This journal is lovingly dedicated to my father, who has taught his family so much what Father-in-Heaven is like
because of the [good and kind father he has been to us. It is easy to believe
in a heavenly parent who loves His children and desires only their happiness,
growth and fulfillment because of the mortal parent we have had to walk. With
us these few short years on earth. The Lord continue to bless him with health
and vigor that he may long enrich and bless the lives of his family, friends,
and those he serves in and out of the church.
--Suzanne Brown Gardiner
THE PERSONAL JOURNAL OF JAMES
CYRIL BROWN, SR.
DECEMBER 27, 1965
For sometime now I have
thought about keeping a journal and recording some of the nice things that have
happened to us during the years. It is not intended to be strictly
chronological; rather, I plan to write down events that should be entered
as they are recalled. At the present time I am a medical doctor nearly years
old, and as I near as I know enjoying good health. The genealogy of our family
is recorded elsewhere, and this is not intended to be such. We do, however,
have six lovely children of whom we are extremely proud and for whom we are
very grateful.
At present I have the
privilege of serving as a counselor in the West Covina Stake Presidency.
I generally plan to make entries that I feel have spiritual significance to me,
and I hope to those reading ‘them. I am sorry that my
handwriting is poor...._jokingly, this seems to be the mark of a physician. Once
I wrote my Grandfather Brown and told him that my psychology teacher
said that there was no relationship between Penmanship and intelligence.
Grandpa wrote back, “Are you sure?"
OUR MARRIAGE
In many respects, it is
difficult to remember before we were married since our marriage seems so right.
Because of several situations and wonderful coincidences, we both are sure that
the Lord helped us find each other.
We enjoy reminiscing about
it--our courtship was sweet and precious.
The Arizona Temple President,
Harry L. Payne, particularly counseled us to hold family prayer right from the
beginning: so we started kneeling down as two, and now it is perfectly natural
to kneel down as eight; we hope we will still be together to kneel down as two
again, and that the children will then be kneeling down with children of their
own.
SETTING APART
I have always been impressed
when set apart in the callings given me, and have tried "to live up to the
blessing; or I should say, I believe that those in authority have the power to
bless.
In 1956 I was set apart as a.
member of the Covina Stake High Council by
Elder Elray L. Christiansen,
an assistant to the Quorum of Twelve. He specifically blessed me that my
medical practice would not interfere with my church calling. At that time I had
a heavy solo practice, including a large obstetrical practice. During the three
full years I served on the council, I never missed a single meeting due
to my practice: my deliveries scheduled around, but not during my meetings and
other emergencies were at a time that did not prevent me from going to the
meeting I was expected to be at. when I recall how busy my practice was,
this becomes a great miracle. I have not generally
told this as I feel this is
sacred to me; however, many have remarked how I never missed a meeting. At
the party given when the Stake was divided, part of a song composed for the
occasion stated: "You could count on Dr. Brown's babies nof, coming during a.
meeting."
FARMER
BROWN'S FUNERAL
Being the
eldest grandson, I always felt close to my grandfather Brown-particularly
since our families lived so close together during my childhood. As I
grew into manhood I knew that grandpa loved me, and I felt secure in this.
Grandma was well known in Arizona; he was Arizona's first Farm
Bureau President, and was
an eloquent speaker--very much in demand. He was very witty and enjoyable
to be around. He also worked for President Hoover on the Federal Farm
Board, and I believe spoke in every state in the Union.
When I was a boy,
I was quite impressed that he was offered a new Graham Page car for
speaking at the Washington Sate Fair, but wouldn‘t accept it because he
worked for the government. He had the nickname of "Farmer", and
nearly everyone knew Farmer Brown. Grandpa had 2 nephews in the First
Presidency, President Hugh B. Brown and President Nathan
Eldon Tanner, as well as a nephew in the Presiding Bishopric, Victor
L. Brown. He used ‘to tell President Hugh B. -Brown, "Come out and
sit under the lemon tree with me, and I'll tell you‘ how to run the
church.“ They used to visit quite a bit.
Grandpa was nearly
89 when he died. It was a shock to me—-I thought he
was indestructible. (He was still riding horses, etc.) In fact, he
was deep in Nevada helping his daughter and son-in-law set up their
ranch when he had his heart attack--over 100 miles from a doctor. He
withstood the long drive over desert roads only to find the doctor gone,
and they had to take him to another town.
President Hugh B.
Brown was on a church assignment to Europe and couldn't accept
the invitation to speak at the funeral. The family then asked me to
speak. Actually, in my heart I wanted to speak. Somehow it seemed
more appropriate to have a family member speak, and I felt I knew what he
and the Lord wanted me to say. I fasted and prayed for help and I
received it. I can tell when I have the Spirit with me: the words
seem to flow and it is a sweet special feeling; when I don't have it, I
just as well sit down because I flounder helplessly. At the beginning
there was a sadness common to funerals; but when I arose to speak,
I told how Grandpa felt about funerals and his in particular, and
that he wanted them to relax and visit and even tell stories. Then as
I talked about the Gospel, a sweet feeling came into the chapel, and I
could feel the large congregation relax. After the servicea the people
did stand around, visit, and reminisce. To me, it was a choice
experience, and I felt close- to my grandfather and the rest of the
family. I look forward to more visits with grandpa, and I know this
life is not the end of our relationship.
One day at church, I was
carrying Jimmy when someone came up to me and said, "He looks just
like you....but he's healthy." I guess there are some compensations for
Jimmy, even if he does look like me.
I had an awakening today as
to age: I treated a girl, that as I talked to the family, ‘turned out to
be the granddaughter of a girl I went all through grade school and high
school with. We get busy and forget that time goes on. Having married
somewhat late, and then moving away from where I was raised, I suppose many of
my old friends have grand kids. One evening at our Stake
Bishopric meeting while we were instructing the bishoprics in regard to the new
home teaching program and I was talking, I told them that the single
most effec Live thing they could do to offset the threat of Communism would be
to make the Home Teaching program work. Something happened at that point: there
was something like an electric charge in the room, and I knew I was telling
them what the Lord wanted me to. After the meeting, a brother came up to me and
said, "At that point a voice whispered to me, ‘Listen to this man'".
To feel the Spirit when you
speak by assignment is a wonderful feeing;. to not have it gives you a
helpless feeling, and you realize that you might just as well sit down, the
words sound hollow and empty. Last night just before
retiring, I checked on the children to make sure they were covered. As I
looked at each one and sensed how sweet and precious to us they were, I
wondered: Can we ever live worthy of the blessing of lovely children? I
couldn't help but walk out on the balcony and ask, Father-in-Heaven to help me
be a better earthly father to these precious souls.
Late summer 1965
I received a call at the office that our hill was on fire. As I drove up, it looked like everything was gone. In a little while I found that it was largely smoke, that the fire had burned around the house, and that the family was safe also. Later, Charles, our four-year-old, took me out to see where the fire had been. He put his arm around my leg as we surveyed the charred trees and said, "Jimmy-boy and I knew that Heavenly Father wouldn't let the fire burn the house and Mommy ‘cause we knelt down and prayed." That was of more value to me than the trees that we lost. The firemen indicated that the wind had shifted; the fire stopped about 100 feet from our house and went back into the canyon, burning itself out. Marjorie also knelt and prayed at this time. She, too, feels that prayer saved our home.
I received a call at the office that our hill was on fire. As I drove up, it looked like everything was gone. In a little while I found that it was largely smoke, that the fire had burned around the house, and that the family was safe also. Later, Charles, our four-year-old, took me out to see where the fire had been. He put his arm around my leg as we surveyed the charred trees and said, "Jimmy-boy and I knew that Heavenly Father wouldn't let the fire burn the house and Mommy ‘cause we knelt down and prayed." That was of more value to me than the trees that we lost. The firemen indicated that the wind had shifted; the fire stopped about 100 feet from our house and went back into the canyon, burning itself out. Marjorie also knelt and prayed at this time. She, too, feels that prayer saved our home.
At one of our Stake
Conferences, the stake presidency needed to call a
High Councilman, and we
couldn't seem to make a decision. Finally President
Mark W. Smith (then West
Covina stake president) told Elder Boyd K. Packer, who was the visiting General
Authority, that we couldn't come to a decision and would have to wait. Elder
Packer said, "The Lord will bless you, and during this next meeting you
will know who he wants you to select." When the meeting ended, Pres. Richard
E. Miner (then second counselor in the stake presidency) and I,with0ut
consultation, at the same instant turned to Press, Smith and recommended the
same man. We knew that individual was the one the Lord
wanted.
Jim Brown Journal
June 26 1983 to May 26, 1991
May 26, 1983
I am patriarch to the Hacienda Heights California Stake and
have given 499 blessings as of today. I
also am a Sealer in the Los Angeles Temple – performed 6 marriages last week, I
regularly go Tuesday and Friday evenings for regular sealing sessions and go in
addition when I am needed or if I have a request to perform a marriage or
sealing, so I often go in 4 or 5 times a week and once 6 times.
We now have 14 grandchildren with 2 more on the way, Suzanne
due in July, Barbara in November
Marjorie is an ordnance worker at the Temple and has had
some sweet sacred experiences. She is troubled by her arthritis, but manages. I have lost 60 pounds in an effort to control
blood pressure along with a diet and exercise program. I walk and run 7 to 8 miles each day except
Sunday.
July 24, 1983
What a heritage we have, and how blessed we are because of
our wonderful forbearers. Those who
prepared the way for the Gospel and those who received it, and helped build the
church. In Sacrament Meeting as we
honored the Pioneers I looked at my wife – loved her and realized that if it
were not for the Church and our Heritage, I would not have her and our
particular family.
On Friday July 22, 1983
Our Suzanne delivered her 4th child, a handsome 9’1” boy 23 inches long. I had the privilege of delivering him. I was real proud of Suzanne as I was of each of our children in having their children. They have conducted themselves well.
Our Suzanne delivered her 4th child, a handsome 9’1” boy 23 inches long. I had the privilege of delivering him. I was real proud of Suzanne as I was of each of our children in having their children. They have conducted themselves well.
July 25, 1983
Marjorie is out at Suzanne’s helping with the new baby. I awakened early this morning because I went to bed early, which I often am not able to do. When I do wake up early – I sometimes lie in bed listening to the early morning sounds, crickets, sometimes – usually roosters crowing (I’m glad our neighbors have chickens) my thoughts go back to my childhood and youth. People I used to know, the fields, trees, barns, lanes, ditches etc. that I knew in Mesa Arizona have all be obliterated by housing tracts. I have often wondered if it would be possible to transfer the memories of one person to another. Some of my memories I would not want to give some one else because I feel they would be a burden and would not be a blessing to them – Sometimes we try to push our own burdens onto someone else – particularly when we tell of weaknesses and supposed sings of others.
Marjorie is out at Suzanne’s helping with the new baby. I awakened early this morning because I went to bed early, which I often am not able to do. When I do wake up early – I sometimes lie in bed listening to the early morning sounds, crickets, sometimes – usually roosters crowing (I’m glad our neighbors have chickens) my thoughts go back to my childhood and youth. People I used to know, the fields, trees, barns, lanes, ditches etc. that I knew in Mesa Arizona have all be obliterated by housing tracts. I have often wondered if it would be possible to transfer the memories of one person to another. Some of my memories I would not want to give some one else because I feel they would be a burden and would not be a blessing to them – Sometimes we try to push our own burdens onto someone else – particularly when we tell of weaknesses and supposed sings of others.
Morning sounds evoke many memories for me because on the
farm I had to get up early to milk the cows while it was still dark – I’d go
out in the fields to find the cows and drive them into the corral so we could
milk them. During the school year I
would usually have to run to catch the bus.
I’d lie in bed as long as I could part of the time I also had a paper
route and delivered papers by bicycle 10 miles night and morning. My brother Bob and I shared this. I am not sure I would have been very good at
sports in high School, but I was not able to participate in any except Track
because of the chores at home. I could
go to some of the track meets on Saturdays because I did not have to
practice.
As I think about my childhood and the feelings worries and
hopes I ha then along with the anxieties and wonder now why I thought some
things were important then. And also why
other things were not more important. I
often reach over and touch Marjorie and am brought to the present and the real
miracle of her in my life, and our children, and now their children. When our children think of me in their own
memories of childhood, I hope they remember that I loved their Mother, and that
I loved them.
February 5 1984
Fast Day did my initial Home Teaching visits for February and gave 3 blessings – The last several weeks have had me traveling back and forth from Mesa Arizona. My Father has cancer of the colon, was operated on developed pneumonia was in intensive care a long time. He is finally home – but quite likely will be finishing his mortal life. The cancer was not entirely confined and if he doesn’t die from his heart condition he will probably not last longer than 2 years from the cancer. I wish we had accomplished more together over the years. I don’t suppose we would ever have enough time.
Fast Day did my initial Home Teaching visits for February and gave 3 blessings – The last several weeks have had me traveling back and forth from Mesa Arizona. My Father has cancer of the colon, was operated on developed pneumonia was in intensive care a long time. He is finally home – but quite likely will be finishing his mortal life. The cancer was not entirely confined and if he doesn’t die from his heart condition he will probably not last longer than 2 years from the cancer. I wish we had accomplished more together over the years. I don’t suppose we would ever have enough time.
February 26, 1984
My father has suffered a major stroke, is helpless and
paralyzed not able to speak or respond, it is not likely he will recover. I have been over to see him in Mesa Arizona. He just lies there. I took my Mother over to see him. It was difficult for her to comprehend seeing
him like that. She has been in a
convalescent hospital largely helpless also.
I phoned Dad 2 days before his stroke, we had a good visit, told jokes
etc. It was his 87th
birthday. I feel it is a special bonus
to pass from this life quickly – although I am sure there is a purpose for some
lingering either for them or others so I don’t want to questions the Lord’s
schedule for us.
At the other end of the spectrum of life our daughter
Johanna give birth to her 6th living child a son to probably be
named Jonathan – Marjorie is with them functioning as a Grandmother, our 17th
living grandchild – our first was born dead.
March 3, 1984 Last week my cousin Susan Halls called and
said she was into the Hospital to see my father and he awoke from his coma
after about 10 days told her he had died and seen his parents and his
sister. I went over 2 days later and it
is a miracle he is still alive, his Physician told me he has had one other case
like it. My own experience made me feel
he would never survive, much less regain consciousness. I don’t know how much he can remember but he can
move all his limbs and speak – he sleeps a lot and is difficult to arouse.
March 26, 1984
My 63rd birthday. Marjorie had a dinner party and close friends and associates. She is a joy to watch being a gracious hostess.
My 63rd birthday. Marjorie had a dinner party and close friends and associates. She is a joy to watch being a gracious hostess.
September 23, 1984
Yesterday our family had a special experience. Suzanne had through her contacts in Tennessee had gathered enough information to have some sealings done at the Temple after clearing with the Genealogical department and we performed their sealings in the Temple using family members as proxies as we sealed John Jones to his family we wept, the Spirit was so strong all of us felt it. John Jones was Marjorie Jones ancestor in Tennessee – and we knew his loved his family – Suzanne feels and I agree that it was miraculous to have made the contacts and ties, because he had not previous contacts – Marjorie’s grandfather came out to ‘Arizona and died still a young man – and we had not real knowledge of his family in Tennessee.
Yesterday our family had a special experience. Suzanne had through her contacts in Tennessee had gathered enough information to have some sealings done at the Temple after clearing with the Genealogical department and we performed their sealings in the Temple using family members as proxies as we sealed John Jones to his family we wept, the Spirit was so strong all of us felt it. John Jones was Marjorie Jones ancestor in Tennessee – and we knew his loved his family – Suzanne feels and I agree that it was miraculous to have made the contacts and ties, because he had not previous contacts – Marjorie’s grandfather came out to ‘Arizona and died still a young man – and we had not real knowledge of his family in Tennessee.
Dec 2, 1984
As Marjorie and I have time together now we find our love is growing even more special and precious, and one of our greatest gifts from the Lord is our love for each other.
As Marjorie and I have time together now we find our love is growing even more special and precious, and one of our greatest gifts from the Lord is our love for each other.
December 30, 1984
I found remnants of my Grandfather Browns (Charles Sidney Brown) missionary Journal among my parent’s papers. The writing is faded in spots but his penmanship is better than mine. He frequently mentions walking 20 – 25 miles to attend an appointment – being cold wet and hungry – I wish I could visit him again. Tell him I love and miss him. It is sobering to reflect that at best I probably have about 20 years of mortality or less and that if there are things I want to do I better get started. I wonder why I thought I had so much time. When I was young, seems like all of a sudden I’m old.
I found remnants of my Grandfather Browns (Charles Sidney Brown) missionary Journal among my parent’s papers. The writing is faded in spots but his penmanship is better than mine. He frequently mentions walking 20 – 25 miles to attend an appointment – being cold wet and hungry – I wish I could visit him again. Tell him I love and miss him. It is sobering to reflect that at best I probably have about 20 years of mortality or less and that if there are things I want to do I better get started. I wonder why I thought I had so much time. When I was young, seems like all of a sudden I’m old.
November 10, 1985
There has been a flurry of anti Mormon publications lately with supposed early documents etc. What most anti church individuals do not realize is that a Testimony is individually gained and maintained through the Spirit and not dependent upon some other individual. Each person has the right and responsibility to gain their own Testimony – to me that is one of the beautiful aspects of the Church. That each person can and should gain their own testimony, work out their own salvation and exaltation, regardless of our callings, station in life, profession or wealth or lack.
There has been a flurry of anti Mormon publications lately with supposed early documents etc. What most anti church individuals do not realize is that a Testimony is individually gained and maintained through the Spirit and not dependent upon some other individual. Each person has the right and responsibility to gain their own Testimony – to me that is one of the beautiful aspects of the Church. That each person can and should gain their own testimony, work out their own salvation and exaltation, regardless of our callings, station in life, profession or wealth or lack.
Dec 7, 1984
Last night, Marjorie and I lay awake in the early hours and had a special pillow talk reliving our childhood memories and the events leading to our special marriage, our children and the happiness we have had together. How we love each other more every day – how we know the Lord helped us find each other, and prepared us for each other. How much our children mean to their children and us – we feel such a bond between us. The sweetest sound in the world to me is the sound of my wife’s voice and there is no place on earth I’d rather be than with her.
Last night, Marjorie and I lay awake in the early hours and had a special pillow talk reliving our childhood memories and the events leading to our special marriage, our children and the happiness we have had together. How we love each other more every day – how we know the Lord helped us find each other, and prepared us for each other. How much our children mean to their children and us – we feel such a bond between us. The sweetest sound in the world to me is the sound of my wife’s voice and there is no place on earth I’d rather be than with her.
November 30, 1986
As I drove around Provo I was flooded with memories. In 1941 August – September, I left Tempe, hitch hiked to Provo, picked peaches in the daytime, worked in a Tomato Cannery at night, and got enough money to start my Senior year at BYU, transferring from Arizona State at Tempe. I needed a change in my life and it certainly did change it. BYU with its devotional programs gave me exposure to church leaders. I had not experienced I remember vividly Pearl Harbor, I was riding with Bruce Lyman my father’s cousin and heard about it on the car radio. Since I was registered for the draft at Provo I was drafted into the army from there instead of Phoenix where I normally would have been – I was stationed at Fort Douglas out of Salt Lake City for a time giving me additional exposure to church leaders – having served as Presiding Elder at the reception center, holding services for the new inductees, each week.
As I drove around Provo I was flooded with memories. In 1941 August – September, I left Tempe, hitch hiked to Provo, picked peaches in the daytime, worked in a Tomato Cannery at night, and got enough money to start my Senior year at BYU, transferring from Arizona State at Tempe. I needed a change in my life and it certainly did change it. BYU with its devotional programs gave me exposure to church leaders. I had not experienced I remember vividly Pearl Harbor, I was riding with Bruce Lyman my father’s cousin and heard about it on the car radio. Since I was registered for the draft at Provo I was drafted into the army from there instead of Phoenix where I normally would have been – I was stationed at Fort Douglas out of Salt Lake City for a time giving me additional exposure to church leaders – having served as Presiding Elder at the reception center, holding services for the new inductees, each week.
I worked with Don B. Colton who was a former congressman,
and was in charge of the LDS Servicemen’s home in Salt Lake. He would obtain speakers for me each
week. Frequently general authorities or
men who eventually became General Authorities such as Hugh B. Brown and John
Longden. I went into combat engineer battalion in Texas and then overseas to
England, France Germany then the Philippines from there. Hence my whole life was different. I really feel the Lord had his hand in my
life, probably due to the prayers of my mother.
While in Provo we noted that the flag at the Provo Temple
was at half-mast and learned later that Elder A Theodore Tuttle had passed
away.
March 15, 1987
I have put off writing about a recent challenge Marjorie and I have to face because I do not know how I can put into words the depth and magnitude of my feelings.
I have put off writing about a recent challenge Marjorie and I have to face because I do not know how I can put into words the depth and magnitude of my feelings.
Since mid January of this year, we have known that Marjorie
has cancer that has spread (metastasized) to her spine, ribs, skull and pelvic
bones – we first discovered it when one f other vertebra collapsed. Biopsy showed demo carcinoma but the primary
sources is not knows, normally the original tumor shows up first then spreads,
but in her case the spread or metastases was our first inklings.
She had passed a kidney stone last summer and a complete
work up did not reveal any other problem – and other than her arthritis she
felt quite well for our China trip.
In November 86 last fall, she complained of back pain and we
felt it was another kidney stone, however X-rays etc. did not confirm it, and
this time blood tests were suggestive of amaligirance and bone scans revealed extensive
involvement – Breast – and chest and abdominal and pelvic scans revealed no
original tumor site - We are reluctant to do an exploratory surgery because we
do not feel we can gain anything and only make her uncomfortable. We are treating the most painful areas of her
back with radiation to ease the discomfort, and it has done that despite the
nausea and anemia from the radiation with the vertebral collapse, she is over 2
inches shorter and spends most of her time in bed, I take her to Church in a
wheel chair.
February 1,
She bore her testimony at Fast Meeting – told our ward she had cancer but not to feel sorry for her, she had every blessing she ever dreamed of and her only regret was not to know David’s wife. The whole ward was touched. Suzanne and Judith each said a beautiful tribute to Marjorie and my beloved associate Mayo Smith gave a moving tribute to her and Br Guhriman did likewise. There was not a dry eye in the congregation that I know of, a Sacred Spirit prevails
She bore her testimony at Fast Meeting – told our ward she had cancer but not to feel sorry for her, she had every blessing she ever dreamed of and her only regret was not to know David’s wife. The whole ward was touched. Suzanne and Judith each said a beautiful tribute to Marjorie and my beloved associate Mayo Smith gave a moving tribute to her and Br Guhriman did likewise. There was not a dry eye in the congregation that I know of, a Sacred Spirit prevails
We have wept together and alone – my heart aches as I
picture her in bed alone coming to the realization that she will likely die
soon – then coming to grips with that knowledge with some much faith and trust.
When I began to try to conceive of life without her I was
filled with deep despair. I had always
assumed I would die first – and I selfishly wanted to live long enough so she
would not marry someone else and find out that was not so much. She on the other hand has graciously urged me
to remarry when she dies – she wants someone to look after me and love me as
she has done.
Lately we have had some sweet pillow talks and review how
greatly blessed we are I for one have had more than most men to have a
beautiful woman love me for over 39 years six wonderful faithful children, plus
such marvelous grandchildren
I am grateful the Lord somehow was kind enough to give her
to me and am especially grateful that I’ve always known how special she
is. I am also grateful to the Lord that
I was impressed to do the things we have done together and not postpone them,
our trips, gifts, etc.
The most beautiful sound in the world to me is her
voice. Each time she offers our prayer I
marvel. When I call home and answers the
phone with that lovely cultured “Brown residence” my heart leaps and always
has, even before she became ill, I would lie in bed turn to look at her and
thank the Lord for her and still do.
I try not to think of how much I will miss her, but try to
concentrate on how blessed we are – I can not conceive of a better wife for me
and she tells me that I have fulfilled (The Lord helped me) all her dreams of a
husband.
June 7, 1987
Yesterday our family gathered at the Los Angeles Temple and I had the privilege of sealing Marjorie’s mother to George Jones – our children’s grandfather and then sealed Marjorie, her sister Norma and their brother Floyd who died as an infant, David acted as his proxy, Wayne, Norma’s husband acted as proxy for Marjorie and Norma’s father. We had the sealing room all to ourselves, just our family were there, and a sweet sacred feeling prevailed, I’m sure there were representatives fro the other side. Marjorie never dreamed she would have the opportunity in this life to be sealed to her father and Mother, Marjorie feels the Lord let her live long enough for this
Yesterday our family gathered at the Los Angeles Temple and I had the privilege of sealing Marjorie’s mother to George Jones – our children’s grandfather and then sealed Marjorie, her sister Norma and their brother Floyd who died as an infant, David acted as his proxy, Wayne, Norma’s husband acted as proxy for Marjorie and Norma’s father. We had the sealing room all to ourselves, just our family were there, and a sweet sacred feeling prevailed, I’m sure there were representatives fro the other side. Marjorie never dreamed she would have the opportunity in this life to be sealed to her father and Mother, Marjorie feels the Lord let her live long enough for this
July 12, 1987
My father Harold Cyril Brown passed away about noon, he had just been fed and suddenly lift mortality – He lived much longer than I expected having had a heart attach 31 years ago then cancer and then a stroke
My father Harold Cyril Brown passed away about noon, he had just been fed and suddenly lift mortality – He lived much longer than I expected having had a heart attach 31 years ago then cancer and then a stroke
Dad said he lived poor, and died rich – he struggled during
the depression buying a farm, then sold it when he was old getting enough to
keep he and Mother confortable and they could have done many things had they
had the health to do it.
I hope he and Mother are happily united.
July 20, 1987
Flew over to Arizona, for my father’s funeral service – Johanna gave the eulogy – Suzanne and I spoke. Judy gave the opening prayer, Charlie the closing, David gave the family prayer, and I dedicated the grave
Flew over to Arizona, for my father’s funeral service – Johanna gave the eulogy – Suzanne and I spoke. Judy gave the opening prayer, Charlie the closing, David gave the family prayer, and I dedicated the grave
I struggled with the decision to go over because I knew
Marjorie was dying and I did not want to be away from her. I prayed about it and discussed the matter
with our Bishop – While Marjorie was only dimly aware I said please wait for me
and she said, “I will try.”
Wednesday July 22, 1987 9:15 PM
My wife completed her mortal life as I held her hand she left, sweetly and quietly having been unconscious most of the day. One of the last things she said was “Will I still hurt?” and I told her “No, you will not hurt.” Her passing was a release and I knew I could not try to hold her back, even though I was content and anxious to continue to care for her indefinitely Judy and David were with us up in our upstairs bedroom. I called the Mortuary and they came and took her body. I did not feel it was her. I know her Spirit was not in it. President John Allen came over. Our Stake president was out of town. I called our Bishop and told him that I was all right and did not need any one to come over.
My wife completed her mortal life as I held her hand she left, sweetly and quietly having been unconscious most of the day. One of the last things she said was “Will I still hurt?” and I told her “No, you will not hurt.” Her passing was a release and I knew I could not try to hold her back, even though I was content and anxious to continue to care for her indefinitely Judy and David were with us up in our upstairs bedroom. I called the Mortuary and they came and took her body. I did not feel it was her. I know her Spirit was not in it. President John Allen came over. Our Stake president was out of town. I called our Bishop and told him that I was all right and did not need any one to come over.
The night before as I lay beside her I came to me what the
funeral service should be. I knew there
would be a large attendance of both members and non-members and I knew she
would want the Gospel taught so that members would want to love it more fully,
and non members would want to know more about it. I asked our new mission President Gary
Coleman who I had just met thee week before and knew that he was a special servant
of the Lord prepared and our beloved Temple President and friend Jack B. McEwan
and Suzanne to represent the family. The
music would be “O Devine Redeemer” Love one another, I am a child of God and “O
My father”
July 22, 1987
Marjorie’s service was lovely, huge attendance like Stake Conference. The speakers and musicians were inspired – the spirit - never experienced anything like it, touched all. My Indian Pathologists friend who performed her autopsy said he felt exhilarated rather than depressed. Our radiologist’s friends Dr. Hans Jultner said he had spent 2 years in Africa with Dr. Albert Schweitzer but had never had a spiritual experience like her funeral. I have since taken he and his wife who is also and M.D. a personally signed Book of Mormon and got permission to send church people from the ward near them to call on them. I hope it will result in baptisms for Marjorie. (It does)
Marjorie’s service was lovely, huge attendance like Stake Conference. The speakers and musicians were inspired – the spirit - never experienced anything like it, touched all. My Indian Pathologists friend who performed her autopsy said he felt exhilarated rather than depressed. Our radiologist’s friends Dr. Hans Jultner said he had spent 2 years in Africa with Dr. Albert Schweitzer but had never had a spiritual experience like her funeral. I have since taken he and his wife who is also and M.D. a personally signed Book of Mormon and got permission to send church people from the ward near them to call on them. I hope it will result in baptisms for Marjorie. (It does)
I was afraid I would break down when I saw my wife in the
casket but I got down to the Stake Center 1 ½ hours early and when I saw her
and fully recognized that it was only her body and that her beautiful Spirit
was not in it a great calm came over me and I had the casket closed after
letting the children see it and did not have a viewing I put 2 pictures of her
in the casket there were lots of flowers despite requesting donations to
charity instead.
August 23, 1987
I have been rereading my uncle Ernest young’s diary I’m so impressed with him and his Service – a real giant serving in the Old Mexico and Argentina, he tells of people places and events I am somewhat familiar with. I noted that my cousin Amy Young Valentine who is Uncle Ernest’s daughter and who had Charlie, Barbara and I over for dinner has been a widow 20 years this month, so many have had to go through what I am experiencing.
I have been rereading my uncle Ernest young’s diary I’m so impressed with him and his Service – a real giant serving in the Old Mexico and Argentina, he tells of people places and events I am somewhat familiar with. I noted that my cousin Amy Young Valentine who is Uncle Ernest’s daughter and who had Charlie, Barbara and I over for dinner has been a widow 20 years this month, so many have had to go through what I am experiencing.
January 3, 1988
Yesterday I learned of my uncle George halls Brown’s passing. He was only 4 years older than I, lived next farm to us during the depression, my father’s youngest brother. He was like a big brother to me and always kind and considerate also the day before my father’s last living sister died Elna Brown of one of their 11 children still in mortality and being the eldest grandchild I’ll be the older generation.
Yesterday I learned of my uncle George halls Brown’s passing. He was only 4 years older than I, lived next farm to us during the depression, my father’s youngest brother. He was like a big brother to me and always kind and considerate also the day before my father’s last living sister died Elna Brown of one of their 11 children still in mortality and being the eldest grandchild I’ll be the older generation.
May 15, 1988
A few weeks ago Pres. John Allen of our Stake presidency called me about a matter and told me that he had been thinking of me and felt prompted to tell me to go see Elaine Phelps, a widow I’ve known since grade school in fact we went together during World War Ii before I went overseas. He knows her and felt inspired to suggest it.
A few weeks ago Pres. John Allen of our Stake presidency called me about a matter and told me that he had been thinking of me and felt prompted to tell me to go see Elaine Phelps, a widow I’ve known since grade school in fact we went together during World War Ii before I went overseas. He knows her and felt inspired to suggest it.
September 18, 1988
Much has happened on August Elaine and I were married for time in the Los Angeles Temple by Pres. Jack B. McEwan. All of our children were here except Johanna who was too close to delivering her 7th living child (Andrea, born August 31, 1988) The wedding was special and toughing. I hope and feel Rex and Marjorie approve.
Much has happened on August Elaine and I were married for time in the Los Angeles Temple by Pres. Jack B. McEwan. All of our children were here except Johanna who was too close to delivering her 7th living child (Andrea, born August 31, 1988) The wedding was special and toughing. I hope and feel Rex and Marjorie approve.
June 3, 1989 10 years ago I was given the sealing power to
be exercised in the Los Angeles Temple in behalf of the living and the dead by
President Spencer W. Kimball, I have had the privilege of performing many
sealings since then and have had some choice sacred experiences.
November 16, 1989
I went out to Newhall to be with Suzanne while she had her left breast removed, biopsy on the 13th was positive for duct cell carcinoma also the axillary lymph glands were positive. Kent and I gave her a blessing before surgery. The surgeon did a superb resection of the breast and lymph glands we of course do not know how much if any spread has occurred Suzanne’s attitude is good and I personally feel that the Lord is aware and loves her as we all do. I am very vulnerable when I comes to any of our children.
I went out to Newhall to be with Suzanne while she had her left breast removed, biopsy on the 13th was positive for duct cell carcinoma also the axillary lymph glands were positive. Kent and I gave her a blessing before surgery. The surgeon did a superb resection of the breast and lymph glands we of course do not know how much if any spread has occurred Suzanne’s attitude is good and I personally feel that the Lord is aware and loves her as we all do. I am very vulnerable when I comes to any of our children.
November 25, 1989,
My Marjorie would be 66 today.
My Marjorie would be 66 today.
February 11, 1990
We are still greatly concerned about Suzanne – She is undergoing chemotherapy has lost her hair and wears a realistic wig. She is battling her insurance company to approve an advanced treatment using autologous bone marrow transplant after very strong chemotherapy at UCLA medical center.
We are still greatly concerned about Suzanne – She is undergoing chemotherapy has lost her hair and wears a realistic wig. She is battling her insurance company to approve an advanced treatment using autologous bone marrow transplant after very strong chemotherapy at UCLA medical center.
March 11, 1990
Senator Bill Campbell called me March 9 to let me know that he had been able to intercede with the University of California in behalf of Suzanne, and they have agreed to accept her case as part of their Grant program saving her several hundred thousand dollars since her insurance company has admittedly refused to pay for the autologous bone marrow replacement and chemotherapy which is new and would require at least 4 weeks in the hospital
Senator Bill Campbell called me March 9 to let me know that he had been able to intercede with the University of California in behalf of Suzanne, and they have agreed to accept her case as part of their Grant program saving her several hundred thousand dollars since her insurance company has admittedly refused to pay for the autologous bone marrow replacement and chemotherapy which is new and would require at least 4 weeks in the hospital
April 8, 1990 Fast day,
Suzanne is in the midst of her treatment program at UCLA medial center, has had her bone marrow harvested and saved by freezing to be put back after her chemotherapy, she is in the middle of the now.
Suzanne is in the midst of her treatment program at UCLA medial center, has had her bone marrow harvested and saved by freezing to be put back after her chemotherapy, she is in the middle of the now.
This morning I was thinking of those we have lost and may
yet lost in death and began to understand that rather than dwell in our loss we
should consider how blessed we were to have had what we have – Each of our
children represent more of a blessing than I can possibly be worthy of.
April 16, 1990
Suzanne has had a very difficult time has been in intensive care at the hospital for nearly 2 weeks. When her immune system was down from the chemotherapy she got several infections and went into renal failure from the strong antibiotics, she also went into cardiac and respiratory failure and gave us quite a scare, she still is on dialysis but we hope her kidneys will respond again, she had such a close call, that the play to repeat the chemotherapy has been called off. It is hard to see of your beloved children look so near death – so many have been concerned and are praying for her I want so much for her to be able to raise her children. I’m not concerned about Suzie’s status; she is in my estimation very worthy for whatever the Lord has in store for her.
Suzanne has had a very difficult time has been in intensive care at the hospital for nearly 2 weeks. When her immune system was down from the chemotherapy she got several infections and went into renal failure from the strong antibiotics, she also went into cardiac and respiratory failure and gave us quite a scare, she still is on dialysis but we hope her kidneys will respond again, she had such a close call, that the play to repeat the chemotherapy has been called off. It is hard to see of your beloved children look so near death – so many have been concerned and are praying for her I want so much for her to be able to raise her children. I’m not concerned about Suzie’s status; she is in my estimation very worthy for whatever the Lord has in store for her.
Today I singed an agreement with BYU to donate 5 acres of
the land, the Lord gave us. They in turn
will sell it and pay Elaine and I 8% on the proceeds for as long as either
Elaine or I love or for at least 10 years.
I want to be sure that Elaine will be cared for if I die first – also
the home and other assets will be left to the children for a little help in
their lives.
I wish I knew what do with the rest of my life, its hard to
realize I’m in my 70th year in 10 years I’ll be going on 80 and if I
live in 20 years I be nearly 90 common sense tells me I don’t have a lot of
effective time left – in many ways I don’t feel different than I did at 30 –
but my body isn’t as limber and I don’t seem to get as much done as I used to.
My practice is dwindling.
I’m almost retired and don’t’ know it.
So many patients have moved, joined health plans or died. I see about
one third of what I used to. For such a
long time I did not take new patients and now people don’t want to start with
doctor who obviously will not practice much longer.
June 10, 1990
It looks like Suzanne will be discharged from the Hospital today. She is beginning to recover from the effects of the chemotherapy pneumonia, renal failure etc. She has been in the Hospital over 10 weeks – there have been a lot of prayers for her, many different faiths, we now pray that the cancer is irradiated.
It looks like Suzanne will be discharged from the Hospital today. She is beginning to recover from the effects of the chemotherapy pneumonia, renal failure etc. She has been in the Hospital over 10 weeks – there have been a lot of prayers for her, many different faiths, we now pray that the cancer is irradiated.
December 3, 1990
Spoke at Ann’s funeral service. Bob’s Bishop conducted and the Ward provided a luncheon for us, the Relief Society President used to live in our Stake and I performed the marriage of her daughter we were well treated and Bod’s family were favorable impressed. Our Sister Louise flew over and I picked her up at the airport. We had a nice family visit
Spoke at Ann’s funeral service. Bob’s Bishop conducted and the Ward provided a luncheon for us, the Relief Society President used to live in our Stake and I performed the marriage of her daughter we were well treated and Bod’s family were favorable impressed. Our Sister Louise flew over and I picked her up at the airport. We had a nice family visit
I remember so well when Bob and Ann were married and what a
cute girl Ann was. When Beverly was
born, I thought she was the prettiest baby I had ever seen. Bob got married before I did and so did
Louise even though I’m the oldest.
March 31, 1991
Well, I’m 70 now, older than I ever thought I’d be. I’ve had a full life more blessings than I can tell. To think of 40 years with Marjorie one of the truly great beautiful women – gracious lovely everything I wanted in a wife. Now to have the privilege of loving Elaine again after having loved her back during World War II. I remember the Wedding announcement when I was overseas. I hadn’t asked her to wait because I was young in experienced, didn’t know if I would come back alive, at that time we were not winning the war.
Well, I’m 70 now, older than I ever thought I’d be. I’ve had a full life more blessings than I can tell. To think of 40 years with Marjorie one of the truly great beautiful women – gracious lovely everything I wanted in a wife. Now to have the privilege of loving Elaine again after having loved her back during World War II. I remember the Wedding announcement when I was overseas. I hadn’t asked her to wait because I was young in experienced, didn’t know if I would come back alive, at that time we were not winning the war.
Elaine and I feel that had we married back then it would
have been difficult, we both needed to mature.
I feel the lord gave me Marjorie.
Why I cannot fathom the mercy and charity in doing so. Now that Elaine and I have had more
experience we can do appreciate each other and are very much in love – not
detracting on iota from the love I have for Marjorie. Elaine has a wonderful talent for being a
good enjoyable companion – cheerful appreciative and fun – we appreciated each
other now, we may not have years ago when we were immature.
Journal June 9, 1991 – January 10, 2011
September 8, 1991
Yesterday the Stake held a memorial service for Jared
Negrete, who was lost on a scout outing in the mountains and not found after 6
weeks. (I delivered him.) large
attendance of members and non-members.
I’m sure many hearts were touched by the sweet spirit.
October 20, 1991
Fast Sunday I spoke at a regional singles fireside. I told them I had been single twice and that
it was more important to be worthy to be married than to be married and if they
wanted to be married, and were worthy at some time their eternal existence,
they would be married. I think of the
fine young men I knew who were killed in the War. I know the Lord will not deny them a wife.
I enjoyed our church meetings today. I’ve been agonizing over what to do about
retiring. I’m in a position where I
enjoy all the privileges of being a doctor but am reluctant to shoulder all the
responsibilities. I dislike having to
put people in the hospital and doing all the paper work. When I come home at night I want to
stay. I have some old patients that I
know can’t last too much longer and I hate to see them die. Often I am not busy at the office and I
wonder why I bother going in at all. At
nearly 71, I realize I only have a limited time at best and I ask myself what
do I want to accomplish before I go and am I going to have some real regrets at
having not done things I ought to. All
at once I am the old generation. I have one Uncle left on either my Dad or
Mother’s side and many of my cousins are dead.
The Lord has been good to me and I am concerned that I be
more effective in service. I know I render
some service to missionaries and others as a doctor and in the Temple as a
Sealer and in Patriarchal Blessings but is it enough or should be really retire
leave on a mission etc. when we come
back would we pick up where we left off etc.
Should we sell the big house where the children have most of their
childhood memories – I wish I could have an angel come and tell me but I guess
that would be to easy. There are some
tings the Lord leaves up to us. I’ve had
some concern about how I die, can I go with dignity like Marjorie with all my
mental faculties. I’d like to outlive
Elaine for a short time so she would not have to be widowed again.
I have had some very choice experiences. Marjorie was just as surely an angel in my
life as the angel that visited Alma the younger. I still marvel at the effect she had on me
and what a unique special lady Elaine is.
I marvel at how much we enjoy each other.
I have a friend at the Temple who was widowed and remarried
and he said the Lord has blessed him that he could cry out of one eye. The side his wife didn’t see.
November 20, 1991
I have handled and observed quite a few adoptions over the years and I noted that many adopted children have a hard time. I don’t know if they feel insecure or if it is a carry over from their biologic parents. I think babies are affected by the inheritance given them and they may be affected by the drugs and mental state of either biologic parent. Certainly the sins of the parents can pass on to the children.
I have handled and observed quite a few adoptions over the years and I noted that many adopted children have a hard time. I don’t know if they feel insecure or if it is a carry over from their biologic parents. I think babies are affected by the inheritance given them and they may be affected by the drugs and mental state of either biologic parent. Certainly the sins of the parents can pass on to the children.
December 5, 1991
Today I had the privilege of performing the sealing of my brother Robert Lewis Brown to his deceased wife Rose Ann Mistoler. It is almost exactly 1 year since she passed away. Elaine was able to be proxy for Ann in the initiatory ordinances and the endowment as well as the Sealing. It was a sweet experience. Bob was very touched and you could feel a special spirit of acceptance. Judy and Mike were there as well as Felice and Mayo Smith.
Today I had the privilege of performing the sealing of my brother Robert Lewis Brown to his deceased wife Rose Ann Mistoler. It is almost exactly 1 year since she passed away. Elaine was able to be proxy for Ann in the initiatory ordinances and the endowment as well as the Sealing. It was a sweet experience. Bob was very touched and you could feel a special spirit of acceptance. Judy and Mike were there as well as Felice and Mayo Smith.
We were in the same room that we used when Marjorie was sealed to her parents a month before she left. The endowment session that Bob and I attended was the room we were in the last time Marjorie came to (in a wheel chair) We also sealed Ann’s parents and her to her parents. Judy acted as proxy for Ann’s mother.
February 16, 1992
We then went to see my Aunt Fern, David’s wife who broke her
hip and ironically is in the same convalescent hospital my Mother and Father
were in.
I wish I were more proficient in writing. My right hand is somewhat spastic and has a
tremor. It is very difficult for me to
write and I don’t enjoy it. I would like
to be able to relax and write long flowering beautiful penmanship, but as I
write my whole arm, hand and shoulder tighten and become tense and I know my
writing is almost illegible scribble, as I read back I am chagrined at what I
see.
I wish I could express my thoughts in writing to leave my
posterity more of how I feel. I have so
much I would like to express.
Feb 23, 1992
I have dreamed of Marjorie several times lately. She was so incredibly beautiful. Last night I dreamed I saw Rex Elaine’s first husband. He was so youthful and vigorous.
I have dreamed of Marjorie several times lately. She was so incredibly beautiful. Last night I dreamed I saw Rex Elaine’s first husband. He was so youthful and vigorous.
March 29, 1992
Today, Elaine and I are taking Marjorie’s Mother out to Suzanne and Kent’s for Eric’s receiving the Aaronic priesthood and being ordained a Deacon. I well remember delivering him on my birthday. I had just done some sealings at the Temple and went to the hospital 12 years ago.
Today, Elaine and I are taking Marjorie’s Mother out to Suzanne and Kent’s for Eric’s receiving the Aaronic priesthood and being ordained a Deacon. I well remember delivering him on my birthday. I had just done some sealings at the Temple and went to the hospital 12 years ago.
April 19, 1992
Afterwards Elaine and I met with Bishop Faubus and president Smith to ask for counsel on my retiring. I have an opportunity to sell my building and if I do it will almost necessitate retiring. I have been agonizing several weeks about and after talking to the Bishop and Stake presidency, I feel much better about it.
Afterwards Elaine and I met with Bishop Faubus and president Smith to ask for counsel on my retiring. I have an opportunity to sell my building and if I do it will almost necessitate retiring. I have been agonizing several weeks about and after talking to the Bishop and Stake presidency, I feel much better about it.
April 24, 1992
We did not have many from my class (only went 2 years at Tempe) we all sat at a table, my old High School Sweetheart came and I did not recognize her at first, she did not have her name tag on. Many there you did not recognize until you saw the nametag, then you put it together. I lost all my school pictures and yearbooks in a fire, so I was not able to refresh my memory and some I had not seen for over 50 years and of course many had changed considerably. Some of the girls we thought were sort of plain turned out to be very attractive, gracious women and some of those we thought were so pretty are not nearly as charming of course some were. The determining factor I believe is character, it will ultimately shine through. I wish we could tell our young people but I don’t know how we could.
We did not have many from my class (only went 2 years at Tempe) we all sat at a table, my old High School Sweetheart came and I did not recognize her at first, she did not have her name tag on. Many there you did not recognize until you saw the nametag, then you put it together. I lost all my school pictures and yearbooks in a fire, so I was not able to refresh my memory and some I had not seen for over 50 years and of course many had changed considerably. Some of the girls we thought were sort of plain turned out to be very attractive, gracious women and some of those we thought were so pretty are not nearly as charming of course some were. The determining factor I believe is character, it will ultimately shine through. I wish we could tell our young people but I don’t know how we could.
I think back and realize how little I really understood
about life and how miserable I’d be if the Lord let me have what I used to
think I wanted. What I finally got was
so much better.
May 12, 1992
I made a difficult decision today to retire. My building is sold apparently and rather than relocate a rapidly diminishing practice. I feel it is best to stop while I still have my faculties and move on to something else.
I made a difficult decision today to retire. My building is sold apparently and rather than relocate a rapidly diminishing practice. I feel it is best to stop while I still have my faculties and move on to something else.
May 13, 1992
Suzanne was part of Chanel 7 evening news on TV in their
part on Breast Cancer. Showed her family
and how near she came to dying. They all
looked beautiful. It was such a miracle
we were all able to be at David and Colleen’s wedding. That one blessing alone is worth more than I
can describe.
June 30, 1992
My last day in the office. I took 2 pick up loads of patients old records to recycled keeping only recent charts. My brother Bob came and helped. I donated most of my equipment to the A.A. County Medical Association to help Physicians who were burned out in the recent L.A. riots
My last day in the office. I took 2 pick up loads of patients old records to recycled keeping only recent charts. My brother Bob came and helped. I donated most of my equipment to the A.A. County Medical Association to help Physicians who were burned out in the recent L.A. riots
A lot of patients have shed tears and wrote nice notes but
almost all has expressed pleasure that I could now have time for “my self.”
October 4, 1992
Fall is in the air, for some reason I am nostalgic in the fall remembering other times and places, family friends, occasions etc. I think I’ve written earlier about being seated in the Tabernacle in October Conference seeing the leaves drop from the trees outside fluttering to the ground then looking up on the stand, President McKay and J. Reuben Clark aged giants soon to fall to mother earth. It seemed symbolic to me and now as I look back I realize that we are all relentlessly approaching the time when we figuratively will detach from mortality and drop to the ground, some leaves are pulled from the tree prematurely by forces other than time.
Fall is in the air, for some reason I am nostalgic in the fall remembering other times and places, family friends, occasions etc. I think I’ve written earlier about being seated in the Tabernacle in October Conference seeing the leaves drop from the trees outside fluttering to the ground then looking up on the stand, President McKay and J. Reuben Clark aged giants soon to fall to mother earth. It seemed symbolic to me and now as I look back I realize that we are all relentlessly approaching the time when we figuratively will detach from mortality and drop to the ground, some leaves are pulled from the tree prematurely by forces other than time.
August 2, 1993
We then saw Marjorie’s Aunt Ester at the old family ranch in Dewey. She was so good to Marjorie. She is now old and doesn’t feel she can manage the ranch much longer. It will be the end of an era. Marjorie’s grandmother was the 1st white child born in that part of Arizona and was known as Aunt Jane to many. When we would visit the ranch over the years it seemed like there was always some homeless person there. People always knew if things got tough they could go stay at Aunt Jane's. She lived to be 95 and is buried on the Ranch.
We then saw Marjorie’s Aunt Ester at the old family ranch in Dewey. She was so good to Marjorie. She is now old and doesn’t feel she can manage the ranch much longer. It will be the end of an era. Marjorie’s grandmother was the 1st white child born in that part of Arizona and was known as Aunt Jane to many. When we would visit the ranch over the years it seemed like there was always some homeless person there. People always knew if things got tough they could go stay at Aunt Jane's. She lived to be 95 and is buried on the Ranch.
October 10, 1993
Yesterday we celebrated Marjorie’s mother’s 89th birthday here on our patio, Suzanne, Judy and Charles came with their families. Belva does remarkably well, lives alone but is going to give up driving!
Yesterday we celebrated Marjorie’s mother’s 89th birthday here on our patio, Suzanne, Judy and Charles came with their families. Belva does remarkably well, lives alone but is going to give up driving!
Suzanne’s cancer has returned and the thought of losing
another beautiful woman in my life is difficult to bear, I have often thought
if the Lord said, you can only have Marjorie about 40 years, do you still want
her? Or you can only have Suzanne about 40 years, you will learn to care deeply
and it will hurt so bad when they go, do you still want them, are you willing
to pay the price?
Part of the price for loving some one is the pain that comes
when you are separated by death but you won’t turn down the opportunity to love
and cherish someone just because it will be so painful when they go. I’ve learned to care deeply it is inevitable
that sooner or later we will be separated.
But neither of us are willing to give up the sweetness of pain of
parting but I have come to realize if you didn’t love so much it would not hurt
so much, I guess everything has a price.
November 28, 1993 Today (28th)
Suzanne, Kent and family came over after church for dinner and I gave Rachel Ann her Patriarchal Blessing (# 1140 for me)
Suzanne, Kent and family came over after church for dinner and I gave Rachel Ann her Patriarchal Blessing (# 1140 for me)
I watch Suzanne battle her caner and I am filled with dread
at the thought of losing her yet am grateful to have had her at all.
I watch Kent and know what he is going through.
May 29 1994
I had an experience at the temple last week, that I felt was
significant – I was doing some sealings of couples from the Temple file for
deceased persons and one of the proxies said, “I lifted my finger” in the grip
– maybe we should do it over. I said the
important thing is that we had the authority to do what we did; some people
don’t have a right hand, does that make the ordinance less valid? But if it will allay your mind we will do it
over. When I repeated it, there was a
flat empty feeling as though the people for whom we were officiating had
left. That the ordinance had been done
for them and they were going, it was very noticeable to me.
August 7, 1994
It has been some time since I have made an entry – with Suzanne’s
illness, She is making a valiant effort to overcome her cancer with diet and
alternative methods of cure, having tried the conventional chemo therapy
etc. She has already lived longer than
some others who had the bone marrow transplant.
July 29, 1994
I have just read one of my Grandfather Brown’s journal s probably the last one he wrote, he was 87, driving his Volkswagen car all over Arizona, Utah, Colorado and Idaho. I admire his drive and interest in life. I hope I can do as well. As I read his journal I realize I never really knew him – I wish I had known him better. – I was his oldest grandchild and spent some time with him, but I can see, that I really didn’t know him as well as I would have liked.
I have just read one of my Grandfather Brown’s journal s probably the last one he wrote, he was 87, driving his Volkswagen car all over Arizona, Utah, Colorado and Idaho. I admire his drive and interest in life. I hope I can do as well. As I read his journal I realize I never really knew him – I wish I had known him better. – I was his oldest grandchild and spent some time with him, but I can see, that I really didn’t know him as well as I would have liked.
September 14, 1994
Marjorie’s Mother moved back to Arizona after 39 years we
were privileged to have her close by.
She was a wonderful grandmother to our children. And a good mother and mother in law, also she
and Elaine got along so well, genuinely loving each other. It was with some nostalgia that I realized
that another page of mu life has turned.
Now at age 90, she feels she should not live in her mobile home alone. So Norma and her children will get to enjoy
her.
September 18, 1994
M precious Suzanne is struggling with her cancer and it now
appears that it is in the Lord’s hands.
I am numb but grateful to have had her at all.
September 25, 1994
Just returned from a quick trip to Arizona for a wedding of
Elaine’s nephew. President John Allen
and his wife went with us. We were only
gone a day and a half. When we returned
there was a message that Suzanne had a bad spell nearly died. I am afraid it won’t be long before she has a
change of address.
I feel my life has been justified by having her as a
daughter and I can say that about any one of our 6 children. If the Lord had told me when she was born you
can only have her 39 years here. I would have said “with all my heart and will
be grateful for whatever I can have.
September 26, 1994
Suzanne has moved to that realm where the very choice
spirits go when they leave mortality.
September 29, 1994
Suzanne’s Funeral today.
Suzanne told Kent she wanted me to sign her death certificate and speak
at her funeral – I did sign her certificate after conferring with her cancer
specialists, I didn’t want to do anything unethical but Suzie felt since I
delivered her, I should sign her out. I
was the last Doctor to see her alive and the first.
All her brothers and sisters and spouses came, her 3
brothers gave the prayers. The Relief
Society President spoke then I spoke. I
was very apprehensive about speaking because my tears have been so close to the
surface and as I saw her pictures and children I kept wanting to cry. Just before I spoke “O Divine Redeemer” was
beautifully sung as it was at Marjorie’s service and I silently pleaded with
the Lord to give me strength, and he did, a calm came over me and I was able to
speak and I felt with the Spirit.
Kent did so well in the family gathering, telling of the
sweet experiences prior to her passing.
I had told him that I felt Marjorie was no longer present when she died
before her body stopped breathing and when her body stopped breathing and when
her body was taken away, it was not her, just her shell. Kent said he felt the same, during the last
her body was just mechanical or reflex breathing, but Suzanne had left. Just as it was with Marjorie when I saw
Suzanne’s body in the casket I had no feeling of it being her at all. And
didn’t even thing it looked like her. I
had Marjorie’s casket closed and didn’t have a viewing, just had a picture on
the casket.
Suzanne’s ward has been so supportive and helped so much, the
luncheon after the service was beautifully done. Several of my sweet little grandchildren
cling to me, and I to them, my heart melted and as I write this my children and
families are visiting each other in their homes of those in this area and I
like that.
It is hard to think of life without Suzanne.
I have had a lot of phone calls including President Rex Lee
of BYU. I was scheduled to attend the
BUY President’s Round Table and other events – also some lovely letters very
touching. There is so much that could be
said, O Suzanne I love you so.
May 21, 1995
I have since performed the Sealing of Kent and Deborah in
the L.A. Temple. We all felt a sweet
spirit and think Deborah will make a wonderful “acting mother” for Suzanne’s
children – and in talking to Kent, it seems they are very happy and adjusting
well.
May 5, 1996
My uncle David Owen Brown passed away. He was a very respected attorney and Judge in
Mesa Arizona, was always good to me. I
am now the oldest surviving of my Grandfather Brown’s family.
April 6, 1997
For nearly 5 years I have been the missionary doctor for the
Arcadia Mission and now recently for the Los Angeles mission, also.
I have given 1275 Patriarchal Blessings and am still serving
as a Sealer in the Los Angeles Temple.
I’ve been reflecting that I have served in a Stake calling for 41
consecutive years, High council 3 years, Stake Presidency 18 years, patriarch
20 years (Sealer 18 years in June). I am
in charge of Sealing’s Tuesday afternoon and evening, and in a recent prayer meeting
a new sealer commented that he couldn’t understand why he was called to be a
sealer and have that sacred privilege. I
told him the rest of us wondered the same thing about our selves. But Robert L. Simpson told us when he was
Temple President that we were each fore ordained to be Sealers, and I have taken
comfort in that.
June 15, 1997
A month ago at age 92 plus years Marjorie’s mother broke her hip and her let wrist. She has a good attitude is still alert and determined to walk again.
A month ago at age 92 plus years Marjorie’s mother broke her hip and her let wrist. She has a good attitude is still alert and determined to walk again.
July 21, 1997
Sometime ago I was telling some friends about where I was when World War II ended. I was a combat engineer Battalion having been in England France, and Germany, when the European campaign ended and we were shipped to the Philippines Island to await the invasion of Japan. One evening we were in a large barn with a tin roof watching a movie, “The Big Sleep” when the movie was stopped and it was announced that the Japanese had accepted the Potsdam agreement. Pandemonium broke loose, we all had our rifles and men were shooting them off and going crazy. Finally an old Colonel got things quieted down and told us he was in World War I when it ended and many men were hurt or killed accidently with the armistice was announced. He said be careful don’t shoot your guns; we want you all to go home now that we have come this far.
Sometime ago I was telling some friends about where I was when World War II ended. I was a combat engineer Battalion having been in England France, and Germany, when the European campaign ended and we were shipped to the Philippines Island to await the invasion of Japan. One evening we were in a large barn with a tin roof watching a movie, “The Big Sleep” when the movie was stopped and it was announced that the Japanese had accepted the Potsdam agreement. Pandemonium broke loose, we all had our rifles and men were shooting them off and going crazy. Finally an old Colonel got things quieted down and told us he was in World War I when it ended and many men were hurt or killed accidently with the armistice was announced. He said be careful don’t shoot your guns; we want you all to go home now that we have come this far.
Many young people who were not there decry or wring their
hands at our dropping the atomic Bomb but they don’t realize how many lives
were saved on both sides, if we had to invade Japan the loss would have been astronomical
we would have pulverized them with conventional bombing their the invasion
would have been so bloody, they were conditioned to fight fanatically.
They started the war were unmerciful in their attacks on
China, Manchuria and the South Pacific Islands, killed many invent civilians
were extremely cruel and barbaric.
November 9, 1997
Marjorie’s mother died the 2nd of November. She was 93 and ready to do. She told Norma, I’ve tried to die 3 times and you won’t let me, please stop it.”
Marjorie’s mother died the 2nd of November. She was 93 and ready to do. She told Norma, I’ve tried to die 3 times and you won’t let me, please stop it.”
The service was more of a celebration for a life well
lived. I never enjoyed Mother in law
jokes because they don’t apply to my wonderful mother in law.
Jim conducted the service; Jenny, Christie and Chandra play
a violin trio “I need thee every hour.
Jill gave the obituary, I spoke then each of the grandchildren gave a
very appropriate tender tribute and testimony.
All my children came even David from Michigan.
August 15, 1998
Rachel Ann Gardiner was married to Robert Lawrence Radoff today she looked so lovely. Her older brother Chad came home from his mission, looks good and so much like his mother Suzanne, I wanted to cry.
Rachel Ann Gardiner was married to Robert Lawrence Radoff today she looked so lovely. Her older brother Chad came home from his mission, looks good and so much like his mother Suzanne, I wanted to cry.
June 20, 1999
Eric Gardiner has received his mission call to Denver
Colorado.
Glenn Goodman has been called as Bishop of a newly created
Ward in Yuba City.
Jim Jr has been called to his Stake High Council
All of above in the first 2 weeks including Lechelle Wooten
graduating from high School.
June 27 1999
Rachel Gardiner Radoff called me to ask if I would perform
their sealing in the L.A. Temple August 14.
I am very grateful for that.
Glenn Goodman was called to be bishop of a new ward in Yuba
City CA a few days later he lost his job and then they received a cashiers
check for 500.00 from an anonymous donor.
August 14, 1999
I had the privilege of performing the sealing of Marjorie and my Granddaughters Rachel Ann Gardiner to Robert Lawrence Radoff in the Los Angeles Temple.
I had the privilege of performing the sealing of Marjorie and my Granddaughters Rachel Ann Gardiner to Robert Lawrence Radoff in the Los Angeles Temple.
September 24, 1999
Elaine and I flew to Salt Lake to attend BYU celebration of
their Lighting the Way fund raising drive attended a banquet where president Hinckley
was present and we go to have our picture taken with him. He asked me what year was that Rolls Royce
and how many do you have? I said, “Only
one, times are tough”
December 19, 1999
52 years ago Marjorie and I were married in the Mesa Temple.
52 years ago Marjorie and I were married in the Mesa Temple.
Yesterday I performed
the marriage of Chad Aaron Gardiner, Suzanne’s oldest ton to Maryssa Hill
Montgomery in the L.A. Temple. The day
before on the 14th I was able to go to an endowment session with Chad,
as he was there with his fiancée to receive her endowment, he was by himself
and I’m grateful I was there to be with him
August 11-13m 2000
Some time ago I told Chandra about hearing Meditation from
Massenet Opera This in a bombed out Cathedral in Germany in 1945 and as well as
being a lovely melody she learned it on the violin. Played it to me, what a nice gift (brought
tears.)
All of our grandchildren seem to be gifted, Marjorie must be
proud of them.
January 20, 2002
Today we started back attending our regular ward. We sat near a young mother with 6 children
about the age my children when we first moved in our ward, I remembered how it
was with Marjorie and I then – I wish it could have lasted longer – and I wish
I could have done better.
February 20, 2002
Jus got word that my only sister Louise Barrett was found
dead in her condo apt by her daughter, apparently of natural causes, had been
dead several days. I have been very
reflective and aching many memories of our childhood and the years intervening.
September 24, 2002
I have an oriental neighbor that several years ago I gave a rotor
tiller machine because he was growing vegetables to sell and needed a machine
like I had. I didn’t think anything of
it.
Today I went down to see them because I heard the wife had
been sick. During our visit they told me
that her father just died and he previously did not believe in God. This man and his wife had been praying for a
tiller and could not afford one. When I
gave them the tiller out of the blue not even knowing I had one, or me knowing
he needed one, they live down the hill from us.
The man was convinced that it was an answer to prayer, and died a
believer in a God.
May 18, 2003
Also this month I performed the temple marriage of Eric James Gardiner to Hayley Lewis, I delivered him on my birthday. I also gave Chelsea Wooten and Shawn Adams patriarchal blessings.
Also this month I performed the temple marriage of Eric James Gardiner to Hayley Lewis, I delivered him on my birthday. I also gave Chelsea Wooten and Shawn Adams patriarchal blessings.
June 19, 3003
My last brother Robert Lewis Brown was found dead in his assisted living apartment. He is nearly 3 years younger than me. He never re married after his wife died. I suspect I may have died had not I remarried.
My last brother Robert Lewis Brown was found dead in his assisted living apartment. He is nearly 3 years younger than me. He never re married after his wife died. I suspect I may have died had not I remarried.
Bob and I were quite close being the 2 oldest we worked
together on the farm, slept together in a tent summer and winter outside the
house, because we only had a 3 room house, we were in our teens before we had
indoor plumbing.
After Bob’s wife died Bob worked in the L.A. Temple we used
to ride in together and we had some great times exchanging jokes etc. even when he moved to Texas to be close to his
daughter we would email each other jokes.
I called him yesterday each told a joke and told each other
we loved them. I will miss him. I am the oldest living descendant of my
Grandfather Brown.
February 7, 2004
I lay awake many nights unable to sleep. I used to have older patients who had the same problem. I think of many things, childhood, the war (WWII)_ Marjorie, each of our children, old friends (most are dead now) I review a lot of my mistakes and regrets, aching for Marjorie grateful for Elaine, worrying about our children and their families.
I lay awake many nights unable to sleep. I used to have older patients who had the same problem. I think of many things, childhood, the war (WWII)_ Marjorie, each of our children, old friends (most are dead now) I review a lot of my mistakes and regrets, aching for Marjorie grateful for Elaine, worrying about our children and their families.
It was so clear to me this morning that the most desirable
condition ever is to be “right” with the Lord and be guided by his Spirit in
our relationships as child, spouse or sibling or to his other children.
July 22, 2004
Marjorie died 17 years ago today Last Sunday in our Gospel Doctrine class I realized I delivered the teacher.
Marjorie died 17 years ago today Last Sunday in our Gospel Doctrine class I realized I delivered the teacher.
September 19, 2004
Elaine is lying upstairs in bed dying, same room as Marjorie
died in
My heart is being torn and stretched with a sense of loss
yet with gratitude for the great gift of 16 years.
She is dying just like Marjorie metastatic cancer spread to
the bones from an unknown primary.
The last two weeks of August we went on a 2-week
Scandinavian Cruse while the Temple was closed.
Just before we left she complained of some back and hop pain. It was relieved by over the counter arthritis
medication and we assumed that it was a flare up of arthritis pain, which she
has had over the years! During the trip
it became very severe. Fortunately I had
taken with us some strong pain pills and we got through the trip England,
Germany, Estonia, Finland, Russia, Sweden and Denmark. We traveled with Jack and Betty McEwen. Has we waited a week to go we could not have
gone. The day after we got home I
arrange bone scans, MRI and CAT scans etc. and confirmed the diagnoses of what
clinically I knew she had!
Her children have all been here and support the decision not
to treat her heroically. There have been
some very tender sweet family visits as I observe it, I cry inside.
So many want to help, and I tell them, “just pray she does
not suffer.”
October 2, 2004
Elaine passed away 4 am upstairs in our bedroom where Marjorie passed away. I had hospice help us and I took care of her at home as with Marjorie. I don’t think I loved her more than when I was taking care of her.
Elaine passed away 4 am upstairs in our bedroom where Marjorie passed away. I had hospice help us and I took care of her at home as with Marjorie. I don’t think I loved her more than when I was taking care of her.
October 24, 2004
I had told Elaine that I wanted to outlive her 2 weeks so she would not have to be widowed again, it is now a day past 3 weeks.
I had told Elaine that I wanted to outlive her 2 weeks so she would not have to be widowed again, it is now a day past 3 weeks.
Being widowed the 2nd time is a very stretching
experience, I now miss Marjorie more while I miss Elaine very much I realize
she is no longer my wife. She is sealed
to Rex. I am grateful to have experienced
the sweetness of a tender relationship with another wonderful woman and as I
was privileged to be there caring for both Marjorie and Elaine as mortality
faded I got just a glimpse of the sacred preciousness of daughter’s of God and
as I felt the sacred impact of that once in a lifetime experience, my heart
ached and nearly broke at the significance.
I have periods of a sick empty feeling, then when I get
tired of my pity party I am filled with gratitude, Elaine’s children have been
very supportive and good to me, I hope we can remain close. Marjorie and my children have been very
helpful and concerned.
November 24, 2004
A lot has happened including selling our home of about 43 years and buying another, the first without Marjorie unless she helped me from the other side, I’d like to think so.
A lot has happened including selling our home of about 43 years and buying another, the first without Marjorie unless she helped me from the other side, I’d like to think so.
December 19 2004 Marjorie and my 57th wedding
anniversary, here as I am in my lovely new home with such a magnificent view of
the entire valley I have a completely landscaped acre with a swimming pool,
home filled with too much furniture, rugs and accessories mementos, paintings etc. Yes wishing I could go back to that little
house trailer with no bathroom and Marjorie there.
Moving was a miracle.
I had all my children and about 45 people from the ward move me in 2
days. My children arranged the home like
they thought Marjorie would have and I feel they came close.
Christmas is near, all the music and programs remind me of
many Christmases and people long gone, Christmases during the depression when
we would have had no presents if it were not for a childless aunt, who had a
husband who had a job and she saw to it that we had presents. I remember one Christmas my mother walked to
town and paid 15 cents for a 2nd handbook for me for Christmas. Then of course the wonderful Christmases with
Marjorie. She loved Christmas, nativity
sets and Christmas, particularly the missionaries on Christmas Eve. We had 36 missionaries for dinner and program
some very sweet memories I had some nice Christmases with Elaine and her family
also.
January 23, 2005
Had a nice Christmas Jim and Carol and 8 of their children (James on a mission) Kent and 5 of his children (Ryan on his mission) Lechelle miraculously escaped the tidal wave in Thailand by coming home a week early. The people she was going to stay with in her original plans were killed.
Had a nice Christmas Jim and Carol and 8 of their children (James on a mission) Kent and 5 of his children (Ryan on his mission) Lechelle miraculously escaped the tidal wave in Thailand by coming home a week early. The people she was going to stay with in her original plans were killed.
July 24, 2005
In my recent prayers I have pled with the Lord to help me to not do anything with my last days that would be displeasing to Him or Marjorie as I sat with Norma in the conference Center and thinking of how it was exactly 18 years to the day that Marjorie died, I turned to Norma and proposed she accepted and we plan to marry soon, she will keep her condo in Mesa and we will have 2 homes, hers incidentally she bought from Elaine. I will still be Uncle Jim to her family and she will be Aunt Norma to ours.
In my recent prayers I have pled with the Lord to help me to not do anything with my last days that would be displeasing to Him or Marjorie as I sat with Norma in the conference Center and thinking of how it was exactly 18 years to the day that Marjorie died, I turned to Norma and proposed she accepted and we plan to marry soon, she will keep her condo in Mesa and we will have 2 homes, hers incidentally she bought from Elaine. I will still be Uncle Jim to her family and she will be Aunt Norma to ours.
August 18, 2005
Her bishop in Mesa at Three Fountains Club house where Norma has her condo married Norma and me.
Her bishop in Mesa at Three Fountains Club house where Norma has her condo married Norma and me.
We had good representation from all four families, Norma has
been married 2 times before also. We
then left for Canada to take the Rocky Mountain rail trip dome liner through
the Canadian Rockies to Baniff and Lake Louise.
November 20, 2005
A lovely Sabbath, our home is in such a beautiful spot in the hills with abundant foliage, privacy and spectacular view.
A lovely Sabbath, our home is in such a beautiful spot in the hills with abundant foliage, privacy and spectacular view.
I prepared my Priest quorum lesson, didn’t have time for the
lesson with the necessary quorum business, but I got a lot out of preparing it
so I was not disappointed actually I was relieved. I’m not a gifted teacher like Marjorie. Not having a Ward calling for nearly 50 years
I have a great deal to learn.
I enjoy having Norma with me She is a very sweet lady.
April 9, 2006
At Ben and Holly’s baby blessing Holly’s grandfather took me for a ride in his Rolls Royce Silver Ghost. He has a marvelous collection of cars, the time “know how” money equipment and space and can do things I wanted to but couldn’t with my cars. I had a brief twinge of envy but it quickly passed as I thought of the Rolls I sold and it took Marjorie and I to New Zealand, later China and The last I sold and took our children to Nauvoo with their spouses.
At Ben and Holly’s baby blessing Holly’s grandfather took me for a ride in his Rolls Royce Silver Ghost. He has a marvelous collection of cars, the time “know how” money equipment and space and can do things I wanted to but couldn’t with my cars. I had a brief twinge of envy but it quickly passed as I thought of the Rolls I sold and it took Marjorie and I to New Zealand, later China and The last I sold and took our children to Nauvoo with their spouses.
April 25, 2006
Rereading my journal is a healing experience. I’m glad I wrote what I have, even though I’m the only one able to decipher it.
Rereading my journal is a healing experience. I’m glad I wrote what I have, even though I’m the only one able to decipher it.
June 28, 2006
I do a lot of sitting, listening to music that reminds me of old dreams and yearnings, people I love and miss, music reminds me of events and people. When I think back on my youth dreams I think I was always longing for Marjorie just didn’t know what it was until the Lord gave her to me. There are some pieces that fill me with inexpressible longing for her and each of our children. As I agonize over decisions I need to make, I wish she were here and I ask myself what would she like me to do.
I do a lot of sitting, listening to music that reminds me of old dreams and yearnings, people I love and miss, music reminds me of events and people. When I think back on my youth dreams I think I was always longing for Marjorie just didn’t know what it was until the Lord gave her to me. There are some pieces that fill me with inexpressible longing for her and each of our children. As I agonize over decisions I need to make, I wish she were here and I ask myself what would she like me to do.
October 28, 2007
Norma and I returned last night from a tour with the Sons of the Utah Pioneers on a bus trip to the Mexican Colonies where my mother was born. We attended 2 temples, Colonia Juarez and Hermeetllo and saw part of Copper Canyon. We spent 2 nights in Dublin where mother was born. By coincidence one of my Hurst cousins was on the bus. We have the same great grandfathers; Philip Hurst and Norma met a woman on the tour who shares great Grandfathers with Marjorie and her.
Norma and I returned last night from a tour with the Sons of the Utah Pioneers on a bus trip to the Mexican Colonies where my mother was born. We attended 2 temples, Colonia Juarez and Hermeetllo and saw part of Copper Canyon. We spent 2 nights in Dublin where mother was born. By coincidence one of my Hurst cousins was on the bus. We have the same great grandfathers; Philip Hurst and Norma met a woman on the tour who shares great Grandfathers with Marjorie and her.
The Colonia Juarez Temple is the smallest temple in the
church, I have attended about 26 Temples and I have never felt the spirit
stronger than there and had a great feeling of love and appreciation for my
family and others in their faithfulness, being bi lingual and love of the
Spanish speaking people provided most of the early missionaries mission
residence etc. That established the
church in central and South America and could really see how the Lord was in
charge. I’m sure the early pioneers
could not see how their trials persecutions etc. were blessing and preparing
them to build up his Kingdom. As I
contemplated this a number of times in the Temples tears came to my eyes.
March 12, 2008
I renewed my driver’s license today. I had been dreading it hoping I could pass the vision test only having one good eye since birth (congenital amblyopia) and at 87 at has aged. I got new glasses and managed to pass. I suspect it will be my last. Most of the kales in y family haven’t lived past 90 so at 92 when 5 years is up, if I’m still alive; I will probably be a menace. When I was 82 and renewed I felt it could be my last. I think my hillside home with its steep driveway and working the weeds and walking up in the hills is keeping me alive. I feel better if I have exerted myself each day.
I renewed my driver’s license today. I had been dreading it hoping I could pass the vision test only having one good eye since birth (congenital amblyopia) and at 87 at has aged. I got new glasses and managed to pass. I suspect it will be my last. Most of the kales in y family haven’t lived past 90 so at 92 when 5 years is up, if I’m still alive; I will probably be a menace. When I was 82 and renewed I felt it could be my last. I think my hillside home with its steep driveway and working the weeds and walking up in the hills is keeping me alive. I feel better if I have exerted myself each day.
August 24, 2008
Norma’s is in Arizona for a few days and I’ve been going through a lot of my papers personal and Marjorie’s. Also some of Elaine’s that I kept. It has been good for me reminding me of how blessed I’ve been. I did not weed out very much and my family will have to look at letters, pictures of people they don’t know and who are dead. I am sorry but throw it out if you like, its good for me to review, periodically while I’m alive. But I realize my era is almost gone. Most of the newspaper articles my mother sent me are about people in Arizona that our children will not know but I like to look at them, if I know when I was going to die I’d throw them all away the week before.
Norma’s is in Arizona for a few days and I’ve been going through a lot of my papers personal and Marjorie’s. Also some of Elaine’s that I kept. It has been good for me reminding me of how blessed I’ve been. I did not weed out very much and my family will have to look at letters, pictures of people they don’t know and who are dead. I am sorry but throw it out if you like, its good for me to review, periodically while I’m alive. But I realize my era is almost gone. Most of the newspaper articles my mother sent me are about people in Arizona that our children will not know but I like to look at them, if I know when I was going to die I’d throw them all away the week before.
April 3, 2009
Successfully passed my 889th birthday on the 26th of March. It has been 71 years since I graduated from High School.
Successfully passed my 889th birthday on the 26th of March. It has been 71 years since I graduated from High School.
I just finished reading a book of people’s remembrances of
World War II. When it started during and
when it ended in Europe and then the pacific.
I was riding up to Salt Lake from Provo with my Father’s cousin Bruce
Lyman and we heard of the bombing of Pearl Harbor on the car radio. I still remember the foreboding realization
of how our lives would be changed.
I was in Germany as a combat engineer battalion when the war
needed there. We were then shipped to
the Philippines and were part of the preparations to invade Japan. When the bomb was dropped. We were watching an outdoor movie “The big
Sleep” with Humphrey Bogart. We all had
our rifles etc. The movie was topped and
it was announces that Japan has surrendered.
Pandemonium broke out; men were shooting off their rifles in the air
etc. Finally an old Colonel quieted us
down and said he was in Europe when World War I ended and quite a few men lost
their lives or were injured through carless celebrating and he wanted all to
get hoe safe. I feel that had the bomb
not been dropped and we had to invade Japan by conventional bombing etc. It may
not have come home as well as thousands of others on both sides.
I think of many I knew who were killed and didn’t get to
know someone like Marjorie and our children.
November 4, 2009
In the afternoon of Halloween my right inguinal hernia incarcerated
In the afternoon of Halloween my right inguinal hernia incarcerated
And part of my intestine was strangulated. I called my good and dear friend Dr. Jeff
Tsae that Marjorie and I went to China with and who took care of Marjorie when
she died. He said, “go to the emergency
room, Ill meet you there we will hook a direct dermal and do emergency
surgery. Jim Smith took me and Jeff was
waiting he operated before gangrene set in and I’m doing fine. I went home the next day. People have been so kind.
April 24, 2010
For the past 2 months Norma’s has been very ill. I.C.U. three times in the hospital and car facility etc. She is very discouraged.
For the past 2 months Norma’s has been very ill. I.C.U. three times in the hospital and car facility etc. She is very discouraged.
I was driving to the temple today alone feeling unsure of my
self at 89 wondering what to do and if I should not try to keep going and I
began to think about Marjorie and it felt like she was with me and I regained
my confidence. It was such a good
feeling; even during the marriage I performed I felt her presence. What a sweet gift from the Lord.
July 22, 2010
Norma is still in the Hospital alternating with ICU and care center. I try to see her at least twice a day except on July 11 Jenny and I flew up to be at Christies farewell an setting apart for her mission to Brazil.
Norma is still in the Hospital alternating with ICU and care center. I try to see her at least twice a day except on July 11 Jenny and I flew up to be at Christies farewell an setting apart for her mission to Brazil.
Last entry: Jan 23, 2011
Our Stake presidency was changed today. 34 years ago this month I was released as Stake President and ordained a Patriarch by Elder L. Tom Perry.
Our Stake presidency was changed today. 34 years ago this month I was released as Stake President and ordained a Patriarch by Elder L. Tom Perry.
I was impressed how each member of the new Presidency had
been prepared and that everything was under the direction of the Lord. The counsel given by Elder Bowen and Elder
Carmogo of the Seventy was inspired.
Starting early this morning I have been thinking of how much
I have been blessed and I am determined to live, say and think more in harmony
with my blessings.