go to Chad's class too.  Thursday Chad went swimming with his dad.  He jumped in the deep end and swam about half the width of the pool, taking breaths!  Mommy and Daddy are real proud of his progress.  He loves the water too.  Thursday night Mommy and Daddy went to the temple with Tysons and Eric's parents.  They are really good people and we like to encourage Chad's friendships with their sons.

Friday we went to the beach.  Chad really had a great time playing in the sand.  Once, his Dad buried him, standing up, up to his neck.  He couldn't move his arms or legs.  Then daddy poured cold sea water on him.  Chad thought that was great.  He helped some other children dig forts and castles.  On the way home he ate about 5 oranges with his Dad.

Saturday Chad went with his dad to Grandpa Gardiners so Daddy could work on some wooden rockets for his summer school class.  On the way home he ate 3 popsicles (the weather has been hot and dry over 100 degrees).  His cousins the Reeses came over in the afternoon for swimming and Bar-B-Q.  Chad really likes his Uncle John and enjoyed swimming from his parents to John and back.

Sunday morning he and Eric both got up at 6:30am and Mommy gave him 5 cents for watching Eric until the rest of the family got up.  He bought gum with it from a gumball bank he got for his birthday from a friend.  Chad is generally quite patient and gentle with Eric.  Occasionally he asks his mother if we can pray to Heavenly Father for another baby.

Mom: End of June 1981, Vivian Mark babysat Eric while we took Chad and Rachel to COC for Parent-Child Swim lessons. Another parent in the class, Candace Waldheim and her son Kevin needed rides, so we took them also. Candace became quite taken with Rachel. She also became somewhat interested in the church, and began attending R.S. homemaking meetings with me. She invited all of us over for a lovely Chinese meal as a thank you for the rides.

Big Bear  A Special Vacation

Mom: Sunday July 5, 1981 Chad has been enjoying his gymnastics class, swimming with his Dad, and visiting with cousins.  Saturday the 27th, Mark and Karen with their two children came out for a visit, swim and bar BQ.  Johanna, Glenn and her four kids came down Thursday the 25, and Monday the 21.  We went up to Big Bear for a day and a half visit with the Browns, Goodmans.  Chad really liked and got along well with his cousin Matthew Goodman, (6 years old) and had fun playing with cowboy guns and holsters with him.  Monday night at Big Bear, Grandma led us in a game of "Run, Sheepy run!" where the one who's "it" burns their back and shouts that out or yells "stop" while everyone tries to sneak up on them get tagged.  They're out if their spotted by the one "it."  Chad really wanted to be it, but it took some convincing to get him to play by the rules and be "it" legitimately.  But he finally won when most everyone else was through playing except for he and Ben and Matt and Nate.  So Daddy and I played with him too.  He played real well, but was sorry to give up being "it".  Grandpa Brown showed us some magic card tricks, and we topped off the evening with "Poor Pussy" the one who's it in this game pretends to be a cat, saying "meow" and trying to get others to smile while saying "Poor pussy." Chad had lots of fun and was a great kitty.  He slept on the top bunk in a bedroom with the whole family.  He and Eric were wide eyed and bushy tailed at 6:30am so they went with Daddy for a walk, but when they came back to check on us (Chad was lonely for a friend to play with) they woke Rachel up and me.  We went swimming at green Valley Lake (about 13 1/2 miles from Big Bear) Chad enjoyed swimming and wading out to a floating platform and jumping off it.  We came home Tuesday evening after dinner Chad rode in front with his daddy  had a hard time popping his ears as we came down the mountain.  We had lunch and a swim with the Goodmans again on Thursday on their way back home to Yuba City.  I think they're Chad's favorite cousins since they have 3 boys near Chad's age.

Grandfather's Testimony

Saturday Chad went shopping with his dad and saw the local parade, came home and helped his dad rework the sprinklers in back, went swimming, had a Barbecue picnic with the neighbors,  and saw a fireworks show the local newspaper shoots off at the Park.  He said the noise hurt his ears and watched them from inside the car for a while, then joined us on the trunk outside.  Sunday we went down to Grandma and Grandpa Gardiners ward to help Uncle John Reese bless their new son, then go over to the Reeses for lunch and visit with the Gardiners and their children.  Chad sat next to his grandpa in church very reverently the whole.  He got to hear his Grandpa Gardiner teach the Gospel Doctrine lesson on Joshua, and bear his testimony.  Grandpa told about going to see some strip mining for gold once and all the mountains and mountains of gravel heaped up that they went through to find a few ounces of gold.  He said that he'd been through a lot of gravel in his life, but this moment here with all his children and grandchildren gathered around, was one of his gold nuggets.  Every priesthood bearer in the family who was present was worthy to participate in the blessing of cousin John William Reese.  Uncle John said he hoped this tradition continued in the family, and that there was no greater calling in the church or priesthood that of husband and father.  Uncle John is in the Bishopric of the Glendale II ward.

July 10, 1981, Last week we went up to Big Bear for a day and a half with my folks and Grandma Breiten, and the Goodmans (Glenn, Janna, Ben, Matt, Jessica and Nate), Mike and Judy and Adam Wooten. Charlie and Barbara were there for just Monday night.

It was nice in that it gave me an opportunity to appreciate my sisters' families better. Eric had a hard time on the curves though. He threw up 3 times. He didn't sleep well either. 

Mom Gets Her Way

Mom: Sunday July 12, 1981, Last Monday for Family Home Evening

Mommy told a story about when she was a little girl playing with a big heavy crowbar at her great Grandma Henderson's farm (she was showing how strong she was) she tired to keep it away from her little sister Judy and hit her in the head  cutting her forehead very deeply.  Grandpa Brown had to put stitches in it and Aunt Judy cried very loudly.  Mommy felt very bad and wished she had shared better  having my own way wasn't worth having Judy get hurt.

Fun Camping on the Beach

Tuesday we went to the "Muppet Caper" and Chad really liked it  especially, Miss Piggy who saved Kermit the Frog from the villain jewel their Charles Grodin.  He liked this movie better than the one about the scary dragon in "Dragon Slayer"  we saw the week before....we went swimming nearly every day.  Friday and Saturday we went to Carpentaria Beach with the Standleys, Nelsons and Whites.  Chad went right in the water that evening  in shorts and jacket  just having the greatest time.  After dark we changed the kids into their "jammies" roasted marshmallows around the fire and sang songs with everyone.  Chad had a good time.  We slept in a borrowed tent  Chad slept in a sleeping bag near the wall of the tent.  He slept well  woke up only once when Eric woke everybody up.  Eric kept trying to crawl over to him and called "Cha."  (leaving off the "d") several times during the night.  Chad slept in past everyone.  He ate breakfast with Chris White in his Uncle's motor home (Trix and bananas) and played in the tent, sand, water all day.  He liked digging in the sand with Chris, throwing a ball into the waves and hiding in the tend with it all zipped up.  He had so much fun he wants to go camping again soon.  He slept on the way home, ate a little French fries and root beer, and had a bath before going to bed.

We came home Saturday night because we felt we should be home Sunday to keep it holy and go to church with the kids, This morning he said he didn't want to go to church  he wanted to stay home and play with his toys  we told him his teachers and friends would miss him  that Primary wouldn't be the same without him and he smiled and said he would go.  He then told us that Sister Bartholomew (One of his teachers) likes me and grinned.  He remembered that hiss lesson was on "rules" after church and Daddy told us that one of Chad's teachers said he was very reverent in class.  Chad really beamed.  Right now he and Rachel are playing house together quite well outside in the patio.  Rachel's the mommy and he's the baby.

Mom: Tuesday July 28, 1981. Chad finished up gymnastics and a Red cross Swim Course, but didn't act too excited about either of them in fact he began to rebel against going.  He said he liked the gymnastics better  but seemed weary of it  ready for school to begin.  In swimming he never wanted to swim on top of the water - only under the water diving for rocks or plastic tubes.  When we go swimming as a family at the community pool we never see him he's always swimming around under the surface.  He told his teacher he already knew how to swim on top of the water  so he was more interested in learning to swim under it.  He likes to sneak up on people and grab them and surprise 'em. His swim teacher said he needs to work on keeping his body straight when he floats on his back, and turning his head to the side under his arm when he breathes.  Friday we went to a kindergarten class together and met his new teacher  Mrs. Neary, and saw where he was going to get the bus and go to school.  He was asking me so many questions about the bus ride and the first day that I got impatient with him  then his feelings were hurt and he didn't  want to talk to me anymore  so I apologized.  Everyone in our tract and the mobile home area are in the class and so he knows; Eric Mitchell, Chris white, Michelle Pfahler and Amber Blair from Primary.  His teacher Mrs. Neary has a son-in-law who's the nephew of Paul Dunn, and she remembered many things from Chad's test and questionnaire (that he likes dinosaurs  is ready to read, and that Kent works at UES.  She had attended some Madeline Hunter workshops and was impressed.  My initial impression was positive.

First Day at Kindergarten

Sunday, Chad's Primary lesson was on obeying the "rules" to help the children get ready for school.  Monday Chad was up by 6:30, eating his breakfast and getting ready for school.  Kent got a picture of him leaving the house with his snack sack and nametag.  He was real excited about the bus ride.  Amy and Craig, older neighbor kids, rode with him.  I asked him what happened that made him happy or that he liked the best.  He said Monday that he liked the coloring (He did a paper on red and circles) and Tuesday he liked the snack the best (I sent a cupcake). I asked him if anything happened to make him sad and he said no, he liked all of it. 

I heard from a mother, Judy Magiora  who helped out that first day that she didn't have any aides to help her, and so was trying to handle 34 kindergartners the first week all by herself  and was at her wits end (understandably!) so I called up and volunteered to help  and got some other mothers to come in each day for the rest of the week.

Last night for Family Home Evening we had a lesson on Honesty, and Sunday Kent gave Chad a father's Blessing, It's recorded on tape with Chad's birthday party.  Unfortunately just before the blessing, the Whites came by to see us and during the blessing Rachel and Eric stood at the front room window and knocked on it and called to them as they waited on the doorstep.  Kent blessed Chad that he would be able to learn the skills he needed to have to be able to read and do well in school, and that he would be a good missionary.

Mom: Sunday August 9, 1981,Chad has been doing very well in school.  He knows most of his ABC's and numbers, and the teacher has him picked out as a bright child, responsible and a leader. He has been learning shapes, colors, red and yellow and letters, a,b,y,r,m and s.  He is very excited about school and riding the bus.  Grandpa Brown said he never wants to bless any of his own grandchildren  he wants their fathers to be worthy enough to do it.

Washing Socks

Last Sunday we went to Grandpa and grandma Brown's ward for daddy to assist in blessing cousin Jenny Brown.  Her Daddy, uncle Jim Brown, and uncle Charles Brown (and their wives) and Grandma Great were there too.  Uncle Jim bore his testimony about how grateful he was to be able to bless his own daughter, and growing up and maturing in the gospel, and watching others do the same.  He told about how when he was on his mission he washed his brand new black socks, that they had never been washed before together.  It took him 3 more washing to get most of the grey out of his shirt, and he was too embarrassed to tell his companion what he'd done.  But now he looked back on it and could laugh.   As we grow in the gospel we can look back and laugh a little at ourselves, and have compassion on others.  He knows the church is true, and thanked the Lord for righteous parents who set a good example for him.  Grandma Brown also bore her testimony; saying her family and the church were most dear to her.  She wanted her family to know that she had a testimony of the gospel and that she earnestly strove to do everything that the prophet, stake president and Bishop counseled to do, and that she sustained them.  Chad was very reverent in church sitting next to grandma-great and couldn't wait.

We had a dinner afterwards at eh Browns, and Mommy and Daddy arranged to go to the temple with the grandparents and aunts and uncles last Friday.  Saturday Grandpa Gardiner came over, dropping cousin Jennifer Reese off, then going down the block to help a young widow he knew from work put some brick work in.  Several other people from work helped too.  Chad had fun playing with Jennifer.

Camping at El Capitan

Mom: Sunday, August 16, 1981, We went camping with the Blairs

Monday through Wednesday of the past week, and Chad missed 2 days of school.  we went to El Capitan above Santa Barbara.  He was disappointed that he didn't get to sleep in the back of the Blairs truck with Daddy and Mommy, and then that he couldn't take the flashlight to bed with him in the tent.  He liked playing on the rocks going down to the stream, and digging in the sand at the beach. 

He has been learning phonetics, colors, and shapes in school.

Thursday he had his school picture taken.

First Public Prayer

This morning he gave the prayer in opening exercises for the whole Primary.  We talked to him about it before church this morning.  He was scared at first and didn't want to do it.  We talked about what it would be like, what to say and how to do it.  how good he would feel when he was through and pantomimed it with him.  He still wasn't too sure.  Then at breakfast I asked Eric to say the blessing.  He folded his arms and muttered something incomprehensible.  Rachel and Chad laughed at him.  I then pretended to be Eric talking and asking Chad if I (Eric) could give the prayer in Primary.  Chad smiled and said no, he had to wait until he was 5 like him.  I then asked if he would show me (Eric) how to pray in Primary and he said all right.  During Opening Exercises Eric and I stood in the back of the chapel (or rather I held Eric in my arms) as Chad walked by me to his seat.  I told him Eric wanted to hear Chad show him how to say the Prayer.  Chad and Eric waved at each other from the front and back of the chapel and smiled at each other.

When it came time to say the Prayer, the Primary president lifted him up on the step before the microphone and told him what to say.  I was disappointed that he didn't get to do it by himself and so I encouraged Chad to say thank you to her and that next time he would do it by himself.  She gave him a sticker for

helping, Kent and I told him if he would say prayer or give a talk in church by himself  he would get to have a special treat (tm)like an ice cream cone  by himself.

August 28, 1981, We went camping with the Blairs this Summer and

had a great time, the kids loved it.

Chad is about one month into kindergarten here at Highlands. His teacher is Mrs. Neary. I am serving as Parent Faculty Organization Membership Chairman.

Sunday August 29, 1981, Today Chad and Eric went with Kent to his  Ward Missionary meeting and Rachel came with me to visit Solemint Ward's Relief Society as part of my calling on the Stake Relief Society Board. We had a nice time together, and got back in time to attend Primary and Sunday School.

Nursery

I accepted a call to work in the Nursery for the next 6 months. It will be perfect for Eric because he's due to go in next month anyway and isn't quite ready to have me leave him alone.

Mom: August 29, 1981,Chad almost missed the bus one day...he was piddling around  insisting on wearing a certain sweater even though it would be 90 degrees that day and when he went out the bus was there and he had to run  fortunately the driver saw him and waited but he stopped just before it and began to cry  until Chris White's mom, who was standing at the bus stop put her arm around him and put him on the bus.  After that he was real panic struck about missing the bus he lays his clothes out the night before and wants to leave for the stop before 7:30 which is the time we've taught him to go (the buss comes at 7:38.  He goes to bed at 7:30pm and leaves for the bus at 7:30am.

Kent gave Chad a wrist watch that was left over at school and

Chad can tell what hour it is by the little hand

One time before school while saying prayers Chad said "Please bless all the children that they'll be good and Mrs. Neary won't be mad at them." Chad went to a birthday slumber party at Jacob Young's gave him some swim goggles. He came home with a Star wars figure.  H was real cranky the next day and I wonder if he got any sleep at all in the tent with his boy friends at the Youngs.  When he got back from the party Saturday morning he didn't want to go down to the church for the Primary ("Around the World" fair but we coaxed him into going by telling him Sister Dee (Bartholomew) is teacher would miss him.  He really likes her and always says "Sister Dee likes Me."  and that softened him a little, then we said we didn't think he could shuffle his feet and be Hans  the little Dutch boy with blue pants.  Then he humored up and determined to go and show us.  It was a cute program  with each class having displays and food from all the countries and a song and activities from each country Chad's class had Denmark and we brought chocolate candy and Chad shuffled his feet like dancing.  "Goide dag" means "hello."

Mom: September 6, 1981, Chad got a fever yesterday and is lying down watching TV now, eyes bleary, complaining of a headache.

Mom: Sunday Sept 6, 1978, This week Timmy MacIlrath and his mother came over for lunch. Timmy is a friend of Chad's in kindergarten.

Dangerous Car Chase

Last Monday we went out for Family Home Evening and ate Kentucky

Fried chicken at Old Orchard school in Valencia. We avoided the adjoining park since there was a great crowd of teenagers there. Then a Police car chased one of the youth about 40 mph through the school grounds and came within 5 feet of were we were sitting on the school benches. We were blessed that all of the children were sitting up at the table and not in the line of the police car. Eric usually likes to meander about during dinner and I shudder to think what might have happened if he had been doing so then.

Today after Fast and Testimony meeting the children were very well behaved. Chad has a slight temperature and is lying down watching T.V., Kent is napping, Rachel is sitting on the kitchen table playing "house" with the dishes we bought her at Deseret Industries, and Eric smells like a runny bowel, and is climbing on everything and bugging everyone.

Dad: September 7, 1981, Yesterday Chad asked me how to spell zoo.

I said I don't know and he said Zoo.  This is the first word he has ever spelled except yes and no.  He is loud, robust, exciting and full of ideas.  He likes to come to me and asked me to make him a spaceship, I make him a paper airplane and he goes off with a scissors, tape and pens and transforms it into a spaceship.  Right now it is Sunday morning.

Chad Begins to Read

Friday he sounded out and read his first words by himself

"Dad's" and "liter" we brought him some root beer as a special treat since we got Rachel some dress up clothes and dishes.  It was Dad's Old Fashioned Root Beer in a 2-liter bottle.

Thursday Chad's school chum Timmy McIrath came over to play and his mom had lunch with us.  Yesterday when his Grandpa and

Grandma Brown came over he went swimming with them then lay down in his room and around on the floor and we noticed he was feverish.  His Dad and our home teacher Ernie Hicks gave him a blessing this morning.

Thursday September 17, 1981, I think I found a preschool program for Rachel at Old Orchard Park. It is really for four-year-olds, but they do not have enough to fill the class, so they are allowing three-year-olds to come in too. Rachel is so bright, and seems to need some more social stimulation than I can provide. Angela White and Heather Blair are going to enroll also. Rachel's favorite friend is Missy Mark. Her mother Vivian and I trade off babysitting a lot.

Mom: September 20, 1981, Chad was still lethargic the next day when his Gardiner relatives came over  his home teacher Brother Hicks called to check on him and Chad talked to him and said he was better.  He lay around when all his Gardiner relatives were here (there were 31 of us altogether) and stayed home from school Tuesday, Wednesday he was the ""special person" at school and got to lead everyone in the flag salute, take the attendance cards to the office and receive a smiling face ring.

Last Friday we all went to a water fall up Bouquet Canyon for a picnic  but then had to come home  Chad messed his pants. He was very upset about that and talked about hurting us with a stick he brought home with him  we all knew he was just upset about being the reason we had to come home early.

Yesterday he went to Joseph Whitelocks birthday party and gave

him an air gun with ping-pong balls it shot out.

Kent had to go back to work this week and stay late several nights because of classes he was taking at CSUN.  Chad kept listening for and talking about when he would come home - he really missed him.  Friday he showed him a book he got at CSUN.  bookstore about dinosaurs  it had really neat pictures in it.

Saturday Kent took him swimming and Mom and Dad alternately helped him put together a paper racecar set he got at Joseph's birthday party.

Wednesday September 23, 1981, I went to a Parent-Teacher conference for Chad with Mrs. Neary. She is very hard on the kids, although she has a good curriculum and she seems to perceive Chad's growth and progress well. He is inconsistent in his work and attention....sometimes outstanding and very sharp(tm)other times dull and slow, not following directions. I don't really understand it except as immaturity. I suppose he's doing well for him. He's so hyperactive. Lately he's been real aggressive too. I talked to Kent about it and he said he thought self esteem had a lot to do with it. He told about how last Sunday he and Chad were really struggling with each other in Sacrament meeting. He felt like belting him, but instead put his arm around Chad. Chad resisted, so he put his hand on his knee and Chad though that was all right. Pretty soon, Chad was on his lap as tame as a kitten. I've tried it, greeting him in the morning with hugs, praise, and "How's my Great Chad today? We're going to have a great day, aren't we?" It helps a lot. I'm not quite sure what to do to encourage him to be more conscientious in his work though. He reminds me of Kent a lot.

Dependency on God

Sunday September 27, 1981, The other day Rachel said evening family prayers and daddy told her to say a LONG prayer. So Rachel said: "Heavenly Father, Bless our whole family, and bless that we'll be safe. Bless our whole family and bless that we'll be save. Bless our whole family, and bless that we'll be safe," etc. over and over again. I am pleased that at least she realizes a dependency upon God for everything important to her. She used to always cling to me so much that I could hardly do anything. Now she is so independent and is hardly ever cuddly it seems. I miss that physical closeness. There is nothing quite so sweet as a precious little girl is, especially when she puts her little arms around your neck and squeezes. It is enough to melt the busiest and hardest of hearts.

Weaning Eric, Big Problem

Saturday October 10, 1981, We've been trying to wean Eric from all his night bottles and are enduring a LOT of crying in the mean time. When he finally does fall back to sleep, it's usually with his knees tucked up under his tummy and his bottom up in the air.

Mom: Sunday, October 18,1081, Chad has had the last three weeks off from school on this year round school program.  He has become bored and asked me when he could go back to school.  It's been confusing to him why some children are in school and he's not.  He seen children at his school (which offers both Traditional and Year Round Programs) when I've gone up there on PFO business (I'm the membership chairman for their Parent Faculty Organization).

We've had family school some days as I've reviewed the things with him (like spelling his last name, counting to 100, reading Frog Fun (a beginning reading book) his card sentence ring  he really fought me on going over those things  but then got upset when I acted like I wouldn't do it with him anymore.  Towards the end of his vacation he became irritable and cross  and Kent and I felt that he needed "the soft touch:"  more affection and attention from us  more gentle discipline.  It seemed to help.

A week ago Wednesday his grandpa Brown came out and we went Bouquet Canyon to explore the falls and drive around the cam.  Chad had a great time exploring.  We stopped at Lombardi Ranch on the way home and got some sweet melon and corn for dinner.  Later Chad said his grandpa brown was his favorite  he had a great time.

He played with many little neighbor friends but mostly with Rachel.  In fact he played more with her than anyone else and more than he ever has in the past.  They generally played quite well together too.

Tinges of Jealousy

Sunday October 18, 1981, I took a class learning how to make hair ribbons for Rachel in Relief Society homemaking. Today I taught Rachel's Nursery class (Rainbows) in church a lesson on "Small Animals". It was fun but exhausting. Last Friday was ward Talent Show. Eric really took to Debbie Blair patting her, cuddling up, wanting to sit on her lap, calling her "Mommy". At first I thought it was her yellow sweater, but he did it again during Sacrament Meeting today. I felt several tinges of jealousy, I confess. I guess he recognized her from the times we've been with their family visiting, picnicking, camping, exchanging babysitting, etc. He even tried to push Heather Blair off her lap so he could sit there. I kinda felt bad; he didn't want anything to do with me.

Monday October 19, 1981, Today we went to Grandpa Brown's office for immunization shots, then to his home for Family Home Evening and dinner. Chad and Rachel went home in Grandpa's car, and bought some chicken and complements for dinner. Chad dropped a glass cruet on his Corelle dish and it shattered all over the place.....kind of a mess to clean up, but fortunately, Grandma Brown was in Israel with Grandma Great and wasn't around to see it. For FHE we read postcards from mom, and a letter from David

(on his mission)  and then the kids played "Octopus" with Grandpa on the floor. They loved it, but we stopped it before too long for his sake. We had family prayers and Chad went for a walk with Grandpa. On the way home Kent sang funny songs with the children. Everyone was happy. Even Eric, who travels pretty well now (not so carsick like he used to get), and rides contentedly in his seat. Rachel looked so pretty in her dress and curls. Chad sat in front with us and was very companionable and grown up. He was happy to be back in school.

Trouble in Kindergarten

Mom: Sunday November 6, 1981, I have been quite concerned lately about Chad's kindergarten class.  His teacher possesses many good skills, but is frequently rather abrasive with children whom she thinks are out of line, and adults too  who can't figure out what she wants.  Chad has indicated in his private prayers "Please bless Mrs. Neary so that she won't yell at the children so much" ....and last Sunday in FHE he told us that she had gotten mad at him because he put his place matt in the wrong place.  He said she didn't get mad at him very much but she did at the other children a lot.  Thursday before last he was supposed to do a book report (tell the name of his book and what his favorite page was about) he didn't want to get out of bed.  He screamed and yelled, claimed everything hurt.  I teased and coaxed him into getting ready  play acted like I was him doing his book report the right way and wrong way.  I took him to school  and he did a marvelous job  Mrs. Neary didn't have to even coach him  he did it all by himself in a nice clear voice, used complete sentences, and held his book up for all to see.  I was pleased and so was his teacher.  He still complained about not feeling well after snack and story time, so I took him home.  his work has been slopped through lately too and one parent had told me now the teacher had publicly said "That's not very good" about Chad's work after asking him to hold it up  which greatly disappointed Chad.  I've been to the principal about this and confronted Mrs. Neary a little bit, too.  Mr. Hugger, the Principal did say I could move Chad to the K1 class  I've decided to back off a little and try to be more objective, more prayerful  I want what's best for Chad.

A couple of neighbor children  Craig and Laurissa  with whom he used to play have been ganging up on him a bit an so I only allow him to play with them individually.  We have a star system for him if he dresses and cleans up his room nicely by himself  more affection gentleness and occasionally talks about "choices" seem to help him with his frustrations and temper  he can't always choose what to do in life  but he can choose how he does it  and what consequences will come to him by the way he does things.

Hide and Seek

November 13, 1981, I am working on a velvet blazer almost done in fact. One day I looked everywhere for it and couldn't find it. I said a little prayer, then meditated for a moment, trying to imagine where the children might have put it....then in my mind I could see Eric putting it in the dirty clothes bin, like he has done to other clothes he's found lying around. I walked over to it, lifted the lid and searched through the clothes. And sure enough, there on the bottom was the jacket. He likes to think he's helping sometimes. Like emptying the dishwasher: he'll take the dishes out, stand on tiptoe, and throw them into the silverware drawer everything from eggbeaters to bottles, bowls to tablespoons.

A couple of Sundays ago, the kids wanted to go up and see Bishop Morris on the stand after Sacrament meeting. They said "Hi, Bishop," and he beamed "Hi, kids!" back, then turned to talk to someone else; so he didn't hear Rachel say, "We love you, Bishop. "She took a step forward and said it louder, "We love you, Bishop." He heard this time, and saying, "Aaaaah! he knelt down and held his arms out to her. To my surprise, shy Rachel ran forward and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. Bishop Morris really melted then, and I was very touched that she would feel such affection, trust, and reverence for the Lord's servants. May she always do so....

Kent and I've been concerned about Chad the last few week she's been having temper tantrums, expressing some real anger and frustrations.  He's been messing his pants sometimes, being sloppy with his work, complaining about school, saying he was going to be sick so he wouldn't have to go to school, expressing fear of his teacher Mrs. Neary, etc. So Kent and I felt that the situation at school was not helping him in his emotional maturity, so we switched him over to Rosedell's kindergarten, with Ms. Chris Hankla. For his sake I feel that this is best although I was sorry to do it. I felt that I was guided in being able to do this.

Trouble In Paradise

Mom: Sunday, November 1981, On the 6th Chad came in several times saying he didn't want to go to school the next day  he was going to be sick tomorrow and have to stay home.  We'd had a very nice Sunday afternoon  after church we had Sister Gayle Peters, the snake lady, up for dinner, then took her home and looked at her snakes, angora rabbit, and snapping turtle.  Chad touched a snake and saw her feed the snapping turtle.  But when we got home and it was time to go to bed he really had a temper tantrum because he didn't want to go to school.  So Kent said we had to do something to get him out.

Big Problem

Monday Chad came home from school really excited because he had been chair monitor and his teacher had told him he was a good citizen.  He spent 1/2 an hour that night before bed taping his papers all over his room.  But it was a one shot deal  she only did it that one time and the next day he was back to disliking school again.  So Thursday I made an appointment with Mr. Clark, the principal at Rosedell where he went to Fun for Fours.  I was very uncertain as to what to do so I prayed that if it was right everything would work out  a desirable alternative class or situation would be available and everything would go smoothly for the move.  Mr. Clark was very nice.  I focussed on Chad's reactions to school rather than the teacher's harshness  and he discovered 2 openings in Miss Hankla's class just that week  she was the best  most popular and positive of the kindergarten teachers.  He took me down to her class and the kids were playing some alphabet games everyone was laughing and having a great time there was a positive, pleasant spirit in the room.  I saw Joseph Whitelock across the street from us, Tyson Wooley, Jamee Whitaker from his Primary class and Sandy Samuels, Michelle Verden, Thomas, Darren and one other from Fun for Fours.  I knew Chad would feel at home quickly with his friends in the reverse classroom of his Preschool and be much happier.  Miss Hankla is a calm, building positive personality, and I could tell he thrive there.  I went back to Mr. Hugger, the Highlands Principal and told him of our decision to move Chad and he was very supportive of our position as parents.  Everything went so smoothly I knew it was right.

A New Start

The next day Mrs. Neary gave Chad a good bye party.  On the following Monday he started school  I stayed with him the first part then came back to get him and have him show me around the room.  Since we've made this move  he's been able to control his bowel movements without any problems  handle his frustrating and disappointments much more maturely, remembers and retains more information regarding what he's been taught and has done at school, exhibits enthusiasm for school  more interested in learning and trying new ideas, skills, sings songs he learns at school and shares other talents  and indicates a greater pride in his work.  I also overheard him telling his friend Chris White (still in his old class) that he liked his new class a lot better than Mrs. Neary's.  When I asked him why, he thought for a minute, shrugged and said "cuz". He is in the "watchdogs" group  the more advanced reading group between the 2 kindergartens and seems to be handling it well. The first day of work jobs he said he wasn't going to do any  he didn't know what do  but as soon as he figured it out he really got busy and had a good time.  As soon as he figured each one out he just played with them and didn't finish  so he didn't get a sticker, and he was a little bothered by it, but he said he was going to do more than he contracted for next time  so he could get from the grab bag too.

Dad: January 3, 1982 Interview with Chad: I had a very nice Christmas.  I showed love at Christmas.  When I die I'm going to take this book to Jesus Christ.  I got the next X Wing fighter.  I like it too much.  I got Yoda and the snake and his cane.  I got Chewbacca, a race set, 2 racecars a bank from Grandma, and a train from Grandma Great and for the whole family we got an ice cream maker.  I have started to play cars with Craig more now.  Today, at Fast Sunday, Chad said his testimony.  "I am thankful for my family and the church and I'm thankful for Heavenly Father.  In the name of Jesus Christ Amen"

I think I'm showing love to Heavenly Father when I act nice.  I

love Heavenly Father a lot and I'm so glad that he sent me to this earth.  I love Heavenly Father.

Children Crackers

Wednesday, March 3, 1982, A week ago Sunday I was alone in Sacrament Meeting with Chad 5 1/2, Rachel 4, and Eric 23 months. Eric had stayed the whole time without a nap, and now was uncontrollably hungry and tired and restless. The other two were also, but mainly restless. Kent was home taking a nap not feeling well. I sat on the front row and gave Chad crackers, paper and pencils, and told him he was in charge. Then I walked around outside with Eric, fighting back the tears. I went back in for the Sacrament because I yearned for it enough to struggle through it with the kids. As soon as the boys sat down I was walking out with Eric again and ran into Kent. I told him to please "never leave me alone in church with 3 kids again!" After church I told the Bishop that making it through Sacrament meeting in the afternoon with little children was the hardest job I'd ever done in the church. As tough as it is sometimes though, I believe that the seeds that I sow in my children will someday bear much fruit.

March 1982, Friday evening, Grandma and Grandpa Gardiner had Chad and Rachel spend the night at their house and then travel down with them and their Reese cousins Jennifer and Julie to see their Blunck cousins in San Diego for Cindy Blunk's Birthday party. The kids were so excited. I am very grateful for my husband's parents, and for their willingness to build good memories with my children.  Sunday Rachel gave her first talk in Primary all by herself. I made pictures of what she wanted to say and put it in her purse, then sat way in the back of the chapel. I didn't know if she would do it or not. But she followed a real confident girl, and when it was her turn, walked slowly up. She stood there for a moment, then said very loud and clear: "I'm thankful for my friends....and my daddy and mommy, and my brother, and my other brother Eric, and my church....Amen" I was so proud of her, and relieved.

Chad then bore his testimony in Fast and Testimony meeting. I was holding Eric in the back and he sat up by the Bishop all  by himself. When he went up to the mike, he was pretty nervous, so Brother Greg Beeston whispered in his ear a moment and then he started out. He said he was thankful for his family. He knew the Holy Ghost was true (the Bishop's daughter had just been confirmed) and that he hoped no crooks would get him. He did a fine job. It was payday for me.

Tonight for Family Home Evening Kent measured, weighed and outlined the children's hands and feet and their bodies in their journals. Then we dropped cupcakes and a letter of appreciation by Bishop Morris's house and visited with him and his family a moment. He's special: I especially appreciate the attention he gives my children and how he teaches and reinforces gospel principles such as tithing with them.

Really Neat

Mom: February 8, 1982, Never a school day goes by now that Chad doesn't have something to tell us that was "really neat" that they did  weather it was making a windmill and discussing air pressure and wind to making snowflakes and studying weather; studying the heart and playing jump rope (taking pulse rate) and having a Chinese dragon parade on Chinese New Years.  He learned the Hanaakuh Song so well he sings it quite a bit...even announced on Hannakuh Dad (Dec 21) that it was a special day and he couldn't play with his friends.  Lately he's been saying (everyday for the last couple of weeks) that his favorite time is reading with Mrs. Goldwater.  Kent and I are delighted with his obvious growth and enjoyment of school.  It has been confirmed to us many times that the Lord guided us in making this move for Chad's sake....One day Chad even wrote "I love Miss Hankla" on his sharing bag.

At School Chad made a gingerbread house out of milk carton graham crackers, ready made frosting and candies.  It was darling.  I took a picture of him with it (after helping him make it at school) and of his friends Tony Gussner, Joseph Whitelock, Michele Virden, Tyson Woolley and Jamie Whitaker.

Christmas

He sang in his school's Frontier days; Winter sing and really liked dressing up like a cowboy.  In the ward Christmas party he was a blue bird in the skit: "Angels and lambs, Fireflies and Ladybugs."  He liked the song "Butterfly, Butterfly Open Your Wings, fly away to Bethlehem shall we sing.."  He got a little race car from Santa  but traded it for one of a different color since he already had one just like it at home (Santa Claus was played by Brother Skip Amy

Christmas Eve we all went to Uncle Charlie's for lunch and played a game with Aunt Barbara, and got a candy cane.  Then on to Grandpa Brown's for Christmas Eve dinner with the missionaries.  He played checkers with some of the Elders before dinner and afterwards sat rather restlessly through my dad's Christmas scripture reading, but was excused to play with Rachel and "Grandma's toys" upstairs during testimony bearing time.  He was so excited (and loud about it) he could hardly contain himself.  Afterwards he helped pass out gifts (socks) apples and oranges that "Santa had left," and after the missionaries had gone home, and we'd had family prayers with them  we opened our presents from the Browns.  Chad got a bank with some money in it from Grandma and Grandpa and a train set from Grandma Great.

I think he was the first one up Christmas morning  looking in his stocking (he got Chewbocca and some bubblegum) and was very upset about having to get dressed and pose for pictures.  He wanted to dig right into his presents.  He had a little Hot Wheels car for his friends Chris White and Craig Mc Guire.  He visited a little while with the former, and most of the day with the latter.  The day after Christmas Chad had a great visit with his Gardiner family.  He was a little disappointed that his big cousin David Sekulick had moved to Clearfield Utah, and so had mostly girl cousins to play with.  But he was happy to get a fast  777 Race track from Aunt Karen and he and Ryan Blunk (4) hid in the back bedroom and played with it most of the afternoon and evening.

He had really looked forward to going to school with his daddy  but was unable to before starting back to school after the Holiday vacation.

At Rachel's party he was the Little Brown Bear, and helped direct "Duck, duck, goose," Right after the party Chad watched the original "King Kong" movie with all the scary prehistoric monsters.  He come down with a slight temperature afterwards and missed church that Sunday.  We've all been struggling to fight off a gastrointestinal flu  a virus of sorts.

Why Does The Indian Yell?

Yesterday was stake conference and our general authority visitor was Elder George P. Lee  a full-blooded Navajo and Indian placement Program graduate.  Chad and Rachel wanted to shake his hand afterwards and meet "the Indian who's President Kimball's helper"  He was quite a dynamic speaker and Chad wanted to know why he was yelling so much.  He told Chad he had a nice name  that he had a boy named Chad (age 11).

Mom: Sunday March 14,1982, Last weekend we took  Chad and Rachel over to Grandpa and Grandma Gardiner's to spend the night (Friday).  Chad filled the green "apple" bag filled with pajamas, clean shirt and socks, jacket, toothbrush.  He also brought Tigger along for company, not to be outdone by Rachel who brought her blanket and musical Teddy Bear.  He slept on the middle bed in Aunt Julie's room, stayed up and watched Dukes of Hazard and ate popcorn with Grandpa. He'd been so excited about it that it was all he could think of for days.  He slept on the way over, which was a good thing because

Saturday was a big day.  They left at 8 in the morning to go down to San Diego to visit his Blunk cousins for Cindy's birthday.  They had hot dogs in a picnic on the back lawn.  We gave Cindy a jump rope.  He slept on the way home.  Grandpa and Grandma pulled in to our house about 7pm  we had ribs, rice, salad and ice cream cones.  The children had grown closer to the grandparents and chatted away excitedly.  They brought home crayons, and coloring books, bubbles.

Chad's Primary teachers are Nancy Morgan and Jill Gussner.  There are about 25 children in his class, and they meet in about a 10 X 10 classroom.  I wrote a note to his teachers telling them that Chad meant more to us than anything in the world  and that we were deeply indebted to them for being "other mothers" in his life, helping us raise a future leader in the church, instilling in him a love of Primary, the church and gospel.  I also asked them to please notice him when he is being reverent, contributing to the lesson, setting an example, helping them or others, then he will do those things more often.  And when he doesn't do as he should, to please remind him in a quiet firm tactful manner  then compliment immediately when he improves, it will be easier for him.  I said that he was a good boy with a desire to please and get attention.  I also told them that I had prayed for some time that he would get a special teacher for his class.  I did this because I knew how difficult teaching young children can be  and how tremendously important it is, especially to parents.

Last Sunday Rachel gave her first talk in church by herself.

Inspired by her example  he decided to bear his testimony in fast and Testimony Meeting.  The Bishop's daughter's confirmation and gift of the Holy Ghost had just impressed him.  I encouraged him to go sit on the stand by the bishop, then had to go to the back of the chapel with Eric (who was squirming around, and yelling).

First Testimony No Crooks

Chad waited for his turn, then went up to the mike and said "HELLO!" real loud into the mike, then he got scared and stopped.  Brother Greg Beeston (Bishop's councilor) whispered in his ear a minute.  Then he said he was thankful for his family and church and he knew that the Holy Ghost was true.  He hoped that no crooks would get him.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.  Pretty good for a first time by himself.

Monday for FHE we did our measurements, frosted cupcakes, and went over to see the bishop to give him a letter telling him how much our family appreciated him.  Chad decorated some extra special one for the Bishop's decorated some extra special ones for the Bishop's daughter because he thought she was special since he remembered she had gotten the gift of the Holy Ghost in sacrament Meeting.  He suggested we give her two, and so we did.  I was going to leave the cupcakes and letter anonymously but the children wanted to go and visit, so we did.  I'm glad they sense that a Bishop is special.  One day Chad indicated that when Kent became a principal then maybe he could be a Bishop too.

The week before last Chad had spent some time in "the crate" at school (self imposed time out) because of some bug bites on his side and his foot hurt.  I suggested to his teacher that maybe he was wanting some more attention and so he was the flag holder at the patriotic assembly, and that week during class  and he seemed to do better.

Sunday March 21, 1982, Yesterday Kent took Chad, Rachel, and Eric to the snow while I worked on a paper for my COC technical writing class, and got some material to make some dresses for Rachel.

Sunday March 28, 1982, Wednesday last was tough day for me. I was very tired, and Eric threw a book at me and really bruised my gum over my right eyetooth. I also spent 2 hours on the phone trying to get a babysitter so that I could go to  the Relief Society Birthday dinner.

Godzilla!

A new boy, Douglas Mc Dermott moved into the neighborhood and

Chad's been playing with him a lot. Last night Doug came over to watch a "Godzilla" movie and eat popcorn.  I've been lining up friends for him everyday after school, since the last few weeks he's been so disappointed with no one to play with.  Last week he had Tyson Woolley over and they took a knife to the MagnaDoodle ($ 16 Christmas toy) and ruined it.  So, he's been doing extra

jobs to help pay it back.

Mom: Friday April 2, 1982, this morning Chad said the blessing on the breakfast.  He said: Bless us that we'll do what you want us to do.  And that we'll do lots of work, but it won't be too hard.  Bless us that we'll obey your commandments.  Bless us that we'll be a happy family.  And bless us that if a tornado comes that you'll help us to be safe.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

After all that I didn't have the heart to tell him he'd forgotten to ask a blessing on and give thanks for the food.  I just kissed him and said that was a very nice prayer.

Wednesday when we were reading from the Old Testament stories about the preexistence where Heavenly Father called great spirits to be prophets and mothers of special spirits here on earth (I added that last one).  Chad said "Like you, we're special and Heavenly Father called you to be our mother."  His tremendous spiritual understanding at such a young age awed me.

He has been going through the "almost 6" stage.  Ancy, restless, insistent, manipulative, angry one moment  meek, affectionate, helpful, mature and responsible the next.  This is a mini teenage rebellion stage, according to one child psychologist.  Kent asked me one night after a particularly trying day if there wasn't something we weren't doing for him that we should be.  I laughed and said no  his little personality was just expanding, testing its boundaries.   He is certainly a dear and delightful challenge.

 

I signed him up for T-Ball at the parks.  I was concerned about him getting a coach who might swear, set a bad example by not controlling anger, not being just and too competitive, holding practices on Sunday, smoking and drinking.  So I signed up Chad's daddy to be the coach.  The first practice is tomorrow.  I think this will be good for Chad and Kent.

Chad Teaches Primary

Mom: Sunday, April 11, 1982, This evening after Chad went to bed his teacher in the star B class Jill Gussner called to tell me how super Chad was.  She said that she based her whole lesson on a story that he told her during opening exercises in Primary about a discussion he'd had with a friend who didn't know about the resurrection.  He didn't think that your spirit came back to your body and you became alive again  he thought that the only way you could get to heaven was in a space ship  but Chad said he told him he knew that Jesus was alive and came back to his body and that we would too, and that we would be with Him in Heaven,.  Sister Gussner, a convert of just a few years, said that she'd had trouble preparing the lesson on Easter and that this story had helped her to teach it.  I'd been helping in Rachel's class across the hall and had heard him talking in class.  I thought that he was being disruptive, and asked him about it.  He said no, that he'd been helping with a story  his teacher confirmed it, slaying he was a real "star" today, shined very bright.  She said that she was impressed how smart he was.

Mouthing Off

Friday April 16, 1982, Wednesday I found out that Chad had been mouthing off in his reading group to the other kids and to Ms. Goldwater, his substitute teacher. I felt that this was starting a bad precedent, and I didn't want it to happen again. Kent didn't get home 'till 10:30 that night, so I knew that I had to handle it alone. I felt weighed down by this responsibility. So I knelt down in my room and prayed for help. I talked to Chad about it quietly, then had him pull down his pants and I spanked him on his bare bottom. Then I grabbed him from running to his room, hugged him, and talked to him again quietly. Then we knelt down and prayed together for Heavenly Father to help him make good decisions. Thursday morning we read about Daniel who ate good food and became strong and wise. I told him that you become wise when you made good decisions, and Chad said that when you do your best to make good decisions, Heavenly Father gives you extra help gives you wisdom. I thought  that was very profound. He told Ms. Goldwater that he was sorry and could he please have his paper (that he had refused to take the day before) She responded warmly and well. Then at lunch Thursday he prayed that he wouldn't do that bad thing he did any more. I praised him to Kent  last night at dinnertime for being so grown up about it.

I wrote the poem "To My Children's Other Mothers" largely on my feelings towards Chad and Rachel's teachers.

Wednesday, May 5, 1982, Today Chad woke up feverish, sore throat, nauseous, tired, etc. I had to steam open all Chad's invitations ad change the date to the 15th of May for his party. We were all pretty miserable all day. I got some 7up for the kids to sip.

Thursday May 6, 1982, Chad slept all day yesterday, woke up in a real chipper mood wanting to go to school. I managed to get he and Rachel off but decided he shouldn't play with friends after school.

Sunday May 9, 1982, Chad wanted to see Clash of the Titans for his birthday but it moved from the theater near us and was playing in Rosemead.  So I called and made arrangements for Chad to spend the night with my folks. Then they could bring him home Sunday night and have Mother's Day Dinner with us. I told my mom I'd like grandma Breiten to come also. I spent the whole day Saturday with Chad. We went to his T-Ball game in the morning, Rosedell Carnival, then the movie and my folks. He was practically purring from all the attention.

Monday May 10, 1982, Today I had to substitute coach Chad's T-Ball game for Kent because he couldn't get home in time from work. I had absolutely no idea what to do. Oh, well. 

Sunday May 30, 1982, The Gardiners had all the kids over for dinner. There were 17 grandchildren and about that many adults. It was a sit down dinner on china plates, etc. Very nice. I played with the kids outside awhile. Kent's stepmother is turning into a wonderful grandmother.

I took the kids to the park yesterday for a picnic and kite(tm)flying. We brought Larissa and Craig, two neighbor children, too.

Solvang and Santa Barbara

June 11, 1982, Kent took me up to Santa Barbara and Solvang while

Grandma Gardiner watched Chad, Rachel and Eric. When we picked up the kids they were pulling out all stops to impress and show off to us how much they missed us. Grandpa Gardiner said that if Chad were his child, he'd make him stop talking so loud.

That night after all of us were in bed asleep we woke up to find all the lights in the house on (including the outside lights) and Eric asleep in the hall across our doorway. Kent put him back in bed with a bottle and turned out the lights. The next morning we woke up to find the bathroom light on and Eric asleep across our doorway again. I guess he was making sure he knew exactly where we were. When I told a friend (Bob Garcia) this, he said, "Well, you know, you have to look out for these parents." It was very touching to both Kent and I. Is this part of turning the hearts of the children to their Parents?

Father's Day Weekend, 1982, Rachel and I went up with my folks to

Payson, Arizona for a Young family reunion in a rented large motor home. My brother Jim and his wife and two girls, and my sister Judy and husband and two children came too. It was pretty crowded. Rachel and Adam slept on the floor, while I slept on the back bed pressed to the rear wall, sharing it with Jenny and Christy, (my brother's babies) and Judy and her baby Lachelle. In Mesa we met Charlie and Barbara and their baby Jeremy, and my uncles, Robert, Floyd and their wives, and picked up Great Grandpa and Grandma Brown (Gr. Grandma is a Young) and drove up to the reunion. That night around the campfire our family came off with the most rewards: Great Grandpa for being the oldest patriarch; my brother Charlie for being the youngest father; My dad for being the patriarch with the most posterity present.

We stayed for church on Sunday, and Grandpa Brown (my dad) was the Sacrament meeting speaker. He spoke on the legacy we leave behind. On the way through Payson back home we stopped at McDonalds for lunch because that's were Rachel wanted to eat. She was so happy the whole trip. She was practically purring from all the attention. She smiled and prattled on to everyone and played with her little cousin. I was so glad that I brought her and that she could have something special just for her.

Last week of June 1982, I was just home from the Young Reunion  2 days when it was time to pack up and leave for Big Bear with my folks, grandmother, and all my brothers and sisters and their spouses and children (except David who's in New Zealand on his mission). It was delightful. We went for boat rides, walks, made puppets, had cooking shifts. I slept upstairs with grandma and Eric and had cooking detail with Grandma Breiten too. We fixed old-fashioned beans, cornbread, and Jell-O pretzel salad. We made a tape for David on his mission.

Where Do Babies Come From?

Mom: January 31, 1983, Tonight for Family Home Evening we officially told the children that we were expecting another baby.  They had been praying that Heavenly Father would send us another baby for some time especially Chad.  Kent had read to the children before dinner a Christian family book on how babies were born.  Chad had found it (I borrowed it from a neighbor who is also pregnant, Jan) and asked Kent to read it.  Then during FHE Kent said we had a special surprise for them then I told them that I went to Grandpa Brown who told me that yes, I did have a little baby's body growing inside of me.  Chad became so excite especially when we showed him some pictures of the developing baby from Time-Life Educational Reprint.  He kept turning over the pages and asking a million questions about every little detail.  He wanted to know why he didn't get to see Daddy's sperm go to the egg; (to tell him it was something special that only mommy's and daddy's got to see.)  Then he wanted to know if he could be in the hospital room and see the baby being born and was crushed when I told him that it wasn't aloud.  He kept insisting he wouldn't get in the way.  He asked questions for about 1/2 hour all about the baby's and mother's anatomy and wanted to know if he could take the pictures to bed with him.  I told him he could take to school the pictures on Friday.  He wanted to know if tomorrow was Friday, and said he could look at the pictures

and books in the car on the way to San Diego this weekend.

After we scooted him off into bed I saw him saying an extra long silent private prayer and I knew he was praying about the baby.  I had showed him a picture of us up in heaven with Heavenly Father before our bodies were ready for our spirits to come inside in FHE.  So when I went to kiss him good night he asked me a lot of questions about the preexistence.  He wanted to know why we had to be tested (I said so that Heavenly Father would know whether or not we would choose what was right).  Then he wanted to know why Satan tried to stop us and didn't want to do what Heavenly father said (and I said because he wanted to be boss and make everybody do whatever he said).  Then Chad said something very insightful and mature.  He said "sometimes I do that...I try not to...I need someone to help remind me to be good...I want to do what's right...I hope I always do try to, did I ever act that way?"  I said I tried not to and that's why we needed Mom's and Dad to help remind us to do what's right...And I told him that he'd get the "most improved kid" award (because he wants "most improved in math" award at school assembly.  He threw his arms around me and gave me a sweet hug and juicy kisses.

Mom: April 10, 1983 Chad started T-Ball.  He has a nice coach, Bob Emans.  He works with all the kids to help them learn how to play the right way.  Chad is doing better and better about concentrating on the ball during practice and the games.  He caught two balls during the first game, and hit the ball real hard when he came up to bat.

4 Movies

During his three-week vacation he went to see four movies.  He saw "Sword and the Stone" and "Winnie the Pooh" two times.  Once this happened with Amber and Heather Blair, the other time with Chris and Angela White.  Mommy took him to see "The Black Stallion Returns" with Chris White, and he liked it so much like got the book for Easter.  We also went to the library and got the book about the first Black Stallion Movie.  Daddy took him to see "Raiders of the Lost Arc."  There was one scary part that they went out to get a drink during so that they wouldn't see it.

Daddy also took him fishing.  They didn't catch anything this time, but they are going to buy some fishing poles, practice casting, and go again at the end of this month when trout season opens up.  Craig Mc Guire came over and spent the night with Chad Friday.  They slept in sleeping bags in the living room floor.  Chad didn't get very much sleep, but he still had a super day on Saturday.

Mom: Sunday, April 17, 1983, Yesterday Chad's team won in T-Ball game.  He was "excellent" (that's better than good") in school Friday.  He had a new little friend, Darrin Hoeval over to play, checked the E.T. Motion Picture book out of the library.  He is really showing a lot more maturity and self-controls  he really acts like the oldest.  He still prays for a baby boy, and was quite bothered last week when the coach said the team played like a bunch of girls.

Dad: April 24, 1983, Last Saturday Chad played T-ball.  After the game it is traditional to have a treat; juice and a cookie.  On this day a parent had a can of coke for each child.  Chad was thirsty.  He snatched up the drink and looked down at it.  He thought about it for a minute and then looked up at me and said, "Does this have caffeine in it?"  "Yes." "Oh but I want it dad! Okay"  It's up to you Chad but our family usually doesn't drink that.  A few minutes later Chad walked back to the freezer and put it back when he came back to the group I told him we would go to 7/11 for a drink of his choice.  "Do you mean any drink, Dad?"  "Yes."  He enjoyed a 65-cent root beer ten minutes later.

7 Years Old

Mom: May 8, 1983, Chad has been acting much more grown up these days, more subdued and in control of himself, and more helpful.  Last Monday he planned the Family Home Evening lesson from his primary Lesson "Come Follow Me".  He had 2 footprints with words "come" and "follow me" that we could try to step on.  He said we could follow Jesus by doing 3 things 1) telling the truth 2) Being good 3) Honoring (loving) our parents (He remembered Daddy's lesson on that last subject).  He said if we would do those three things we would live with him again someday.  He made a black outline of himself on pink paper for me for Mother's Day hid it in his room until Saturday night, couldn't wait any longer and gave it to me then.  He hung it on a nail in the family Room. Yesterday Grandpa and Grandma Brown and some of the Brown aunts and uncles and cousins came out for dinner  really to celebrate Mother's Day, but we celebrated Chad's birthday too.  We gave him a Fisher Price Phonograph, an ET Record and book, Black Stallion Record and book and Annie Record.  He also got new shoes and socks.  Today we made a birthday cake with blue frosting in the middle and chocolate frosting on top.  He and Chris White are planning a Talent Show at the church.

Dad: In May 1983 we went to Kings Canyon.  The older Bietler Boys tended to keep to themselves and leave Chad out however he handled it well.  Rachel slipped and fell into the water while Daddy was holding her hand.  We had a good time hiking, fishing, and enjoying the great outdoors.

May 29, 1983, Kent took Chad and Rachel with him to King's Canyon

in the High Sierra's to camp with the 3 Beitler brothers and their children for the weekend. Eric and I came out to Grandpa Browns so he wouldn't feel left out. He's had more fun following his Uncle David and "Bompa" around, doing whatever they do and asking a million questions, etc. 

Rye-Guy is Born

Dad: In July 1983 Ryan is born.  Chad's prayer is answered, it's a boy.  Chad drew a picture of Mom and Eric in bed together.  They spend a lot of time together there.  Chad spent some time with Grandpa Brown and Lady and Dutchess while all of this was going on.

July 22, 1983, Soon after Eric was born Chad began asking when we were going to have our next baby. I told him to wait until Eric was two years old. Several of the children's friends (the Whites and Blairs) had babies in '82, and Chad and Rachel began to pester us again. We told them to ask Heavenly Father. They began praying in earnest for another baby in family and private prayers. Chad in particular prayed fervently for another brother. I was about three months pregnant with Ryan when I heard Chad praying "Well, I think we're about ready for that baby now" and I looked at Kent and said, "I think we should tell them, don't you?" We waited until I was over the sickness and just beginning to show (then it wouldn't seem so long to them). We told them in a special family home evening at about 3 1/2 months. Chad was ecstatic, and announced his prayers had been answered. Eric immediately had a baby in his tummy too give you kisses and brought him blankets and toys to play with even though he was still inside my womb and added him and his baby to his prayer list of getting home safely. He'd pray "Daddy get home, Mommy get home, Chad get home, Rachel get home, Eric get home, Mommy's baby get home, my baby get home, Je'us too, AMEN!" And sweet good Rachel prayed that he would be healthy and strong.

We went to stay at the Brown grandparents the week before Ryan was born. The children were happy playing with the dogs and going for walks with grandpa. Chad would run ahead and Rachel and Eric would sweetly, trustingly hold onto grandpa's hands. Grandpa Brown later said that it struck him that we need to be like children and hold onto our Father in Heaven's hands as we walk through life.

I was anxious to have Ryan that weekend, because on Monday July 25th.  Chad and Rachel were to start back to school on the four vacation plan, and I wanted to have the baby and get back home so that I could show the children their new classes and get them off to school on that first day.

Thursday evening the 21st, we went to the Puente Hills mall, and bought Chad some pajamas, and fried ham the next morning, Ryan was born. Chad was very excited to have a little brother and again announced that his prayers had been answered. Rachel was somewhat disappointed that Ryan was not a girl, but she became pacified to learn that he'd be sleeping in her room (much to the jealousy of her two other brothers who wanted him in their room), and that his name started with an R like hers.

She really became a little mother to him and a big help to me. Ryan was almost as big as she was and she would lug him around the house to wherever she was playing and give him her toys to suck and clutch, prop him on her blankets and pillows beside her in every room and in front of the TV with her. She loved to get him laughing and change his paper diapers by herself (faster than her mother), wash his hair, and laugh at him. She even brought him to school for sharing the week she was Yankee Doodle Dandy in kindergarten and showed her classmates how efficiently she could change his diapers. All the children wanted to touch, kiss, and hold him. At her class Christmas party (I was the room mother) nearly each child in the room came over and gave Ryan a big hub and kiss when Ms. Hankla (Rachel's teacher asked them to give a warm fuzzy to someone. At Thanksgiving time Rachel said that she was most thankful for Ryan. Eric now prays, "Bless the baby get safe and strong" in his prayers.

An Excellent Swimmer

Mom: August 21, 1983, Mrs. Harrison is Chad's teacher in second grade. His friends are Brian Coleman, Brent Haggis, Tyson Woolley, Jamie Whitaker, Tracy Swanson, Chris Owens, Tony Gussner and Chris White. Chad is in the advanced beginners, very good for one so long, the teacher says. Most children are 9 or 10 and have gone through it 2 or 3 times before passing.  He'll not only pass off advanced beginners class but most of the intermediate skills as well.  Lessons are at Le Blanc's house.  The teacher's name is Kitty.

September 4, 1983, We blessed Ryan in Fast and Testimony Meeting. Chad bore his testimony. He said that he was grateful for his grandma and grandpa and his new baby. Kent bore his testimony too. He told about noticing that Eric had his shoes on the wrong feet one day. When he told him, Eric looked up at him and said: "But Daddy, I can't change my feet!"

Dad: This Halloween Chad is dressed up as a Robot.  Craig is an astronaut.  Chad is playing soccer and has a loud coach.  We got a new van, blue.  Chad earned a "Heman" with points from doing his jobs.  He really likes playing with it. It seems as if most of Chad's life he has played "guys" with either Star Wars Figures or other little people.  He poses them in trees, bushes, over dirt ravines or in the house on the floor or furniture.  He enjoys the fantasy and wonder of a miniaturized world.

Dad: Jan 22, 1984, We watched Mickey's Christmas with the Rescuer.  We went to Grandpas.  We started to write ink handwriting.  Chad knows his a d and g.  He started with the small letters.

Dad: January 30, 1984, Chad goes to school at 8:15 and all the Eric said "Hurry, Chad it's almost 30 o'clock."  Rachel looks incredulous and says, "There is no such thing as thirty o'clock it's 3:00 o'clock."  It was 8:15 all the time.

Rachel's Fingernails

Saturday Feb 4, 1984, For my birthday on Thursday Kent took

Rachel shopping at K-Mart and came back with presents and some groceries. Rachel gave me some nail polish, a deep burgundy color, very pretty. I told her that we could share it. Unfortunately, I'd broken a nail off the day before. She suggested I buy fake nails, then I could use one, and she could put on the rest. She wants to have long shaped nails like me and wishes I'd use nail polish more often. To please her, I put it on yesterday. Wearing nail polish always seemed like a waste of time and money. But Rachel has such a love  of extra touches and feminine pretty things. I will wear it for her.

Kent gave me some silk flowers, including a yellow one that Rachel picked out. We had strawberry ice cream cones for dessert. I stuck a candle in mine, and Kent and the children sang "Happy Birthday" to me with Chad adding, "and many more on channel 4!" Rachel asked what I wished for, and I told her "a forever family". Eric can't wait 'till his birthday next month.

I know and believe deep in my heart that none of the superficial things such as the plaudits of men will bring any lasting value. If I got to the end of my life and had everything but my family, I would be the most wretched and poor of all people. Even the loss of just one of my children would bring incomparable sorrow to me. On the other hand, if in the sunset of my life I had nothing but my husband and all of my children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, I would be most wealthy and gratified.

February 7, 1984, I got the children off to school. Eric has been attending "New Beginnings over at the Boys and Girls Club at Emblem Elementary School. The director is LDS, Kay Hansen, the wife of the former Bishop in Saugus I ward, a very sweet grandmotherly type woman. Eric has been attending with several of his LDS friends here in the tract, like Kelly White, Jeff Pfahler, Aaron Blair. He goes from 8:15 to 11:15 (approx.) But I've had a tough time getting him moving lately in the morning. He says every morning that he's sick and doesn't feel very good and has a headache and so he can't do his jobs or get dressed or go to school. He can just lie on the floor and watch TV.

Chad helped Eric this morning and hurried with his jobs. He seems to be growing more responsible.

I permed Rachel's hair yesterday it took me four hours! But it looks real cute, she looks like Annie.

Dad: March 11, 1984 Chad won the Gold Medal for reading 20 books in the Reading Olympics.  Chad is enjoying skating, although he has taken a few tumbles.  He enjoys ice cream, still likes dinosaurs.  Chad got a Godzilla from a garage sale at Doug Mc Dermotts. This fits right in with his other fantasy play "guys."  Brent and Chad saw the film "Gremlins." We also saw the "Karate Kid."

Saturday March 24, 1984, Today we are celebrating Eric's birthday (it's Monday, really). We had to work out the time with Kelly Shite's family. Her birthday is today, two days before Eric's. He invited only four friends: Aaron Blair, Kelly White, Jeff Pfahler (3 LDS friends that he car pools to Preschool with) and Lizzy McGuire, a little neighbor girl 6 months older than him. He wants to go to Centurion Park, have with cupcakes with black licorice, and invite Aaron's bit sisters Heather and Amber. We'll have Hot Dogs and chips. I got a little writing pad for each of them with their name on it, a pack of sugarless bubble gum and a helium balloon for each child. We also got him Cowboy boots, a ping-pong ball gun, and an air pump racing car. He's so funny: all morning long while the others are in school he harasses me about getting one of his four friends for him to play with. After we've called all of them and can't get one to play, he lies around watching TV, typing "letters" on the typewriter (which he puts in Lizzy's mailbox anonymously) and asks me for treats "because he's been real good". He has such a TEMPER! He gets so frustrated if things aren't just right, his bed must be straight with no bubbles, his drawer must open and shut good, his pants must button, etc.

On Wednesdays I've been trying to fix a really nice dinner for the family. Last Wednesday I fixed Meat balls, cottage potatoes, Chinese green beans, French bread, salad with ranch dressing, onion soup, and fresh pear pie. The kids liked the French bread - which was all. Ryan was real cranky all day today and didn't take his nap.

Wednesday March 28, 1984, Saturday was Eric's birthday party. We went to the park (Centurion across from Blairs). Kent didn't realize what time the party was and went to look at a car with his friend Kevin Large, and consequently arrived when it was nearly over. I had a terrible time! The wind was blowing everything away, I couldn't get the Bar B Q started or wait on the kids fast enough. Ryan was crawling around on the grass whimpering (he hadn't eaten in 5 hours) Eric was having fits because things weren't going exactly right.....In the end Eric was thrilled with his presents; his four friends liked their complementary gifts, Ryan and I survived, and Kent and his friend cleaned up after the party.  Ryan has a bad cold, and I hate to leave him or take him out.

Thursday March 29, 1984, Eric just told me something real cute a leadership lesson. He has a little friend, Aaron Blair over to play. I gave them each some jelly beans to eat. Eric came to me and said that Aaron had shared some of his jelly- beans with him. I said "Well, you better share something with him, then." And Eric said, "I don't have to, I'm captain of the club." So I said, "But the captain is supposed to share the most and be the nicest so he can set an example for the others." Eric though for a moment and then said, "Welllllll, Aaron is the captain of the club." And then he skipped off to go play with him again.

Tuesday April 3, 1984, Chad has been taking some after school drama classes with Mr. Pavini. And Rachel is taking some gymnastics classes (at COC?).

May 2, 1984, Easter Vacation seemed very busy. We rented a video

camera and port-a-pac VCR and took pictures of the family at Grandpa Gardiners for lunch and Grandpa Brown's for dinner and an Easter Egg Hunt. A bit of excitement happened when the Bar B Q area at the Browns caught fire, but (Thank the Lord!) it was put out immediately by Uncle Mike Wooten. The fire truck came too. On Tuesday we took pictures of the kids and their friends, and took the children to see "Greystoke, the Legend of Tarzan". Friday I got Rachel's Easter dress, and on Saturday last took Chad to Sears to try on a suit for his 8th Birthday. The children also spilled glue on the dining room table and chairs. aaagh! The week of April 2227 I finished Chad's Baptism invitations.

8 Years Old

Dad: May 12, 1984, I baptized Chad today.  On the way over to the Stake Center he asked me how tall he was when he was born.  I told him.  he points to the bottom of his leg and said, "Dad, look how much I have grown."  He helped set up the chairs at the church.  I had trouble because I just got the flu.  However I filled the font, fixed the filmstrip projector and just lay down.  In walked Suzanne.  There I lay on the floor of the Santa Clarity valley Stake Center.  Tired.  Chad had a new suit on and I wore my pinstripe suit.  I baptized him and when he got out he said "I'm all clean now."  During the confirmation I felt the spirit strongly and felt inspired.  Everyone except John came over and ate dinner.  Grandma Great said it was the best baptism she had ever been to.

Saturday May 12, 1984, Today was a very special day for me my oldest son was baptized. Before I left for the stake center at 2:15, I knelt beside my bed and prayed that the temporal and spiritual preparations would be acceptable to the Lord, that His Spirit would ratify the ordinance and proceedings. I prayed that Chad would truly be born again and endure to the end, and that

his posterity would be saved as well.

There were so many last minute things that came up but somehow it all came together. Chad looked very handsome and proud in his new suit. His nonmember friends Tracy, Jenny, and Brian Swanson came with their dad and seemed to enjoy the program. I was particularly pleased that their father decided to stay. (I prayed that he would.) Chad is a missionary already. He has a crush on the twins, Tracy and Jenny, but is sad because he knows that he can't marry either of them because they aren't members....so I figured we better do our missionary work. Someday, one of them may become a  mother to my grandchildren. Somewhere down the line, we're going to be grateful that someone did their missionary work, because their impact may be felt on our descendants. All in all, I believe that it was acceptable to my Father in Heaven. Everyone said it was special which tells me that Heavenly Father's spirit approved it. All the family members took part, grandpas gave talks, grandmas said prayers, aunts and mother sang, cousins and friends sang too, Daddy performed ordinances, grandpas were witnesses, uncles and grandpas assisted in the confirmation. Brother Randy Favero from the Bishopric conducted and presided at the meeting. I cried during his confirmation as the Spirit touched me, and Kent said that the Lord was pleased with Chad and that he would be able to recognize and understand the prompting of the Spirit. He also blessed him that he would be true to the Lord's commandments and church. I prayed in my heart that he would be a good example and missionary, and through his efforts many would come to the truth.

We had hot dogs, chips, soda, and fresh fruit and vegetables afterwards. (We had ice cream and cones, too, but forgot to serve them.)

Some notes on planning a family baptism:

1 month:     approve date and program with the Bishop clear building, plan for 3 hours: 1 hour to fill font, 1 hour for program, and 1 hour to clean u       

3 weeks:     program assignments, talks, etc. Arrange for music

2 weeks:     Interview with Bishop, recommend and certificate invitations with maps, remember Primary teacher's class, home teachers, nonmember friends, relatives

12 weeks:  Arrange keys to building and clothes closet, filmstrip and

projector, cassette player, screen, cameras

27 days:     programs printed: 2 sides, picture front,            

biographical paragraph and agenda

         extra chairs, tables from church for dinner

         afterwards, back up video camera, tape recorders,

         tapes, stands, someone to run filmstrip, recorders,

         cameras

         food assignments and call friends

         birthday presents: suit, scripture tote with name

1 day:         Kent's white temple clothes,

         towels, and dry underwear, brush, change of clothes

         other children pass out programs, sit by grandparents

         baptismal recommend and certificate

We forgot towels, a screen, Kent's temple clothes, a video camera (any working camera) almost the recommend and certificate, the bishopric member to conduct (found that out in the morning, etc. But it all came through, worked out.

I had a hard time with the programs I went to Glenns to Xerox-used blue paper when we turned sheets over to do both sides, the paper kept catching, getting stuck, or crinkling. We eventually got 40 usable copies. It took at least 45 minutes, I didn't know what to do, kept praying in my heart. As I drove off, I chuckled to myself as I thought how my faith finally triumphed in those 40 (out of 50) slightly crinkled programs.

Brother Randy Favero added a lot of special thoughtful last minute touches in helping all to go smoothly. Poor Kent was so sick with the flu he could hardly do anything.

Sunday August 12, 1984, I am attending my John Jones reunion. I called home to Kent and the children, and told them  I had a surprise they could eat (some stick candy) that I was bringing home for them. Eric said that he and some of the others had been sick. Kent said mostly Eric, Ryan a little, had a temperature and were on antibiotic. Kent said that he was spending all of his time taking care of the kids and cleaning house and couldn't do anything else.

August 17, 1984, I have just returned from my Jones reunion trip and Kent told me about the children and how  Rachel "saved Ryan". It seems that while I was gone Eric had the flu temperature, etc. got some medicine and snapped out of it. Then Ryan came down with it on Tuesday. His temperature went up and down, but mostly up in the evening. Kent put him on the floor with Rachel while he took a shower. After he got out he noticed that Ryan was lying very still on the floor. Then Rachel commented that he was REALLY looking up at the ceiling a lot. Kent tuned in that something was odd and went over to see. Ryan was as white as a ghost and his eyes were rolled back in their socket so that only white was showing. Kent picked him up but he was limp and not breathing. Kent rushed him into the bathroom and began breathing into him and splashing water on him to cool him down. Ryan came too and began clapping his hands and smiling. We found out later that it was a heat convulsion. It was very scary, and Rachel credits herself with rescuing him so quickly.

Sunday, August 19, 1984, Yesterday Johanna and Glenn Goodman and their six children came over (their staying with the Browns for a week) and we took the kids to the park and swimming, boiled some hot dogs, and had ice cream. Then I cut the boys hair in our family and we went out to my folks for family get together and picture taking. We didn't get started taking pictures until almost 9:00pm, and then it was a ZOO! Children crying, my mother panicking and wanting to quit. But somehow we all persisted. Dick Smith, the photographer endured, and Jim and Brenda Smith taking videocassette recordings encouraged us. It was the first time all the Browns had been together in 19 years!

I plan to be a lucky grandma to MANY righteous grandchildren, by each of my children.

Sunday November 4, 1984, I've spent a frustrating last six weeks trying to organize some activities to fill Eric's time with. He gets so bored during the day and wants so badly to play with his friends, most of whom are involved in a little Joy School that has no room for him. I got him in Rosedell's Fun for Fours with Carol Elvington on Monday and Wednesday afternoons, and finally, after 50 plus phone calls, notices through the school and six weeks, finally found three other mothers of four year olds who wanted to form a little Joy School preschool group with me. The other children are Ritchie Rees, Nicholas  ? , and Danae Rodela. Eric REALLY enjoys it, needs the direction, structure, and socialization. We meet on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, on TV.

Mom: Jan 27, 1985, Chad is drawing a picture in his Journal.  The top half is Marcie Sanchez who is amazed at all the presents she is receiving.  We found out her name from County Community Services.  Eric's preschool put on a nativity production and we "charged" the families food stuff in order to attend it, then we caravaned down to their place  where they rented 1 room of a 3 room shock.  We Christmas caroled, left the presents and left as Marci asked "Marcie?...total?!?"  She couldn't believe it was all for her.

Mom: Jan 6, 1985, Interview with Mother,

Gift: Transformers, shockwave, prime and Soundwave

Improve in: Bike racing

Friends: Chris W, Craig M, Least favorite Seth P.

Good at: Everything     Bad at losing temper

Go: Chuck E. Cheese Pizza    Do: Roller skating, Camp Snoopy

Like school: tetherball    Dislike: work

Work on : Scouting

Mom: March 3, 1985, Interview with Mother

Food: Ice cream chocolate fudge

Gift: Soundwave, little cassette

Improve: Bike racing

Go: Camping, Camp Snoopy

Friends: Chris W. Craig M and Brent H.

Dislike: Work

Goal: Try to get a new Megatron from factory

Us help: Let's go on a family outing  do something fun together

once a month  all feel loved, this month: circus for Eric

Heavy Work

Mom: March 24, 1985, Yesterday Chad went with Kent to help clean up our first investment property.  They were gone 12 hours. When we came back we had a huge pile of trash in the back of the van.  Chad was so tired he just lay right on top of it all and went to sleep on the way home. Daddy said Chad was "marvelous" worker, earned $7  He plans to use it with his allowance to buy a "Dinabot" a robot dinosaur that is all the rage with boys these days.

Chad's temperament is evening out, and he is becoming more responsible and personable as he grows older.  He was voted mayor of a community in Social Studies.  The rules of the community for the president are 1) You must finish all your work, 2) Be nice, 3) Have a boyfriend or girlfriend.  Chad is in charge of social rules.  He decided drunks should go to jail, and child abusers should be executed.  he was also elected to student council from his room.  his teacher Mrs. Cummings says that he's so cute that she has a hard time being mad at him when he speaks out in class.  he is an extremely "social" person.

Mom: April 20, 1985

Favorite color: blue  

Toy:  Dinobots

Friend:  Chris W.

Food: ice cream

Activity:  ride bike and draw

Wish:  has everything he wants something hate homework

Need:  Dinobot

Proud of: only one in class who can draw Robotech

Would like to do: go to camp Snoopy

Bothering him: Eric hitting him, being tired makes him angry

Decision:  lose temper one time warning two times go to bed when others do and three times to bed earlier

Special about Chad: compassionate, friendly to others, honest share with others well

9 Years Old

Dad: It was about this time that we went again, to Kings Canyon.

We went on a really long hike to the campsite of about four miles.  We all had a lot of weight and were tired.  The last two miles were straight up.  Chad and Rachel didn't do very well.  He may remember falling down crying and saying he didn't want to go any further. He just sat in the middle of the trail and cried like a baby. It was a terrible scene.  We asked too much of him too early.  The pack was too big but I couldn't carry him and all

of his stuff.  The rest of the camping experience was nice.  He saw a snake, others catch fish and Chad enjoyed going around in the mountains without a pack.

Dad: Halloween, Oct 6, 1985 Chad is a pirate for Halloween. He enjoys dressing up with a special hat, sword, patch over his eye, gun, scare on his face, red shirt, short pants and getting lots of candy.  Chris was a ghost.  Eric was a skeleton and Rachel was a lovely, beautiful princess.

Mom: November 4, 1985, Goal: Finish picture for his club, he doesn't know what he is going to be yet.  Important in life, gospel, commandments, scriptures, the church, prophets and my parents.  Wants to go camping more.

Christmas, MASK, Muscles and Gobots

Mom: December 29, 1985, Favorite Christmas Presents:

Thunderhawk, mask. Camaro  from Grandma Brown,

Ant Farm  from Blunk cousins, Et game  from Aunt Audrey Kroksh

Jump-started Gobot that flies  from Grandma Gardiner

Boulder Hill, MASK base and gas station from Santa

Dad: Now Chad likes muscles. I've been teasing Chad lately that each month it is something new.  Last month it was MASH, the month before it was Star Wars.

Chad says: I like muscles now.  They are pink.  They come in different sizes.  I got them at K Mart and Clark Drugs.

Dad: We went to Raging Waters.   There are many water slides there that Chad really enjoyed.  Suzanne even went off the largest one, called Drop Out.  It was terrifying to Dad and the other children.  The kids chickened out too.

5th Grade  A Major Change 

Mom: July 28, 1986, Father's blessing night before starting 5th

Grade. Miss Kloe Bless enjoy time in school, studies, particularly science and social studies. Continue skills in reading, arithmetic, be popular, make friends, being a good one outside of school  develop skills in typing, sports, taking care of  younger children  being a baby sitter.

Dad: Chad got a scooter for Christmas this year.  He also got a survival knife, a mad ball and a pad of paper to draw on. When he went back to school he also began talking a lot about a girl named Ashley.  She likes other boys. One day he came home saying that he wanted to buy her a treat and she made fun of him and using him.  He is learning about girls.

Chad: Grandma Brown has cancer.  I love her a lot.

Dad: Chad ran for Boys Athletic Director and gave the following speech:  Good morning Mr. Moloznik, teachers, parents, and fellow classmates. My name is Chad Gardiner, and I'm running for Boys Athletic Director. Boy's Athletic Director is supposed to put up and take down the tetherballs, and make sure every classroom has all the needed equipment. He is also supposed to attend all student council meetings.

You should elect me because I am the best man for the job. Ill ride my bike to school early every morning to put up the tetherball. I get my work done each day in class and so I will have time to make sure everybody has the right equipment. I have lots of good ideas to share at the student council meetings. For instance, Id like to see more Football games, basketball games, and other competitions for the school.

I know that Chad Gardiner can be the very best one for this job.

So elect Chad Gardiner for Boys Athletic Director. Thank you.

Dad: He didn't win but gave it a good shot and was chosen as the alternate Boys Athletic representative. 

Chad June 28, 1987,

Grandma Brown is probably going to die this year.  She came and visited us and she ate over.  When she dies we will miss Grandma Brown.  A few days later Grandma Gardiner came over and we showed her the skit that we showed Grandma Brown, and that we used for Joy School.  I have a girl friend named Rebecca Jones.  She is better than Ashley Buckner. 

The Catalina Trip

My dad and me went to Catalina on a trip with the boy scouts. They had already been there two days before us and had gone on a one-mile hike and on an eleven-mile hike.  We came over on Catalina Cruises.  My dad almost got seasick.  Then we searched for a bus and found one, and drove over to Blackjack.  They met us there and we hiked about a mile and a quarter and got to Blackjack.  There was one food fight at Blackjack with chocolate pudding and it got a little out of hand at the end.  It was Robbie, Tim, Dean and David.  The next day we went on a six-mile hike, up and down but mostly down to Little Harbor.  I barely made it and tossed down my packs and we went rock climbing at the sides of the beach.  Then we went body surfing in the water.  My dad got Charlie horses on his upper and lower legs.  I had a lot of fun but my eyes singed from the salt water.  Then we went back, made a fire and set up our stuff.  We played spotlight for a while and then we went to bed.  The next day we hiked seven miles.  I hiked with my dad and it was a lot of fun.  We almost beat Tim and Dave and the guys to Two Harbors.  But we stopped and waited for them.  We met some bikers that were flying a trick kite that my dad wanted to get.  Then we hiked the rest of the way there and I barely made it.  It was the farthest I have ever hiked with a pack on.  We stayed there for a day and a half.  When we got there I tried to snorkel but I couldn't even get the mask on.  So I sat on the beach for a while, then helped everybody catch crabs, which later my dad got rid of.  So later after dinner we went out and got some more.  My dad was just about to make Tim get rid of them and I grabbed them and ran up the hill and hid behind a tree.  Wayne made them think I was hiding up by the campgrounds.  When my dad was up in the campgrounds I gave Tim the crabs.  Tim snuck around and put the crabs in his tent.  We wanted to do this so we could sacrifice them.  Then we build an illegal fire out of weeds.  My dad made us stop and we sat around for a while.  Then we tried to cook two crabs on a little stove.  It didn't work.  Tim tried to cook them by putting them in the fire.  And that didn't work.  Then we got out the real stove and really cooked them.  They turned orange after we cooked them.  They barely had any meat but we still ate them.  The bag had somehow disappeared.  And it is till a mystery to this day.  Then we hiked over to the dock and I went into the store and got some candy.  After that I played a video game called Ms Packman.  Then I went over to a big swing tied up to a tree and they were really swinging the people far.  I sat down with my dad and watched them.  I popped a bubble all over my face and tried to wipe it off with water, oil but clean all took it right off.  When we got on the Catalina Express you couldn't get  seasick because it went so fast.  When we got to the dock we got a ride home with Brother Balena and I got a cheese burger and large sprite and one and a half bag of fries.  I gave the rest to the others.  When I got home everybody was happy to see us because now they didn't have to do all the work.  And were demanding for a reward and a refund.  And wanted to got to the movies and go out to eat and get paid some more money, and said I had to do the work while they were at the movies. I had a good week and I have already got tired of some of the kids around here.

Fishing and Camping at Mammoth

Chad: August 2, 1987, This Summer I played with my friends and saw a movie called "Young Sherlock Holmes". Later we went camping at Red`s Meadow above Mammoth, with a stream behind our campsite. I went to see Sotcher Lake and went fishing there with my dad. My dad and I got up early one day to go fishing at the lake, and we accidentally brought Ryan. We forgot that his shoes were wet and we couldn't put them on him. We spent five minutes finding a spot to fish. And dad had to carry Ryan all around. I cast about four times and then got the line tangled. After we untangled it we discovered we didn't have enough line so we spent about ten minutes putting different line on. Then Ryan started crying because his feet were cold. Dad gave him two packs of Fun Fruits and he still cried. Then Chad sacrificed his gloves but he still screamed and kicked. So we went back to camp. Later that evening we went to Minaret Falls and everyone else there caught fish except us. Two kids gave us one. The next day early in the morning we fished until noon, and hadn't caught any fish. So I fished longer. Some people gave us some fish. And while I was eating lunch, I heard a yell that dad had finally caught a fish. So then Eric came and told me he found a cornered fish. So I went and picked it up and killed it. Eric claimed that it was his, because he found it. I fished with my dad longer and he caught another fish. Then Rachel caught a fish, and I didn't. So I kept fishing and it seemed like forever but I felt three tugs one time and I pulled out the rod and there was a fish dangling in the air. It was a small brown trout. But I didn't care because I was so glad that I finally caught a fish too. My Dad made me give up the rod to Eric .  I told the fish I would get his brother, but I must have lied, because I couldn't catch any other fish.  Eric fished for awhile and didn't catch any fish but then later a man helped him catch the smallest fish Id ever seen somewhere else. Then he caught the biggest fish Id ever seen. The man grabbed it in his hands and it slipped off and got away. We took pictures of each kid holding the fish and went home with the day's success. Ryan seemed to be the most interested in the fish. The next day we drove up out of Mammoth and through Yosemite and home.

Grandma Brown Dies

Then when we got home my mom called on the phone and started to cry. I listened for awhile and found out Grandma died. I walked in to tell Rachel and she was already crying too. She told me Eric was crying. Dad and me were the only ones who didn't cry. I just went in the front room and listened to songs of Bon Jovi and then went to bed. When we went to Grandpa and Grandmas on Sunday (the next day)  Mat and I were trying to slaughter Nate and Eric with plastic swords. After lunch I went out with Mat and Adam and Daniel to a dry field with dead trees. Matt and I were knocking off the dead tree branches, when I heard a scream and I looked up and I saw 7year old Adam screaming his head off and waving his arms around with twenty bumble bees going after him. I yelled at Matt to help him, and then ran to tell Adam's dad. I was the only one there who didn’t get stung. I had a head start of Adam, but he still beat me to the house. A bee came and was trying to sting my mom. Her hair was flipping and flopping everywhere, and it looked like my dad was trying to hit her head, but he was really trying to hit the bee. I found out later that Matt got stung under his eye and Daniel got stung on his head and twice on his neck and Adam got stung 19 times and Grandpa (our doctor) put him to sleep with medicine at grandma's funeral. We went home because school was the next day. We stayed at school for two hours and then went to my grandma's funeral.

Before the funeral I got to see Grandma's body, it didn't look like her at all. It looked like a rubber dummy of somebody else. The funeral was very longer than you think. The prayers and the songs were the longest I ever heard. My mom got the hardest talk: she had to tell about grandma. She cried during it twice. But everybody thought that it was good. I heard that grandpa bought two gravesites, one for grandma and one for him (next to each other). I got a ride with Grandpa behind the Hearst. It went very slow. You could see the policemen riding up and down past us. When we got there it was shorter than I expected. We all got a cookie. Then I went to Grandpa's church with Matt. When we got there I had a good meal provided by everybody. After that we had fun ditching Ben. After a while everyone was ditching Ben. I felt sorry for him, but he didn't look sad. Then it got out of hand and Ben and Matt got in trouble. We went home after that.

Five days later we went to Adam's Baptism, and then to grandpas and ate. Adam's favorite meal was chicken, and chocolate sundaes.

He told us about his cake that it was triple-decker chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and chocolate chips on top. After dinner we went home. 

Chad: August 23, 1987, This weekend I played with Doug .  Doug and I like to play veto games, Pit and I Like the games Donkey Kong jr. and fall 2.  Doug and I went to 711 and played their video games . We played victory road and every mouth we are going there again.

Chad: August 29, 1987, This week I invited Doug to go swimming with us.  He and I had a lot of fun. We played different games at the pool.  We like to toss our thongs in the water and watch them skid across. 

Beach Camping

Also this weekend we went to the beach overnight camping.  I heard of this place called the rapids but I never got to see it.  I also went boogie boarding a lot out in the water.  I spent the night in Shawn Standley's camper.  We ditched Eric until it was time for bed.  Then we saw Shawn's sister and her friend going for a walk so we followed them.  They kept seeing us so they went back and went to bed.  We were going to go fishing on the pier but the wood was rotten so we stayed and ate lunch and played on the playground.  So then we went back and went boogie boarding.  Shawn and I made up a new thing where you run and jump with your boogie board on the water as it washes up.  You go sliding downhill and you hit the next wave.  I tried it once and hit the dirt and hurt my head so I told Shawn that I didn't want to do it anymore.  Then I went home. 

Chad’s Thanksgiving Journal:

First on Wednesday we saw the ''Princess Bride''.  It was funny how the priest talked ,when he said "ring" it sounded like "wing."   When a guy challenged  another guy to a duel, the other guy started running away.

We spent Thanksgiving at aunt Judy's.  We had a big turkey but I had to eat with the kids, and that is a pain.  Adam and Eric drew while me and Dave watched TV and played "yakkies". I came in second place on my first time. 

On Friday me, Eric and dad got up at six and ate breakfast, got on some old clothes and got Chris Harrison, went down to the pier and met Dad's friend and fished off of the pier.  We fished with anchovies, we put a hook behind the gill and let them down into the water and let them swim around.  A fish is supposed to bite it and then you real it in.  Chris Harrison was the person who caught one and pulled it out of the water, but it was too small so he had to throw it back in the water.  Eric caught one but it got off of the hook.  Chris used Eric's rod and caught one and lifted it out of the water and it got off.  One time I let a fish go down and a bigger fish almost ate it, I pulled it out and there were teeth marks in the anchovies.  Another time I threw it out and a bird got it and I pulled it and the bird let go.  There were marks on that fish too, but it was barely alive.  We fished there from 8 till 1.

We went to the Grandpa's Saturday and all of our Brown cousins were there. Matt, Ben and I found a cool fort but we needed the entrance because the first one was stupid.  But it turned out that the one we needed was too small.  So we tried to go over it.  I was the first one to test it out.  And it broke and I fell into the fort.  So we fixed things back up again and left.  Later we found out that  Adam wrecked our fort.  So I chased him everywhere, and I caught him once, and he kept struggling and choking himself, so I let him go and forgot about it.  Later we were playing the picture game.  It was fun.  Adam's mom said that Adam had to play, he was on Ben's team. We were winning but Adam quit because of a dumb movie.  His mom said you can fix the fort but you can't fix my son.  I feel like choking you because you choked my son. I told her I didn't choke him.  But she wouldn't listen.  When dinnertime came all the rooms were taken and there were no seats, we had to eat on the breadboard, but we found a chair.  But they took it away, and said we had to be with them.  We wanted to know if we could have the bench.  They said no.

Chad is a Blazer

Dear Scouts and parents,

We had a great time at our table tennis tournaments. The boys really improved dramatically in just a short time. Congratulations to Chad Gardiner and Cordell Gatherum for winning the doubles tournament, and to Clint Riffo for winning the singles tournament. All the boys did terrific. Be sure to pick up the Sports Merit Badge book at Howard and Phils, the Library, or J. C. Penney’s, Sears, or the Scout Office on Ventura Blvd in the Valley. Complete the eight requirements having to do with this Merit Badge, and your two chosen sports. (These table tennis tournaments fill the requirement for participation in an individual sport). Then fill out the enclosed blue card and call up Brother Dave Riffo, 2550687 for an appointment to check them off. He will keep one portion of the card for his records, you must turn in another to either me or Brother Antone Gatherum (the Scoutmaster), and the third portion of the card you need to keep for your own records as proof that you've completed this badge.

Since Scouting is a new experience for many of you, I would like to take a minute to explain a little bit about Merit Badges to you. There are 21 Merit Badges that each boy must complete in order to get his Eagle Scout; 11 of these are required ones that every boy must get, while the remaining 10 are elective, or individual choice. The first required one is the First Aid Merit Badge, which each boy must complete before he can advance to First Class. After First Class, he must earn five more Merit badges (including three Eagle Scout required ones) for his Star Rank, and the same again for his Life. Then before he gets his Eagle Scout he will need ten more Merit Badges.  Merit Badges are harder and more involved than the skill awards that we primarily work on in Blazers and up until First Class.

Each Merit Badge has a corresponding book about it that you should get. You can get the Merit Badge books at most places that carry other scouting equipment, such as those places I listed above. It is a good idea to go ahead and get all of the books corresponding with the required Merit Badges now so that you have them on hand to work on over the coming months. Another good book to get is called "Boy Scout Requirements". It describes all of the requirements and gives helpful hints to achieve them. It also lists all of the available Merit Badges and states the requirements for each, so that you can preview them and decide which ones you're interested in. A list of just the required Merit Badges is found in your regular scout book under Eagle Scout advancement. If you'll notice, they list 14 Merit Badges, but you only need 11; three of them can be used as either a required one or an elective one. The Sports Merit Badge is one that can be used either way. Since my son Chad already earned his Swimming Merit Badge, his Sports Merit Badge will be an elective one for him.

The stake offers 11 Merit Badge clinics that correspond with the required Merit Badges for your Eagle Scout, which I encourage you to take advantage of. Most of the elective ones you can work on in your own time, and choose whatever interests you. Chad is working on his Fishing Merit Badge with his dad this Fall. During the Christmas Vacation, he is going to work on his Art Merit Badge. By working with him each Sunday afternoon and during the holidays, we hope that he can finish these before January. I encourage each of you parents to sit down with your scout at least once a week and look over what he needs to do and assist him. He will have a much better chance of succeeding if you help him, rather than just expecting him to figure out and accomplish everything on his own. Nearly every boy who becomes an Eagle Scout does so because it was a family priority and because he got tremendous POSITIVE support from them in reaching this goal. Some good scouting goals would be: First Class by age twelve, Eagle Scout by age fourteen to sixteen.

After completing the listed requirements for each Merit Badge, you should get a signed blue card from the scoutmaster and present it, your book, your fulfilled requirements, and yourself in uniform to a qualified Merit Badge Counselor, so that he can check you off. I have a list of all the approved Merit Badge Counselors in this Valley, and can tell you who they are for the ones you are working on. Also notice the three sections of the blue card. Make sure that the right people get each section, and save all 21 of yours in a safe place. You may need to show them when you go for your Eagle Scout Board of Review as proof that you have done them all if the other two records are lost. If there is no record or proof, then you may have to do some of the merit badges over again.

Our next Blazer Patrol meeting is Friday December 4th, where we will work on our Community Living Skill Award. In church, the boys will be giving the Primary Sharing time activity and your son has a part on the program Sunday November 29, from about 9:20 to 9:45 am.

We have three class goals that we are working on in Primary. The first one is for each boy to own or have access to a set of scriptures and to bring them to church every Sunday. If your son does not have a set, please consider getting him an inexpensive one for Christmas. He will need these when he is a Deacon.

Our second goal is for each boy to memorize all thirteen Articles of Faith. As you know, Joseph Smith penned these down when asked to give the tenets of our beliefs. Each boy should have these memorized before he graduates from Primary. They will help him to explain our beliefs to nonmembers, strengthen his own understanding, and prepare him to teach the gospel to others on his mission. They are found at the end of the Doctrine and Covenants, as well as on a card that each full time missionary has. These are nice to keep with the boy's scriptures. Your son needs to memorize and pass off these Articles of Faith: Our third goal is for each boy to earn his Gospel in Action Award, which covers accomplishments in four areas: personal, family, church, and community. Each boy should have a card to record his progress on (I have more if you need them). Parents should sign the card and so should I, then it needs to be turned in to Sister Meyers. The parents will be invited to attend Primary and the boys will be presented a tie tack or pin showing a set of scriptures, our class symbol. The Gospel in Action Award can only be earned while the boy is still in Primary. Your son needs to complete goals in:

All boys who complete these three goals before January 1988 will be invited to a special class party. We want all the boys to be there.  I love all of you.  Sister Gardiner

Christmas 1987

Chad: December 27, 1987, This Christmas what ever I asked for, Mom and Dad would say no. From Grandma Great I got a game called "Go for Broke".   Eric got me a mine lamp. Rachel got a crayon pencil, a ball, and me some pins.  Santa gave me a keyboard and a football. 

I gave away a lot of gifts too.

Mom, a ring and a engraving of a unicorn

Dad, a key ring and a engraving of a snowman

Rachel, ring and a bracelet and a fan

Eric, tether ball pole and a balancing thing

Ryan, two toy guys

Ashley, two fake candy canes (she ties to eat them)

Rebecca, two pictures of me,  a Bon Jovi pin up,  and a ring

Alien

Chad: January 30, 1988, What is Super Sunday?  (I've been asking the kids if they know what Super Sunday is.  It is the Superbowl Football Game day.)  Dad, did we miss the game. Dad: why didn't you tell me so we could watch the game. 

Friday, this week I missed school so I could finish off my Star.  There was still plenty of time after I finished doing artwork and stuff.  So I watched "Alien". Now I want to watch "Aliens". I liked Alien because the monster was totally awesome and it was really hard to kill.  Remember when was Superman was such a big thing.  Well, it isn't anymore. 

Ode To A Scout From Dad, February 16, 1988

Tenderfoot, 1st and 2nd class

     don't stop now

     You're moving fast.

He bundles clothes, food and drink

     for a family of 8

     what will they think?

At first ping-pong wasn't fun

     but he worked and played

     until he won.

Citizenship in the country, state, and world

     raise the flag

     it's soon unfurled.

Denny Beitler tells what to angle

     poles, hooks, bait then

     let it dangle.

Fish in ocean, stream and lake

     and catch a fish

     for goodness sake.

He visits Bethers, a cartoon artist

     sees couch eat boy

     who's not the smartest,

Then helps Hatton with boys

much younger its games, the Signal,

     ice cream for hunger.

He's worked hard and come far

     badges, service,

     Yes! Chad's a Star!

Alien

Chad: January 30, 1988, What is Super Sunday?  (I've been asking the kids if they know what Super Sunday is.  It is the Superbowl Football Game day.)  Dad, did we miss the game. Dad why didn't you tell me so we could watch the game? 

Friday, this week I missed school so I could finish off my Star.  There was still plenty of time after I finished doing artwork and stuff.  So I watched "Alien". Now I want to watch "Aliens". I liked Alien because the monster was totally awesome and it was really hard to kill.  Remember when was Superman was such a big thing.  Well, it isn't anymore. 

Chad is a Star!

Chad: Saturday February 20, 1988,  Last Wednesday was the Scout

Court of Honor. Chad received his Star Rank in scouting. He is very proud of his scouting achievements, and works hard (with prodding from mom) at it. He says that he wants to get his Eagle Scout while he is still twelve, before he turns thirteen. He is well on the way towards this goal. He just recently finished his Art Merit Badge and visited with Russ Bethers in our ward who is studying animation at Cal Arts, and Ross Burton, the M. B. Counselor who is a free lance designer/illustrator and graduate of the Arts Center in Pasadena. All this really got him thinking about a career in Art when he gets older. He was so impressed with everything he learned about animation from Brother Bethers that he gave his toastmasters talk in school on animation, showing the different layers of cells to make one frame with his Mad Dog cartoon character, using different mouths to layer on the same body drawing. He came in first place in his class that day.

We let him take a day off from school to complete the art merit badge. He had so many projects and pressures on him we thought that it would be easier for him to just stay home and finish a few of them. He watched the movie "Alien" when he was finished, then worked with his dad some on his Egypt report.

In school he seems to be doing very well. He just this week moved up to the 7th grade math book and is doing Algebra. His spelling is still poor, however. In Social Studies he just completed a report on the country of Egypt, and is now making a relief map of the country for one of his additional projects. He is doing so much better in his studies since we've been giving him Ritalin for his attention deficit. He can tell when the medication begins to wear off, and has asked for a little stronger dose lately. His confidence has increased tremendously as his studies have improved. Math used to be his weakest subject, now it is his strongest. His teacher is Mrs. Harrison, the same teacher he had in 3rd grade. She can hardly believe that Chad is the same boy she had three years ago. She says that she really gets a big kick out of him, but he still needs to learn when his humor is appropriate and when it is not. He has a nice elasticity to him and responds to pressure well.

When his medication has worn off, or he hasn't taken any, he sure has a hard time keeping his mind on the task at hand, especially in the morning getting dressed, or in the evening cleaning up the kitchen with Rachel. He's like a standup comedian, going around entertaining everyone instead of working. One morning after I particularly got after him and he was finally walking out the door, he muttered in passing, "Bye, mom, I love you". Then grinning over his shoulder he added, "....most of the time". I had to laugh at his honesty and engaging charm. This phrase has become a little joke around here.

Chad is very friendly and well liked. Last Fall he ran for Boys

Athletic Director, and was runner up. He feels that he is not in the "in group" but he is really a popular, well-liked boy because he is so friendly and fair with everyone, and has such a cute sense of humor. Many adults and neighbors have marveled to me how charming and amusing he is. He is very handsome too with his blond hair, toothy grin, and dimples. He has been bugging me a lot for braces, and is anxious to get them as soon as we get the money. He says that he's been telling all his friends that he is getting some, and he doesn't want them to think he is lying. A new boy in the class, a fifth grader named Tony Wilson, has helped to fill the void since Chris White moved, and in Chad's typical friendly, missionary type manner he has invited him to join our Blazer Scouts, which he has. He also wanted to give this boy's family a Book of Mormon at Christmas time, and while we haven't yet, we plan to in the future. He calls his girlfriend

Rebecca Jones about twice a week, and for Valentine's Day he bought her a box of candy hearts.

Kent and I are his Blazer Scout leaders and his Primary/Sunday

School teachers. There are sixteen young men and women in his class. He just gave two memorized talks in Primary. He has a fabulous memory and recall level. But he gets too embarrassed to look at his audience with eye contact. We're going to work on that next. He knows all the articles of faith. This spring he is being ordained to the priesthood. I feel very confident that he will grow up into a fine and honorable young man. I love him and I like him very much, and am very proud to be his mother. I know that he will "turn out all right".

Dear Chadrick,

         How’s is it going.   I love you.     Things are great.   I am going for cross-country, geometry, and honors science!    It should be hard but I will live through it.   I started the book The Passage To Dawn.    I had to read  Siege of Darkness though because I couldn’t remember what happened. 

         Brett is getting baptized next week.  I can’t wait to go on my jamboree trip.  It should be lots of fun.   I am sharing my tent with Trevor Kavenaugh.   We will be staying in hotels and eating in restaurants for two weeks.  I will be gone for three weeks.  It is held in Virginia but we will be touring in different states for two weeks in different eastern states.   We will get to see the Hill Camora Pageant while touring. 

         We are finally getting hooked up with the internet I cant wait .  I used it at Ricky Gerrards house and it was fun to talk to people from other states and try to talk to some chicks.   We are also getting our computer faster, we already did but I don’t know if it is fast enough.

                                                         Love,

                                                                       Ryan Gardiner

                                                                       a.k.a.   Mustard

p.s.  Happy Birthday!   I love you!  You are doing what’s right!

p.p.s.  I’m going on a mission too!

        

         Dearest Chad,

         Yo doll face, what’s up!  Big Ryan is typing this as we speak with out permission.   Saturday I worked on my book report.  It was hard.  We talked to Rachel today.  She is repenting,  going to church, and wants to go to the Celestial Kingdom.  That is good.  Brett is getting baptized next week.  Today it is May 4, 1997.   Many people are going.   It will be a big moment.  (well Chad this is the typeset.  Right now Ashley’s thinking of what to say.)   The cats are grown up and cute as can be.   I love you.  Enjoy life.  And be happy.                                                                                                                                                                            

                                                      Love your fan,

                                                      And Lover,

                                                      Ashley

p.s.  Happy Birthday!

Dear Chad,

I love you a lot.  Happy birthday.  A week from today I am getting baptized, I can’t wait.   I wish you could come.  I love you a lot.  I’m glad you are doing missionary work.  I miss you and love you a lot.  It seems weird without you.  There was an aftershock the night before last night.  It was weird.  I sorta of liked it I guess.                                                         Brett

Dear Chad, We love hearing from you.  It seems like we get a letter every week, but this system is not as good as Boston.  Sister Parks heard the new Boston mission president at BYU last week.  He was awesome.  We love you and are thrilled that you are doing the  Lord’s work.  Your letters mean a lot to Rachel, she meets with the Bishop this month as part of her repentance process and we are praying that she will be able to partake of the sacrament.  Even though you are far away your influence for good is being felt by Rachel and by us.  You are doing much good.  We love and support you.  For your birthday we are sending you money.  We feel that you could use it and so we’re going to wire it directly into your account.  Deborah talked to your mission president about how to do this.  Yesterday Deborah went tracting and met a fellow that restores old cars and I helped a non member friend of Deborah by fixing her car.  Sometimes missionary work takes strange terns.  Next Saturday the Lutzes around the corner are going to a musical presentation at the church with us.  Love you,

                                                                                 Dad

                                                      September 8, 1996

Dear Chad

I hope you are having lots of fun and I hope that you'll teach a lot of people. I love you very much.  School is great.  I have lots of friends and my teacher's name is Mrs. Chassman.  In Zion we had lots of fun.  We played in the water a lot and we climbed on rocks.  We had lots of mud fights.  Little Ryan was muddiest.   And we had lots of  fun.  And on the way home from Zion we picked up some cool rocks.

                                             Brett

                                                      September 8, 1996

Dear Chad

Up at Zion we enjoyed playing in the stream and having mudball fights.  I liked making mudballs as hard as rocks.  We hiked up the narrows a couple of miles, which is a canyon with a river running through it.  Then the next day, we took Deborah, Brett and Little Ryan with us and went about a half mile or so. 

My school teacher's name is Ms. Walker.  She is really nice.  I'm in a fifth/sixth split class.  At first we had to have sixth grade lunch so I never got to see my friends however Ms. Walker had a meeting with other teachers and tried to change it.  And she did change it. 

                                             I miss you.

                                              Love,

                                             Ashley

                                                               September 8, 1996

Dear Chad, 

         Thank you for your letter.  It is nice to hear from you.  When I came home on Wednesday Ryan Gardiner said he missed you already.  I think we all do.  However we know you are setting off on an exciting adventure.  Sorry about the pills.  They were all refrigerated except the last one that I sent with you.

         I will get your pills tomorrow and send them off the middle of the week.  I know how important they are to you.

The kids have been having a good time. At Zion's park they ran around the streams making mud balls and slimed each other and threw water at each other for four days.  We had an exciting adventure wading up the stream that runs through the narrows.  It was my sister  Sandy's favorite vacation adventure because there is an element of danger and because of the stark beauty of southern Utah.  If you get rain you can have a flash flood in a canyon that is very narrow and goes up anywhere from 1,000 feet to 2,000 feet.  The massive red, orange and sand colored cliffs are very impressive.  I'd like to hike the entire thing with Ashley, Mom, Ryan and Eric next year.  We'll see.

         It's been tough getting back to school.  The work is not hard but I really enjoy my summers camping with the kids.  We really enjoyed going to Saddlerock with you.  Brett was remembering how cold his hands were that one morning and how you helped him.  That trip was a special memory for me because of the love we all felt from you.  Those kinds of things mean a lot when you’re a parent

         Rachel's address is :             College Terrace Apartments

                                             639 West  1200 South

                                             Apartment 37

                                             Orem,. Utah 84058-5999

We love you and look forward to your letters. 

                                             Love

                                             Dad

Dear Rachel,

I hope you are having lots of fun and I hope that you'll teach a lot of people. I love you very much.  School is great.  I have lots of friends and my teacher's name is Mrs. Chassman.  In Zion we had lots of fun.  We played in the water a lot and we climbed on rocks.  We had lots of mud fights.  Little Ryan was muddiest.   And we had lots of  fun.  And on the way home from Zion we picked up some cool rocks.

                                                      Love, Brett

                                             September 8, 1996

Dear Rachel,

Up at Zion we enjoyed playing in the stream and having mudball fights.  I liked making mudballs as hard as rocks.  We hiked up the narrows a couple of miles, which is a canyon with a river running through it.  Then the next day, we took Deborah, Brett and Little Ryan with us and went about a half mile or so. 

My school teacher's name is Ms. Walker.  She is really nice.  I'm in a fifth/sixth split class.  At first we had to have sixth grade lunch so I never got to see my friends however Ms. Walker had a meeting with other teachers and tried to change it.  And she did change it. 

                                             I miss you.

                                              Love,

                                             Ashley

                                                      September 8, 1996

Dear Rachel, 

         I will get your pills tomorrow and send them off the middle of the week.  I know how important they are to you.

The kids have been having a good time. At Zion's park they ran around the streams making mud balls and slimed each other and threw water at each other for four days.  We had an exciting adventure wading up the stream that runs through the narrows.  It was my sister  Sandy's favorite vacation adventure because there is an element of danger and because of the stark beauty of southern Utah.  If you get rain you can have a flash flood in a canyon that is very narrow and goes up anywhere from 1,000 feet to 2,000 feet.  The massive red, orange and sand colored cliffs are very impressive.  I'd like to hike the entire thing with Ashley, Mom, Ryan and Eric next year.  We'll see.

         It's been tough getting back to school.  The work is not hard but I really enjoy my summers camping with the kids.   We love you and look forward to your letters. 

                                                            Dad

Chad Timeline

                         Chad Gardiner born,

      1976                   May 8, 9:45 am 21inches/8lb 11oz

                       Smiles, May 22

                         Holds head up, May 23

                         25 inches, 11 pound 7 oz, June 23

                         Chad blessed, July 4, by father

                         Solids, July

                         DPT shot, 26 inches, 14 lb. 4 oz, Aug. 1

                         Tries to stands up, Aug. 22

                         San Diego, Sep. 9

                         Talking, Nov. 8

1977                 Stood in crib, Jan. 2

                         Walks between things, May 8,

                         Illness, dehydration, Christmas

1978                                                    Rachel Gardiner born, Jan. 24, 10:05 p.m.

                                  21inches/7lb 9oz

                         2 Years Old,

                         Hawaii, Kent and Suzanne, August

                         Walking, Nov.

                         Christmas, dolls, plastic Santa

                          Disneyland, Labor Day

1979                 3 Years Old, fire trucks, motorcycles, Popsicle's

                         Hearst Castle, Kent and Suzanne, Apr. 26

                         Pre School

                         Christmas, Wiseman, Spiderman Big Wheels

1980                 Moves to Hyssop Lane. house 

                         Eric James born, March 26, 9:15 p.m. 21inches/8lb 2oz

                         4 Years Old, road builder trucks

                         Swim class at COC, July    

                         Eric blessed, June 15, by father

                         Edward Britein dies, Oct. 8

                         Superman, reaction to candy, Halloween

                         Christmas

1981                 5 Birthday, dinosaurs, star wars

                         Reagan shot by Hinkley, Mar. 30

                         Canada trip for Kent with 81 students (one week), May

                         Star Wars, May 3

                         Nat. History Museum, May

                           Disneyland, didn't like Haunted Mansion, June

                         Gymnastics, June 21

                         Carpentaria Camping, July 1011

                         Big Bear with Browns, July 21

                         Swimming, Summer

                         El Capitan camping, Aug. 16

                         1 Day Kindergarten, Mrs. Neary

                         Spells Zoo, Sep. 7

                         Reads Dad and Liter, Sep.

                         Halloween

                         Christmas,

1982                 No Crooks testimony

                         Magic Mountain,  Mar. 27

                         Solvang, June 11

           

1983                 Big Bear with Blunks, Jan.        

                         T-Ball, April 10

                         7 years old

                          Kings Canyon camping, May 

                         Van, Bought a Blue Plymouth      

                         Ryan born, July 22, 9:22 am 23inches/9lb 1oz

                         2 grade. Mrs.Harrison

                         Ryan blessed, Sep 4, by father

                         Robot, Halloween

1984                 8 years old

                         Baptized, May 12 Tracy and Jenny attend

                         Suzanne goes to reunion, Aug. 12

1985                 Worked on Lancaster house 12 hours, Mar. 24

                         Dinobots, April

9 years old, transformers, Shockwave, prime and Soundwave 

                         Kings Canyon, 4-mile hike, difficult, May

                         Muscles, Dec. 

1986                 Ashley born, Jan 22, 7:45 pm, 21inches/7lb 2oz

                         10 Years old, surprise party

                         Rachel baptized, Jan 25 by father

                Ashley blessed, Feb 22, by father

                Acton Property bought in foreclosure, June 10

                5th Grade, Miss Kloe, Miss Zaslov

                 Christmas

    1987               11-Years Old,

                Catalina with Dad

                Marjorie dies, July 22, 9:15 pm

                Reds Meadow, Aug. 2

                Britain Trip for Kent and Suzanne Oct. 1  14   

30's style depression for Kent and Suzanne, August-February

1988  Star Scout, Feb. 17   

                12 years-old     

                           Eric baptized, Mar.